53 – Return To Esmera

Divinity is obsession. I have yet to ascend, but my analysis of gods and demons alike converges toward that conclusion.

Tash is obsessed with knowledge, which makes her a more interesting conversation partner than the others.

Out of all the divinities, I’m glad she chose me.

As for my own obsession, I have yet to decide.

Excerpt from the notes of Raymond Ludval, The Iron Vein Magus.

The twenty-five kilometers separating Lanterne from Esmera seemed shorter than they used to. Despite it being Alexandra’s third day running and fighting, her physical condition was excellent. Her legs weren’t sore, nor were her feet.

She couldn’t claim the same for her mental state.

The last few kilometers were a haze.

The late afternoon sun was still out when she reached Esmera. Since her run-in with the Wardens, she was wary of passing through the main gate, so she waited for the light to come down.

She moved along the wall in total silence. Once she reached the right place, she bent down and lifted the hidden trap door with one hand, and slipped through it, entering Louis’ hideout.

He wasn’t home.

The place was exactly as she’d left it. The air was stale, thick with the smell of damp stone and the faint tang of old oil.

A half-eaten heel of bread sat on the desk beside a cup with dried wine at the bottom. She tore the bread and shoved it into her mouth. Then, she picked up the bottle and poured herself a glass.

She sat on his bed, the straw groaning under her weight.

Alexandra had tried to find a reason why it wouldn’t be true. She really did. But no matter how she spun it, the new achievement on her status couldn’t be explained any other way.

“I killed someone.” She rested her elbows on her knees and grabbed her hair. “I fucking killed someone.”

Alexandra stayed motionless for a long moment, her mind replaying the scene over and over. John’s laugh, his body falling limp at her feet.

Then she thought of the others. “They’re dead too. Aren’t they?”

It wasn’t an illusion. Lanterne was just gone. That’s why her quest didn’t complete.

Her eyes caught her pants, her shirt, the fabric riddled with holes she hadn’t bothered to patch, the sickle at her belt.

She hadn’t paid them back. She never would.

“If John could escape…” she whispered. But she didn’t finish her sentence.

She stared at the ground.

After a while she unhooked the sickle from her belt. It was so light it didn’t feel real. The blade was clean. She didn’t remember wiping it, and that was somehow worse. Like it hadn’t happened. Like John had just stopped existing.

His laugh. That stupid, genuine laugh, like she’d said something actually funny right before she—

She pressed her palms against her eyes.

He had hated her. His eyes made it clear, even more than his words. She deserved some of it. Just a little.

The final blow hadn’t even hurt that much.

The metallic taste of her blood filled her mouth. Her cheek was bleeding. She’d bitten through it. She forced her jaw to relax.

She examined the edges of her blade, both spine and belly. Chips were starting to show. It was never made to fight. An old tool Lara had given her because they weren’t using it anymore. She needed it sharpened, or replaced.

The lamp flame bent sideways and steadied. She stared at the flame so hard she could almost see the air burning around it.

It was stupid, but she didn’t want to replace it. Even her previous plans of learning to wield the axe felt wrong. She turned the sickle in her hand. The wooden handle was worn out. She would outgrow it. She was already outgrowing it. Her newfound strength made it too light to leverage properly.

She set her sickle on the desk.

But…

She remembered picking flowers with Lara. How excited she was about unlocking a new skill. Therion working the fields. Bamir’s warnings. Marick’s rugged authority.

Lanterne. The villagers.

Gone. And she’d killed the last one herself.

Louis still wasn’t home.

She wondered what he was doing, and shook her head. His class was made for the night.

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

Alexandra summoned her journal. Opened it.

Find a settlement (1/1) -> Quest Completed: +10 exp, +1 PER

Daily Quest Streak: 16 -> 17

No new skill quest. Alexandra clicked her tongue. This was her first quest of that type, so she’d been hoping for an orientation skill.

“Not a huge loss.”

While it would have no doubt proved useful, it wasn’t a priority.

She turned to the next page.

Name: Alexandra Ward

Class: Heroine of Quests

Rank: Iron

Level: 3 (20/150)

Strength (STR): 26

Dexterity (DEX): 25

Constitution (CON): 27

Intelligence (INT): 26

Perception (PER): 28

Class Art: