4. The Nth Morning

Nobody moved. Nobody wanted to be first. Five years of friendship to come crashing down.

Finally, Chen Wei stood. “I need to go… Security detail will notice I’ve not returned.”

“Yeah.” Alexei checked his watch. “I should… yeah.” Yet he didn’t move.

Diana rose following Chen Wei. She looked at each of us one more time. “Thank you. For everything. For letting me pretend.”

“It wasn’t pretend,” I said. “Not for us.”

Her lips curled into a smile, something I realised I had never seen before. Always distant, always… She didn’t need to say anything. Her eyes said it all.

Chen Wei left first. She began to climb down the observation tower with a practised fluidity. My eyes followed her down; she didn’t look back.

Diana followed, quiet and careful, already fading. She paused halfway down and looked up. Her eyes met Alexei’s. I watched the moment between the two.

–

Alexei and I sat there for a little while afterwards. I’d have to be home soon, too, but I didn’t care to move. A comfortable silence ensued as we sat there, still processing what had just happened. What was going to happen?

“So,” he said. “This is it.”

“Yeah.”

“We had a good run, right?”

“The best.”

He grinned. That practised grin again… “See you on the other side, brother.”

“See you soon, brother.” He climbed down, leaving me alone on the platform.

I sat as the sun rose, warming my face. The city hummed below. Shuttles, morning shifts, life going on like nothing changed.

In a few hours, we’d all know exactly where we stood. What we were worth. What paths we’d walk and that we’d likely walk them alone. The hope of matching ranks. The hope of ending up in the same units. We didn’t even dare to speak aloud. Some hopes were better left unvoiced.

I stood, taking one last look at the Nest. Our sanctuary. Our refuge. Our home.

Dawn had come, and tomorrow was here.

–

The walk home took fifteen minutes through quiet, pre-dawn streets. Pale lights reflected off glass townhouses and neat greenery. Only the hum of shuttles and a few footsteps broke the stillness. The time it took was enough to put my story together.

I checked my commlink. 0645. Both Mother and Father would be awake, the house stirring with Tiernan’s morning routine.

Shit…

Getting a move on, I began a quick jog, just fast enough to work up a sweat but just slow enough to be sustainable for the whole trip. I felt a little lightheaded from the fatigue of an all-nighter, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. Prep-Academy had prepared us for such scenarios; I’d pulled countless nights without rest.

Three blocks from home, I stopped at a water fountain. I splashed my face, neck, and scalp, then ran my fingers through my hair to mess it up.

I needed to look like I’d been running, not like I’d been sitting on a tower watching everything fall apart. I started jogging again, heading home.

Two blocks out, I transitioned from a jog to a sprint. Sweat poured, my heart pounded. I let my breath come harder than it needed to.

One block out, I rehearsed my story.

“I couldn’t sleep, was too nervous. Went for a run to clear my head. Lost track of time. The route I took? Familiar streets, nothing suspicious.” I reasoned. The lie needed to be 80% truth. That’s what made it stick, or so they taught us.

I rounded the corner and slowed to a walk. I stood straight, hands behind my head, selling the exhaustion.

Deep breath. I headed for the door.

The key turned silently. I stepped inside, boots hitting just loud enough to announce my presence.

“Marcus?” Mother called from the kitchen. Concerned, not angry. Good.

“Yeah, it’s me.” I kept my breathing slightly elevated. “Went for a run. Couldn’t sleep.”

She appeared in the hallway. Took in my appearance: a soaked shirt, flushed face, messy hair. Her expression softened. “You should have left a note. I was worried.”

“Sorry. I just… needed to clear my head before today.”

She studied me for a moment. I held her gaze, kept my breathing laboured. Let the partial truth show in my eyes; I had needed to clear my head. I was nervous about today.

Finally, she nodded. “Go shower. Breakfast in an hour.”

“Thanks, Mother.”

I headed for the stairs, careful not to move too quickly or too slowly.

–

As I reached my room, I allowed myself a small exhale, closing the door behind me. I leaned against it. A moment of respite. With the distraction gone and the lie behind me, I was left alone to face the weight of what came next; my stomach twisted.

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Dress clothes were already laid out on my bed. Mother must have done it while I was gone. Navy blue, excessive and pressed to perfection.

Five hours.

I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom. The shower was already turned to cold. I needed to wash off the sweat from the ‘run’ and to ‘cool down’, selling the story even to myself.

The icy water hit like a shock. Good. I needed that. I scrubbed at my skin and hair, watching the night wash down the drain. The Nest. The goodbyes. The promises we’d made, knowing they’d break. The water ran clear, but I kept scrubbing.

Four and a half hours.

I dried off mechanically as I walked back into my room. My eyes drifted to the clothes on my bed. They looked expensive. Important. Like they belonged to someone who mattered.

The fabric felt wrong, too stiff, too formal. Once finished, I looked at myself in the mirror. Same face as yesterday. Same fearful eyes. Same copper taste in my mouth.

My commlink buzzed. A message in the group chat. Bile rose in my throat, and I sucked in a deep breath. I didn’t open it.

Four hours.

“Marcus!” Mother’s voice drifted up the stairs. “Breakfast!”

I couldn’t even stomach the idea of food. I looked at my reflection one more time, trying to find something resembling confidence. All I could find was fear dressed in expensive clothes.

I left the datapad under my pillow, grabbed my commlink, and headed for the door.