Chapter 22: A Stupid Hero.

I woke to a pain I did not recognize. The pain came from somewhere deep inside of me, from my mana core. Every breath I drew pulled at it, and the core flinched from the pulling. I tried to draw in ambient mana. I had been doing this since my first day in this world. The mana touched the walls of my core and the core recoiled. It sent a throb that started from my chest and emanated outwards, even to my feet.

This had never happened before, in my old life. Then again, my boundless mana had never emptied before either. Something cold settled in the pit of my stomach. It was not pain. I refused to name it.

“It’s called burnout, though maybe they call it something else now. You’ll feel better come morning, after you sleep again.” The voice came from my right. I turned my head, and the motion alone made the hollow in my chest clench. Ash sat on a wooden stool beside the bed. She was sitting upright with her hands resting on her knees, and her blue eyes were steady on me.

“This is what happens when you push past empty and keep going,” she continued. “Any mage who trained seriously would know the feeling.” She stared at me, as if I were an idiot. “Surely you expected this much, at least.”

I stared at her. “How long have you been sitting there?” I asked.

“An hour.”

“Why?”

“I knew you’d wake from all the tossing and turning,” Ash said simply. “So I waited.”

I did not say anything. I knew that Heroes were fools, but this went beyond even my estimations. Ash held out a cup of water. I stared at it, and then took it without protest. My throat was dry, as it happened. Taking the water still felt like a concession. The water was cool. I handed her back the cup. Then I reached for the egg at my side. It was there, nestled behind me now. I shifted enough to touch it. Its pulse was slow and steady beneath my fingers. I checked it. It was fine.

“You kept reaching for it in your sleep,” Ash said. She was not smiling, though her voice suggested she might have liked to.

“I did no such thing.”

“You did. I have been watching, remember?”

I did not dignify this with a response. I tried to sit up. The hollow in my chest seized, and my arms refused to bear my weight. The world tilted for half a breath before a hand found my back.

“Careful,” Ash was there, her palm pressed flat between my shoulder blades, steady. And warm. She eased me upright though I had not asked. My spine found the wall behind the bed and I leaned against it.

A Demon Queen did not require assistance sitting. This was beneath me. I should have swatted the hand away and risen on my own power. Her hand stayed a moment longer than the act required. I noticed this. I filed it into the now archive, which would someday grow large enough to warrant its own library. Ash offered me more water. I drank. She sat back down on the stool.

The room was dark, save for the dimming lantern. I did not say anything at all for some time. I moved the egg on top of me and held it. Then, I focused on trying to gently draw in ambient mana. Perhaps it was unwise, but the pain was not as bad as it had been when I’d just woken up. I might just be well again by the time morning came.

“He’s awake,” Ash said. I lost my focus. I knew who she meant. I looked at the far wall. “I went back,” she continued. “After you…after we came back I mean. I was going to leave firewood by their door.” She paused. “The door was open.” I said nothing. “He was sitting up, holding his mother’s hand. Sara was next to him and she was talking darn fast. Really fast. I didn’t understand half of it, I don’t think he understood any of it.” Ash’s voice had gone quiet. “But he was smiling.”

The wall was very interesting. There were cracks in it I had not noticed before. I counted them. “There’s a mark on his arm now,” Ash said. “A yellow Spark. I didn’t see it when you first…did what you did.”

This was new, I had been too…distracted at the time to notice. I seized on this. “A Spark?” I repeated. “And here I thought he had been rejected by the System.”

“He had been.”

“I did not think I could have done such a thing for him. Save him, yes, but not this. This might mean quite a few things for my powers. I had thought them just a type of Concept Ma-”

“Lily.” I stopped. Ash was looking at me. “He’s going to be fine,” she said.

I held her gaze for a moment too long. I had not asked. I looked back at the egg and adjusted it, though it did not need adjusting. “Of course he is,” I said. “I saw to him.”

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The silence returned. I let it sit for as long as I could bear, which was less long than it should have been. The question had been sitting inside me for days. I did not know how to ask it. I had demanded answers from Kings, and yet this was harder by far. I did not know why it came to me now, but it did.

“The night after the Inking,” I began. The words came out stiff. “I came to the door. You were…” I stopped and tried again. “I heard you weep.” Ash did not flinch. Her hands went still on her knees, and that was all. She did not look away from me either. “Why?” I asked. It was the wrong way to ask, I was sure of it. It was also the only way I knew. The only way I’d barely learned.

Ash was quiet for a time. When she answered, her voice was simple. “It was because of Marin.”

I frowned. “The boy?”