Chapter 234 – Just Kidding

Chapter 234 – Just Kidding

 

That went better than expected.

A rhythmic tapping sounded from the kitchen. Kai sat on the couch, trying to ignore the gaze fixed on him. “I’m not going to disappear if you blink.”

“Sorry, I had a weird day…” Flynn turned to his minced onion. “It’s still strange seeing you here, in my house.”

“All good. I can’t fault you after vanishing into the Hidden Sanctuary for two years.” He had been such a fool to think surviving in an unknown realm would be just another challenge. Zervathi had pressured him into an impossible decision, but it was his arrogance that made him readily accept.

Kai had yet to decide whether he regretted the decision. He wasn’t blind to the upsides, though he would not return even for all the gold in the Republic.

His mind had already connected to the sword in his spatial closet when he caught himself. Caressing a blade for reassurance wouldn’t scream mentally stable.

I’m safe here.

No beast would attack him in the living room. For the first time in two years, Hallowed Intuition was eerily silent. Even in case of attack, the clutter of enchantments around the house would give him ample time to respond. Kai realized the chopping had stopped and Flynn was gawking at him again.

What did I do now? Why do people keep staring?

“You mean you were trapped in a lesser dimension?”

“Oh, that. Yes.” Kai let his arm hang over the back of the couch. “Though it’s better if you don’t go around telling people. The Republic was very touchy about the subject when I left. Also, I think you’re burning something.” He pointed to the smoke rising from the pan.

Flynn snapped back to turn off the stove, muttering something under his breath. “A pocket dimension… I thought of it, but it seemed too far-fetched to be true. Is that why they’ve been crowding around the Vastaire ruins? You now need special permission to visit any of the sites.”

“Probably. That’s where the passages between the realms were built, though Zervathi isn’t going to let anyone through until he recovers his power.”

“Zervathi?”

“The mighty god of the Hidden Sanctuary and annoying stuff.” Kai rolled his eyes with a dramatic voice. “A buzzing fairy who uses the fact he can’t lie to trick you into terrible deals.”

“You’re not joking?” Flynn completely gave up on the stove to stare at him.

“Why would I? He’s nothing special really, not for at least another couple centuries. He lost most of his power during his torturous imprisonment. He can never shut up about it.”

Flynn warily looked around him as if he expected to be smited. “I don’t think you should speak like that about a god. What if he hears you?”

“Hmm… why don’t we ask him? He’s listening right now. Say hi to the old snooper.” Kai waved a hand through his air. Instead of chuckling, Flynn went two shades paler, leaning against the kitchen counter for balance. “Hey, I was just kidding. I can tell when he’s looking since he blessed me.”

“Kai. Why don’t you go take a shower while I try to salvage our dinner? We can talk after we eat.” He pointed to a corridor with a strained smile. “It’s the first door on the right. You can use the clean towels on the shelf.”

“Okay.”

Hmm… I thought my joke was funny. Do I need to work on my humor too?

Apparently, talking to himself, beasts and minor divinities wasn’t enough to stave off the rust. The people on the streets had been plain rude, but he couldn’t tell what he had done wrong with Flynn.

Were social interactions always so hard? I should have kept Improvisation. Kai sighed.

He had been forced to abandon the skill for Space Magic during his first month. By the time he advanced to Yellow, there had been too many alluring options to pick a skill that wouldn’t help him survive or escape.

I just need a little training. Thankfully, I didn’t meet my family first. What am I even going to tell them?

Despite the thousands of reunions he had played out in his head, the thought of facing his mother and sisters filled him with fright. He’d much rather face a chasm crawler in close combat than meet his mom’s gaze.

Perhaps I should ask Flynn… He’s always been good at dealing with people.

No point in worrying now. Getting lost in his head had almost gotten him killed before he learned to focus on the present. The bathroom was small and clean. Glossy white tiles painted in blue geometric patterns, a fluffy carpet with a dancing crab, and most important of all, a shower installed over the tub.

“Spirits be blessed.” Kai drew a curtain over the small window and shed the cheap clothes bought in Eastwin.

The runework was simple and solid, with an actual heating enchantment in place. He couldn’t remember the last time he showered. Water Magic was functional to keep him clean, but it wasn’t relaxing.

Kai left his sea serpent sword leaning against the tub and abandoned himself to the flowing warm water. He scrubbed his body with a piece of scented soap, closing the plug to lie down. Makeshift basins and improvised fire runes couldn’t replace the real thing. And not fearing an ambush in the back of his mind helped too.

It’ll be fine.

He wished he was still small enough to let the warm water submerge him, but had to settle for his head while his legs dangled over the edge.

Most of the teens I saw weren’t taller than me. It’s him who’s grown abnormally tall…

A double knock woke him from his trance. “Are you okay in there? Did you find everything you need?”

“I’m good!” Kai stood upright, splashing water all around. He hurried to close the faucet, the water had already built up to the edge of the tub.

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“You aren’t flooding my bathroom, right…?”

“No!” He opened the plug with his toe, directing all the water with a flick of his wrist. “Your crabby carpet is perfectly dry.”

“It was a gift.” Flynn sounded slightly defensive.

“They have good taste.” It was definitely a statement.

“Thanks… Dinner’s almost ready.”

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Every drop of water flowed off him into the tub as Kai stepped onto the dancing crab. No point wasting a towel.

Smelling his clothes, he cast a sphere of soapy water and threw them in. His high Perception made scents difficult to ignore, especially on himself. It wasn’t the same as a proper wash, but he had only worn them for a couple of days.

He scrubbed a hand through his messy hair and looked into the mirror. His reflection peered back with the sharp clarity a bowl of water couldn’t match.

Tanned skin and locks bleached by the strange sunstar of the Hidden Sanctuary. A diet of mostly beast meat had turned him into a slightly buff teenager. He truly didn’t understand why people kept staring. Sure, he had a few pale scars, but most were hidden underneath his shirt.

His pale facial hair remained in that awkward limbo between childhood and adulthood. On a whim, he decided to shave it off with a blade of water. He had worried it would become too much of a bother to take care of when he was trapped.

Water is definitely the most versatile element.

Most natives in the archipelago didn’t grow a full beard. He didn’t remember his dad doing so either, though that might have been a choice. Minor details like that kept slipping his memories.

Kai retrieved his clothes. He was about to walk out when he noticed a casket concealed beneath the bathroom tiles. The runes easily unraveled under his gaze. He had almost missed it amidst the random assortment of enchantments.

That’s quite a bit of gold. He must be doing well for himself.

Kai strolled into the living room. The table had already been set with two plates of roasted vegetables and fish in a purple sauce. Flynn was twirling a knife between his fingers and staring at the kitchen cupboard with a deep frown.

“Welcome back to civilization.” He turned to give him a once-over. “I had less stored than I remembered. It’s not my finest creation, but it should be edible.”

“It looks great.” After being forced to eat raw meat and gnarly tubers, anything cooked was a win in his book. The zesty sauce made him moan in appreciation. “You’ve gotten better.”

“It’s one of my skilless talents.” Flynn gave him a long look before glancing behind him. “Wait to try something actually decent…”