1.09 Dungeon Capitalism

Chapter 9

“You’re Death?” I said, “Like, literal death? The concept itself?”

Now, seeing a beautiful woman suddenly appear in front of me claiming to be the personification of a conceptual and philosophical part of reality should have made me freak out. I probably should have sputtered and stuttered, or at least denied the possibility. It was insanity, claiming to be actual Death.

And yet, it didn’t really faze me that much at the time.

I had dealt with dungeons, stats, magic, game inventories, and ass-ugly little green humanoids murdering all of my friends, minus Richard. Coupled with the class and title I had received already, it almost made some sort of sick and twisted sense that I’d be talking to actual Death.

It was some fucked up logic, that was sure. But in the end, it was indeed logical. I was the Heir to Death, and it looked like… she… had now come to speak to me.

“I can see this isn’t too much of a surprise to you,” she said. “I assume the System has given you the title already. And well, you did pick the class once I extended my offer, obviously.”

“Your offer? So I didn’t earn the class?” That was an interesting bit of info for me. I thought I had shown my worth in that Tutorial.

“Prideful and dealing with low self-esteem are we?”

“No…”

Things were silent for a moment, this Lady Death staring intently at me until finally continuing on.

“You did earn it, which is why I sent the offer through the System,” she said. “Now be quiet and do not interrupt me.”

Her eyes flashed in their sockets for an instant and a chilling wave of pressure choked the room around me. I could tell it was barely a twitch, maybe just a flicker, but it still felt as though she could kill me outright with that bit of power alone.

I gulped.

Could I have flipped my mental switch and ignored her power display entirely, maybe. I doubted it, but maybe. But despite this, I decided not to press my luck, and simply accepted the feeling of weakness that flooded my mind.

Compared to this woman… I was a speck.

“Good, you might do well after all.”

Again, I stayed silent and waited, feeling that was what she wanted me to do, as well as what my survival instincts were telling me to be the best way to keep my squishy mortal soul well within my squishy mortal body.

“I can assume you have many questions rattling around in that mind of yours. What is happening and why? What is this System? Am I a God? Are there other Gods? What are the Dungeons? Etc.. etc…” She said this almost with a hint of scorn in her tone, as if she had heard such things a billion times before and was exhausted even from the mere memory of them.

As the entity of Death, I could only imagine the number of questions she was subjected to in her day-to-day “job” as it were. Adding all the events of the last few days on top of that… yeah I could get why she was a bit jaded.

“Push those queries to the side.” She waved a hand dismissively. “I wouldn’t answer them even should the System allow me to share such information. Not now at least, you are not ready, and there are more pressing matters for you in any case.”

I simply nodded. Even though I did have such questions, the fact she seemed unwilling, or even unable, to answer was just as interesting. If I truly was her disciple, and she my sponsor, I would think she’d want me to be powerful, prepared, ready. That is what I would assume at the very least.

But, we all know about people who make assumptions. They die horrible and bloodcurdling deaths at the hands of grimy little fucking goblins.

So I kept my mouth shut, and waited.

She peered at me with her dark eyes before the corner of her mouth rose into a tiny hint of a smile.

“Good, good.” Her hands folded in front of her, and the scythe that she appeared with, remained upright beside her, as if rooted directly into the ground. A macabre and sick flag planted in the space of reality I didn’t quite understand.

“You will get answers to all of that, and more, eventually. You, and your planet as a whole, are not ready for them.”

My mind quickly flashed to the System notification that went out to all of humanity, the declaration of Earth being in a preparation phase of some kind. And, the year long timer that went along with it.

“But, there are things you need to be taught, things you must learn. Such as how to utilize this space in which you stand currently. The Pre-Entry room of the dungeons. Normally, you may spend any amount of time you wish in a Pre-Entry area… as long as you spend the necessary credits to stay inside.” She gestured to the table and the flickering light that hovered above it. “Luckily for you, I am here. I have halted time in this area to allow you not to worry your little mortal mind about such silly things.”

“You, halted time?” It came out as a question, but I meant it more as a statement of awe. She seemed to understand this and simply ignored me.

“As your Sponsor, I will guide you with your first purchases. The System shop is a bit overwhelming, when you first use it.”

She gestured for me to come stand at the stone table and I followed without complaint, my eyes still focused on her as I moved. Her form looked so real, almost tangible. The scythe, still standing of its own accord, looked as if it had actual weight to it, the blade gleaming in the soft sourceless light of the room.

“Simply place your hand on the pedestal.”

My eyes finally moved from her to the strange glowing light, finding it was actually a small screen, similar to the ones the System showed when I brought up my status. Only this one was a bright yellow, almost white, instead of a soft blue.

Both anxiety and excitement coursed through me as I thought about the use of this interface. The presence of Death herself being there to guide me meant it could be dangerous. Yet, the idea of having access to a universal shop of magical items, weapons, and armor or scrolls, maybe even magic tomes. It was tantalizing to say the least.

I was Augustus staring directly into the chocolate river, daring myself to drink.

“Just do it already child, you won’t get hurt by it,” Death said over my shoulder, causing me to flinch ever so slightly.

It appeared that in additional cynical habits, an immortal cosmic entity could get bored, impatient. Which was once more interesting to me, as I would have thought that something as vast and inevitable as Death would have long become emotionally numb, like a rich absent father. Or, the son of that same, rich absent father.

I placed my hand on the table and mentally nudged the interface. It opened up, unfolding in front of me like the opening of theater curtains just before a grand performance.

Then it came barreling at me like truck-kun attempting to take me on an adventure.

Lists and lists of items, tabs filled with categories, categories filled with tabs, all of them cascaded in front of my eyes. It was endless, millions and millions of items and options showed themselves to me.

Weapons, armor, potions, trinkets and so much more. I saw buildings, titles, skills, class options, even what looked like body modifications of some sort. Things that were impossible to think of just days ago now presenting themselves as if it were the most mundane of menus at high class French restaurants. The kind favored by customers that wore lavish furs, and sat about smelling their own farts for entertainment.

“You can ignore the vast majority of these options. Not only can you not afford them, they would be useless to you and what we will hope to accomplish.” Lady Death, as I had come to call her in my mind, said as I looked through the interface.

“What do we hope to accomplish?” I asked, my eyes still focused on the display.

“For my primary job not to interfere with my duty as sponsor.” She said simply, as if stating they were planning to clean the dishes, or do the laundry.

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I thought about her meaning, and found that her goals aligned perfectly with my own. I didn’t want to die, no fucking shit.

“Mentally remove options, the shop will understand your desire and follow suit.”

I did as I was told, mentally “clicking” closed tabs and categories as quickly as a teenager would at the computer after being surprised by a parent entering their room without knocking first.

As I did so, one tab did catch my eye, and before closing it I brought it up to the forefront to see some of its contents.

[Materials:
Base Elements –

Compounds –

Mana Based Substances –

Energy Types –

…]

The tabs went on and I clicked [Base elements] to see a new list unfurl in my sight. I recognized almost all the names in front of me.

[Hydrogen – 1gram – .005 Copper Credits

Helium – 1gram – .005 Copper Credits

Lithium – 1gram – .002 Copper Credits