(Book 2 Starts Here) Chapter 55: A Terrible Pet

Welcome to the first chapter of book 2!!!

Thomas staggered out of the Man-Eating Unicorn dungeon, feeling slightly shell-shocked. “I am never looking at unicorns the same way again.”

“Yeah,” drawled the Army National Guard guy, the older one, not the younger one who was so fresh-faced that he looked like he had just graduated high school. “We get that a lot here.” He looked Thomas up and down. “It doesn’t seem like you need any medical attention.”

He would have, if he wasn’t a healer. “Are you sure this is a level one dungeon?”

“That’s what the mana readings say.” The older army guy paused. “Who’s your new pet?”

Thomas glanced down at the unicorn toy he’d gotten as a loot drop from the boss. It was currently trying to whip its long neck around and bite him with needle teeth. Because he had it gripped right behind the shoulders, it couldn’t quite reach him. So instead, it kicked sharp hooves in the air while its scaly, whip-like tail lashed back and forth against his wrist.

“Definitely not a pet, even if it was alive,” Thomas said.

“It’s not alive?” The younger army guy had come up and was staring in rapt horror at the thing. “Are you sure?” His voice went up an octave. “You’re not allowed to bring live creatures out of the dungeon. It’s a biohazard.”

In answer, Thomas tapped the unicorn’s hind end with his free hand. It made a plasticky click-click sound that was quickly drowned out by a renewed screech of outrage. “Nope, it’s just a vicious toy. Look, it even has a brand.” He turned it to show off the little skull and crossbones stamped on the rump.

The older army guy frowned. “That looks dangerous. I’m going to have to insist that you at least get it appraised and registered.”

“Registered?” Thomas asked sharply. He didn’t like the sound of that, as he tried to keep off official government records as much as possible.

“Yeah, at the official Government Marketplace. Here, I have a box I think you can use to transport it safely.”

The older army guy made a “wait one moment” gesture and disappeared into a nearby tent. Having sneaked into a similar one with Jo a couple weeks back, Thomas knew it was full of supplies. A minute later, the army guy returned with a metal box that used to store bullets.

He held it out, and gingerly, Thomas placed the toy inside, yanking his hand back just as the younger army guy slammed the lid shut. Immediately, the unicorn toy started bashing its hooves and horn against the sides of the box.

Thomas grimaced. “Okay, maybe you have a point.”

“I’ll get you the address,” the older army guy sighed. “Normally protocol is to escort you, but… we’re short handed.” He gave Thomas a hard look. “Don’t make the officers come find you.”

Thomas felt vaguely offended, but didn’t allow it to cross his face. He wasn’t here to stand out. “Sure, it’s not like I want to keep the thing.”

_____

Walking back to his car a few minutes later, Thomas smiled to himself. They’d been so occupied with the unicorn toy they had completely forgotten to have him declare the rest of his loot.

He pulled out of the parking lot and headed in the direction of the Government Marketplace, which apparently had been set up in an old retail store that had closed over a decade ago. Before the System Integration announcement, it only functioned as a Spirit Halloween store two months out of the year. Now, it had new life.

However, he wasn’t going to head straight there like a good little civilian. Instead, he drove down the road for about half a mile before pulling over into an empty McDonald’s parking lot.

If this were a regular summer in Lake Tahoe, the drive-through line would stretch out to the road, thanks to tourists needing their McFix. It seemed that society had decided to turtle up since word of the System Integration came out. As a tourist town, his hometown was practically a ghost town.

That meant there was no one around to watch as he pulled his extra spatial backpack around and shuffled through it, double-checking his score of loot. It wasn’t like there had been much downtime to do so inside the dungeon.

He had come out nicely with a scattering of white Air mana crystals, some brown Earth, and even a single green Nature. All were level 1, but even if he didn’t want them personally, he could either sell them or give them to his family so they didn’t have to dungeon dive.

Then he pulled out the real prize of the dungeon. No, the vicious unicorn toy didn’t count.

It was a small, capped vial of thick red liquid. His System description labeled it as:

Unicorn Blood

Curious, Thomas shook it to see if there was any effect. Huh. It looked like there was glitter trapped in there along with the blood.

His healing mana told him nothing about it, but he had read enough Harry Potter to know that he certainly didn’t want to drink the stuff. So he’d sell it, just not at the government marketplace. He didn’t want to end up on a list.

Well, more lists. He had it on good authority that high-ranking officers in the local National Guard had their eyes on him. Applebaum seemed like a nice guy, but he didn’t know for sure.

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Fortunately, they didn’t have an inkling of his true Gift. They thought he was just a healer who could clear higher-level dungeons.

With that in mind, Thomas went through the drive-thru, ordered a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and was told to wait in an empty parking lot for ten minutes before a disinterested kid gave him a bag with a Double Cheeseburger Value Meal inside.

Society might be on the verge of crumbling, but good old Mickey D’s never changed.

In any case, Thomas was mostly interested in the bag. After choking down his two cheeseburgers, he filled the bag with the mana crystals and the vial of unicorn blood before he tossed the bag into the back to hide with the other mundane fast-food bags.

Good luck to the criminal who looked around in his car. Not that his old-ass blue sedan was a high-value target anymore, with the bullet holes and all.

His life had gotten strange over the last couple of months.

Thomas patted the top of the bullet box, earning an outraged squeal and the renewed sound of hooves beating against the side of the box. He turned his car back onto the road.

In direct contrast to the McDonald’s, the parking lot for the government marketplace was actually pretty full. It seemed that everybody from the greater Tahoe area on both the California and Nevada sides who wanted to get their items officially appraised were being funneled to this spot.

Thomas was required to present his driver’s license to be scanned at the door, then was shown inside.

The inside of the building was sterile, with everything of the former retail store ripped away. The only decorations were cardboard life-size standees of tough-looking men and women in full military outfits, along with banners advertising for people to sign up for one of the military branches.