61 – Inner Circle

“What do you need?” Anders looked sincere, but Mia’s knowing look in the background almost made me laugh. I could tell she was barely stopping herself from rolling her eyes at me.

“It’s very simple, really. I told you how I survive on blood. And I’m still starving.”

The obvious conclusion was obvious, based on the look of realization on Anders’ face. “Ooh.”

“Now, much as I would love to just go over there and bite you, we all agree that’s not good for your health. My self-control is a bit… lacking when I’m this famished. So, let’s avoid any avoidable accidents, yes?”

He gulped nervously. “I understand.”

“Just to be clear. You are allowed to reject requests like this. Of course, I’d prefer you not to, but I won’t begrudge you not wanting to bleed yourself. Never mind any more direct feeding on my part. I can just assure you that I can make the process entirely painless, with no wound remaining after the fact. Now, please decide.”

After just a moment of hesitation, Anders proved I’d picked well. “I’ll help you. How is this going to go?”

I walked him through the process, first wetting his wrist with some of my saliva – not directly with my mouth, that was too great a temptation to risk – and then placing a small cut. Once my cup was full, I licked his wound away. A bit less slowly than with Mia, since I wanted to drink the waiting cup.

Hmm, maybe that can work as an incentive for my hunger-addled brain? I’ll have to test it some more. Though that’s hard to do safely.

Anders found the whole thing slightly surreal, not helped in this impression by the promise of painlessness coming true. “That feels so weird, like my skin went to sleep. It really didn’t hurt.” He rubbed his healed wrist. “Getting licked is a bit weird.”

“One of the several beneficial changes my new form provides is this saliva. Which is weird to think about, I agree.” I sipped this portion of blood slowly, prolonging the enjoyment. And working my self-control at the same time. While I was less outright starving than before Mia’s donation, it still felt like my stomach was trying to eat me alive.

This second cup of blood stilled that sensation some. Afterwards, I was hungry, but no longer quite so close to losing my rationality as I’d been.

“Ah, that was refreshing.” I smacked my lips. “Though I’ll definitely need some more. Either of you up for another ‘donation’? I’d appreciate it.”

“I’d rather not,” Mia said. She looked a bit uncomfortable already. “Losing too much blood around you is dangerous when you might need it urgently some other time. Aside from blood loss itself being bad.”

“I’m fine to give some more, I think. I still feel fine.” Anders was more generous, or less worried. Either way, I appreciated his offering, drinking another cup full.

“You need to recover from this for a while. Drink a lot of water and eat some meaty foods. If you feel dizzy any time soon, sit or lie down immediately. And thank you.”

Anders just nodded at my instructions. I continued.

“There are some things you should know now that you’re one of my confidants. First, a possible solution to my need for blood, in a sense.” I grinned, revealing my teeth. My fangs had obeyed my will and retracted properly by now.

“There is a spy among the manor staff. You might know her, her name is Margret.” Anders’ face did indeed light up in recognition. And a mix of worry and indignation.

“How dare she! What shall I do about her?”

“There is no need for you to act. The reason I told you like this is that I have already uncovered her. She is now bound to my will. An enemy spy on my side is more valuable alive than dead. Especially if she can provide me with a source of food.”

The guard nodded uncertainly. He wasn’t quite satisfied with me leaving Margret be, but accepted my decree on the matter, nonetheless.

“Speaking of – Mia, how did her letter delivery go?” Since I had been unconscious nearly the whole past week, I couldn’t check on my little double agent.

“As far as I know, everything went well. There was a lone traveling merchant in town who left soon afterwards. Nothing all too unusual, aside from the risk of being alone on the road, so no one would have noticed if we weren’t paying close attention.”

“Good. I’ll have you bring her over in a moment. Before that though, there is an important matter I feel I should share with you, Anders. It might be smarter not to, but one thing I promised to Mia and now includes you as well is this – I will do my best not to lie to you. There might be secrets I cannot reveal, but keeping important things from you, especially those with direct effects, goes against the point of a confidant.”

By the look on her face, Mia had an idea what I was about to say. She looked both relieved and slightly worried.

“One of the perks granted to me by my new nature is the ability to form bonds with another being by having them ingest my blood. It’s how I bound my familiars, whom you will get more familiar with soon.” I grinned a bit at my wordplay. “I have also bound the spy I mentioned, Margret, in this way.”

I met Anders’ eyes. Already, there was a hint of realization as to what I’d say next.

“The truth is, Anders, that I also formed such a bond with you.”

“When-? Oh. The wine, wasn’t it?” Clearly, this man wasn’t stupid, either. Good. His feelings on the matter were very mixed, but he let me finish my explanation.

“Indeed, the wine. This bond allows me to do two things. Well more, technically, but some I can do in a different way too. First, most benign, I can feel the direction and approximate distance you are in. This is no big deal, really, since I can already hear every heartbeat in this building if I focus.

“More importantly, I can communicate mentally through the bond.” ‘Like so’, I demonstrated, causing Anders to flinch. “As part of that ability, I can also read any bonded person or creature’s mind.” This really made him pale. “Yes, even that.”

“I don’t make much of a habit of this, since it is distracting and takes some concentration. Not to mention the horrible invasion of privacy it is. However, I can easily tell your emotional state from a mere ‘glance’. I won’t deny it, this is one of the reasons I trust you as much as I do. Someone speaking or acting in a certain way is one thing, especially after they were put in a precarious position like yours. How they truly think and feel is important to determine their character.”

How Anders thought and felt about this revelation was… surprisingly rational. Oh, he wasn’t fond of the idea in the slightest. But it wasn’t as serious a problem as I would have had, were our situations reversed.

“Other things the bond does include fostering a sense of familiarity between us. This isn’t very strong, as far as I can tell, but it is there. It might be part of why you accepted my offer. I can also, with an effort of will, force those blood bonded to obey me. However, this is far from subtle. Also, I have a significantly better option available to me when it comes to that, which I will explain more later. Suffice it to say, I have never forced my will on you in this way.

“Now, as to why I tell you this. Aside from simple honesty, of course. Just as I offered you the choice whether to join my inner circle, I likewise offer you the choice whether you want me to remove this bond. A factor to take into consideration – should you choose to keep the bond, it is possible to learn to suppress the connection through your will. That way, I couldn’t simply read your mind as I wish.

“Nothing is perfect, of course. When I tested this before, it was possible for me to overwhelm a block like that – though it wasn’t a very well-formed one – with effort. However, the benefits of retaining the bond shouldn’t be dismissed out of hand. For one, silent communication is useful in many situations. Also, the sharing of thoughts and emotions can allow me to not only know your sincerity, but I can also make you feel mine in turn.”

I demonstrated once again, conveying how I genuinely meant my offer, along with my wish he’d not have me remove the bond. Which was in turn accompanied by the assurance that I still would, if he wanted. Also, my regret over the steps I had taken to ensure my own safety in the precarious situation I’d been in. This last part was uncomfortably performative, I noticed, but didn’t transmit. Deep down, I didn’t regret it, to some shame.

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As I expected, he was a bit overwhelmed by the situation and asked for some time to think. I granted it to him, including sealing myself off from his mind so I couldn’t listen in. The temptation to do it was there, but I quashed it.

After a minute or two, Anders looked up at me. “Is Mia–?” His eyes flicked to the acting steward, who’d been watching this conversation with interest. She was obviously relieved he was taking this so well. And that I gave him the same choice, probably.

“Are you… bound like this?” Anders completed his question, addressing Mia instead of me.

“I am not. Lord Steelheart did tell me about all this and gave me a similar choice to yours. I was the first person he tested this bond on, just that he asked my permission first.” She sent a withering glare my way, though it quickly lost its heat. “That said, I can understand why he did it. That time was… hectic, so not using a tool this powerful would have been foolish.”

“If it makes your decision easier,” I interjected, “even if you decide to keep the bond, I can still remove it later, if you ever change your mind. There are other potential benefits I haven’t mentioned yet, since I’m not yet sure how they work exactly. Short version, my main two familiars are both significantly enhanced compared to a normal bat or rat, which is tied to the bond. Not that I can promise it will work for you.”

That first part did obviously help. The second one might have as well, but not visible on his face. With our link suppressed, I could only rely on good old observation to gauge his reaction.

Finally, after another few minutes of consideration, Anders made up his mind. Taking a steadying breath, he addressed me.

“I will keep the bond, at least for a while. I would appreciate it if you taught me this blocking thing you mentioned, Lord Steelheart. And I honestly don’t begrudge you the steps you took. Not much anyway. I think the benefits outweigh the problems right now.”