Chapter Twenty-Two: Acceptance

The room is suffocatingly silent.

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I strangely feel like a ten-ton weight falls off my shoulders.

The feeling is so euphoric that I’m actually forced to stifle a laugh while I look around the room at their mixed expressions caused by my proclamation. Vince looks like he swallowed a lemon, and Sandra looks like she swallowed twelve. Wade looks positively horrified and the rest of them can’t even force themselves to look at me.

All of it just seems so funny. Like seriously, how can they all just stand there looking so guilty?

The silence drags on for so long that I begin to feel kind of bad for them. I mean the situation is so absurd I could cry right now. I was the one who was left for dead with the smallest chance of survival. I was the one who had to figure everything out alone with no one else to rely on. And I was the one who had to put my life on the line at every turn just to scrape by. All of this is true, yet I can’t help but feel for the sad excuse of a group in front of me.

Just like me, they were thrown into a strange new world where no one has any idea of what is going on. Sandra said that thirty people were in the cave, but only eleven of us stand here now. These people had to watch two-thirds of their group die to creatures never seen before. They had to run through a deadly forest with a mysterious beast that turns any being of flesh into nothing but mush in an instant. The fact they left a radioactive corpse behind in their haste to escape doesn’t really sound that crazy to me now that I think about it.

Am I actually feeling empathetic toward these people right now?

This thought finally pushes me over the edge and a desperate chuckle works its way through my entire body and out of my mouth in one loud, guttural laugh. The sounds of my mirth echo through the room and hit the group like a slap to the face, as their expressions turn from guilt to outright disbelief.

Now that I am really thinking about the whole situation; Why was I so angry to begin with? I mean, leaving me to die because you are scared and want to save yourself is basic human nature. If I’m being honest, what they did isn’t even in my top ten list for ‘Worst Things Someone Has Done to Me.’

If I can deal with a doctor that used to cut me open for fun, then I can deal with some average, everyday abandonment by people who didn’t even know better.

As my thoughts finally clear up, I realize that the sound of my laughing is the only noise in the entire room. I probably look like I have a screw loose in my head, but I can’t seem to make myself care very much. I rub my eyes, which seem to be wet, before walking over to grab Pawl, and take him to the far side of the barracks where I sit down on a bunk away from everyone else. Pawl seems to get the hint, and he purrs quietly while I stroke his fur and calm my mind.

I sit there quietly until eventually I see movement on the other side of the room. I decline to look up though and instead bask in the comforting presence of my furry friend. Hesitant footsteps approach me, but I still refuse to raise my head. The sounds of motion stop at the foot of my bed, yet no words are spoken for what feels like a small eternity.

“…Hey, Seb.”

I finally look up at my old friend’s face and wish I hadn’t. A pang of guilt shoots through my chest as I see his bloodshot eyes full of tears and mouth curled into a deep frown.

“I’m… really sorry. I know you probably don’t care, but…I didn’t know that was you.” Tears begin to fall freely down his face. “I’m so sorry for leaving you there. It sounds so horrible saying it, but we didn’t think you were still alive by the time we had gotten out of those cuffs.”

He continues to apologize but I can’t hear any of it; I don’t want to.

Please stop looking at me like that. I can’t stand when people look at me like that. His entire face is a painting comprised of guilt, sadness, and most of all: Pity. I hate it so much. I can’t help but feel responsible for his expression. I wanted them to feel bad for what they had done, but this is too much. I already decided to forgive them so now I just feel like I’m the asshole. By now, my old friend is blubbering, and I can’t help but feel even worse. Finally fed up, I cut off his apology.

“Wade, I forgive you, okay? Just stop crying please, it’s making me feel bad.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Huh…Wait wha- what do you mean?” Surprise blooms over his features, but he doesn’t seem to understand what I’m saying.

“Look, I understand the situation you were all in. I get why you all made the decision to leave me behind. I’m not happy about it obviously, but I don’t blame you or any of them for doing what you did. In fact, I’m somewhat relieved to know that I don’t have to compete with the rest of you through ‘The Pillar’ or whatever it is. It’ll be nice to have other people to talk to. Making jokes to a cat was getting kind of old anyways.”

Wade just stands there gulping like a fish out of water. I let out a sigh and move Pawl off my lap before getting up and offering him a hand to shake. He stares at my hand for a bit before reaching forward to grab mine.

“Stop crying and go back over there and tell the others that I won’t try to kill them in their sleep or anything. I don’t really want to talk with anyone else right now, so I am going to hit the bathroom and then take a nap. We can all catch up after I get some sleep, okay?”

He limply shakes my hand while nodding at my words. The corner of his mouth pulls up almost compulsively into the trademark smile I remember as a kid, but I can tell he still isn’t fully comprehending what I am saying. I let his hand go and usher him in the direction of the others before grabbing Pawl and heading to the door of the restroom I spotted earlier.

“Let’s go get you a bath, buddy. You kind of stink.”

Meow

…

POV: Vince Jaeger