Chapter 38: We’re Good+ UPDATED 7/8

Chapter 38: We’re Good

Paike did his best to keep his head high as he walked back to his house alone. The rest of the run had gone okay, he thought to himself. But it wasn’t very convincing.

Things had certainly gone downhill, starting with the Enchanted Forest. But they had finished. Not every team had done that. Things had gotten a little bit tense at specific points, but he was pretty sure no one had walked away with lasting hurt feelings. He hoped. Still, he definitely needed to spend some time by himself, just thinking. He hadn’t realized he was that competitive. But it turned out he just was.

He had been resigned to never doing well, supporting his sister, and just skating by with whatever progress he could eke out. But when they were on that last obstacle, he could see two teams still not finished… Well, maybe it started before that if he was being honest. But losing sucked.

Paike kicked at the ground in front of him, sending a rock skittering along the path. Something about the way it bounced off rocks and dirt differently called to him spiritually. But his mind was in too turbulent of a place to consider it. He kicked the rock ahead of him again as he continued walking.

At least they hadn’t finished last. The idiots Han Saiyan and Ren Shu had finished before any other team, but they’d left the rest of their team behind on the first obstacle. Paike wasn’t actually sure if they were allowed to leave yet. Ren Shu and Han Saiyan were still waiting under Elder Ji’s disapproving glare when the other three teams were dismissed.

Li Feng’s team had finished well before anyone else but not so far ahead that Paike didn’t think they could catch up with some practice. Still, the fact that the last team had barely edged them out was frustrating. And he may have said things that he shouldn’t have in the heat of the moment.

It wasn’t really anyone’s fault, Paike kept telling himself. Not his. Not theirs. No need to be worked up over it.

He could feel his fingernails biting into his palm, where he clenched his fist, and his jaw was starting to ache.

“Okay.” Paike stopped, letting out a huge breath before staring up at the sky. “Okay,” he said aloud. “It’s okay.”

Taking a deep breath, he started reciting one of the basic meditation techniques he had learned before he was ten, focusing only on a glowing sun flickering in a black void. Pouring all of his emotions into it. It was a meditation technique he hadn’t needed to use for years, but now, the old familiar pattern in his mind helped him calm down. Once he finally had his temper under control and felt the cold, dispassionate calm flood him. His qi moved more smoothly, if a bit slower. He leveled his head, ignored the few people looking at him, and continued walking on.

Okay, that is done. But what could I have done better? One by one, he dissected the obstacles, going through what he learned about his team as they progressed and what they could do to improve their communication and tactics.

Mi Lixian and Zhang Shuying were competent cultivators, but not very creative. Either they didn’t feel okay offering their ideas or they were just natural followers. Seeing that Mi Lixian was a musician, Paike doubted that she didn’t have ideas. She needed to be able to compose new things to make her cultivation work. Or maybe she was just using other’s music? How to get everyone involved consumed his thoughts as he walked.

He made it home with no trouble. Guan Li was out, so Paike, for once, ignored the cultivation chamber and just went to bed, resting his head and getting a full night’s sleep for the first time in a very long while.

***

In the morning, Paike woke before dawn and sat in the kitchen, contemplating yesterday’s events. It was almost an hour before Guan Li exited his room. He stopped and looked at Paike with a bit of uncertainty in his face. Paike gave him a strange smile and called out gently, “Guan Li.”

Guan Li nodded. “Yeah,” he said slightly cautiously, but in his more relaxed tone rather than the formal words he saved for strangers. He walked past Paike and rummaged around the cupboards, looking for something to eat.

Paike breathed deeply. “I’m sorry. I think I got a little too intense yesterday, and I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or take things too far.”

Paike winced at his own words. Was apologizing wrong? It didn’t seem like something a cultivator should do. His father and mother certainly never admitted when they were wrong, but they were never wrong. He had also never heard about this in the stories or anything. And was he insulting Guan Li by suggesting that he had hurt feelings? He wasn’t trying to, but…

Guan Li’s shoulders tensed slightly in the cupboard before relaxing, and he turned and gave Paike a smile. “No, it’s… I should be apologizing. I was too slow on the uptake and let my temper get the better of me.”

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He raised a hand to stop Paike from interrupting. “But I appreciate the thought. I do think we all could have handled ourselves a little better, and perhaps we need to talk to each other as a team a little more. You don’t need to apologize to me, but I plan on making an apology to the team in general once I can.”

Paike nodded. “Yes, we probably all could. There’s probably a decent amount of blame to go around, but I think it’s salvageable.”

“Yeah,” Guan Li said, brightening up with a smile creeping onto his face. “Yeah, I think so. You know, before things fell apart, we were doing pretty well together. You were doing a good job calling the shots. Just need to get a little more comfortable with all of our skill sets, I think.”

Paike blinked. Well, he had been calling the shots, but yeah that probably wasn’t his place. “Maybe Liming should be–“

Guan Li shook his head, then shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, if she wants to, she can give being the leader a shot, but honestly, I think we’re okay with you giving field directions. We just need to give it another shot. Besides, we did pretty good. We were almost second.”

“Mmmhmmm,” Paike said. However, that wasn’t much of a consolation to him. He leaned forward, forearms resting on the table in front of him. “But something about the elder’s instructions yesterday tells me that it’s not going to be as simple this time.”

Guan Li paused and thought for a moment. “No, you’re probably right. Anyway, we have some time before we need to be there for the next lesson. You want to go help me raise my sect ranking a little bit?”

Paike jumped to his feet. “Sure. Let’s go. I’m not really sure how I can help you win individual duels, but—”