The Path of Ascension Chapter 470

Chapter 470

 

Tim gasped as he came up for air and consciousness flooded back to him.

Spluttering, he found himself in a tub full of ice, melted to the point it felt like slush.

The air was somehow colder than the water, but as Tim tried to pull himself out, he quickly discovered whatever burst of strength had pulled him out of his fugue had been as ephemeral as his memory.

Concentrating as hard as he could, he commanded his hand to grab the edge of the tub, but his hands were too cold to respond and he felt himself slipping back into the water’s icy embrace.

His eyes seemed to be the only thing that worked, and he frantically searched the room hoping to see someone, anyone, who might be able to save him.

He found no one, nor anything conveniently within reach.

The door was shut, but the edges were ink dark, which told him nothing about where he was.

He was unable to fully concentrate through the fog of coming back into consciousness, but he knew it wouldn’t last.

Knowing he needed to get out of the water, Tim focused and prepared himself.

In his mind, he forcefully grabbed the edge of the tub and hauled himself out, roaring to the world that he was undefeatable.

Reality was far more cruel.

Hands unable to follow orders, he inefficiently flailed about, hoping to use the crook of his arm to keep his head above water. His efforts came to naught and the sounds of his gasps were replaced by the calming sounds of water moving around him.

No longer being a mortal, Tim could hold his breath for hours. But if the past with his spotty memory was any indication, he’d drown before he came to.

With nothing else to do as he laid in the tub full of ice water, he thought.

He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten here, or where here even was, but he also didn’t think it mattered.

He was spiraling.

He knew it.

Normal, healthy people didn’t wake up in tubs full of ice before they drowned themselves.

Tim sort of remembered caring about such things once upon a time, but like his current location, he was cold.

What was the point?

Why should he bother?

He didn’t have an answer, but instead of bothering him, Tim felt reinvigorated for the first time since his Concept had shattered.

He couldn’t be the person everyone wanted him to be.

He wanted to say he didn’t have to, but that was wrong.

He felt compelled to live up to those expectations and had tried to do so, but his paths forward were always full of shortcuts.

Laying in the ice with only the company of the water slowly settling down from his earlier movements, Tim hated himself for getting himself into this situation, but that was nothing new. Those feelings of self loathing were well-trodden paths.

Sadly, dragging himself out of his negative mentality was just as difficult as dragging himself out of the tub.

He stared upward, where the flickering light rune indicated where the lip of the tub was. Finding a reason to push forward felt impossible, but as the world started to dim, as the air in his lungs started to fail, Tim felt an instinctive panic start to well up, trying to drive him to move.

The problem was he had nothing left to give.

As his time ticked down, Tim found himself once more looking for alternative exits, such as emptying the tub of its water. However his numb feet were no more capable of finding and triggering the release as his hands were of pulling him out of the water. Laying in the cold ice would suck as it melted, but he’d be able to heal any frostbite with a little work at the alchemy cauldron so long as he got to breathe.

The thought almost made him laugh, but Tim didn’t have the air to spare. He was nothing more than a stew in a cauldron.

Deep down, Tim asked himself if he wanted to be better. He was still looking for an easy escape even now.

Some days, when he acted like this, it felt like the answer was no. But he did. He wanted to be better. Or he thought he did.

Seeing the lip of the tub, he knew he needed to prove that was true here and now, and use that as a turning point in his life.

Easier said than done. Tim didn’t want to care about what others thought of him. He just wanted to be himself.

Tim nearly laughed as he corrected himself. No he didn’t want to be himself. The self of ‘now’ wasn’t someone he liked.

Trying to picture who he should aim for, Tim cycled through the obvious answers like the Ascenders, the Emperor, the Royals, his friends and teacher, even movie stars. However none of them felt right.

He no longer wanted to be someone else.

Tim just wanted to be out of this tub.

Once more catching himself as he thought about his own assumptions, he corrected his thoughts. He wanted to be himself. He only wished for that person to be someone other people could also look up to.

That was the problem.

Slowly drowning, Tim finally, truly realized why his Concept had shattered. The how was just him taking yet another shortcut, but the why was because of his own self loathing reaching a critical point upon, once more, reaching a goal the ‘wrong’ way.

While he knew it wasn’t inherently wrong, and despite wanting to be like everyone else, Tim didn’t particularly care for the end goal. Yes, he liked the rush of reaching his goal, of succeeding and earning recognition for doing well. Now, laying there in the tub, he realized what he actually enjoyed was the journey itself and trying to fit what he believed were others’ expectations of him had torn him apart from the inside.

Tim knew he was far from perfect, but that wasn’t what he wanted any more. Such a goal would only lead to more shortcuts.

He wasn’t strong enough to do it on his own, but so long as he could enshrine the proper, healthy, idea into his Concept, he could get himself out of this situation and prevent it from happening again.

His first idea was to make his Image of himself but better in the next moment than the one before. An Image of him that could always drive him towards selfimprovement, but he quickly saw the flaw in that idea.

He had no desire to start this process over again, if another poorly worded Concept exacerbated his already-existing issues.

Instead of thinking about the combination of words that would make the strongest Concept, Tim asked himself what he wanted.

To his surprise, that simplified the situation significantly. Tim only really wanted to be slightly better than he was today. It almost felt too simple, but it felt right.

Small improvements.

Tim could take breaks. He was allowed to, it wasn’t a personal failing that he needed to rest more than others seemed to. The only place the competition he kept with everyone else existed was in his own head.

Unbeknownst to him, the scattered remnants of his Concept started to piece themselves together, fragment by fragment. Almost identical, but much slower than the original construction, his Concept rebuilt itself.

Feeling the process as it crossed the one third mark, Tim threw most of his second guessing to the wind and started assisting the process.

With his conscious effort, it only took moments for his Concept to form.

It wasn’t a pretty Image.

It was him.

Tim, naked and stretched out in a tub full of ice, but that was when things diverged like a painting being doused in water until it reformed.

The Image Tim opened his eyes and met Tim’s.

A sense of vertigo washed through Tim as their gazes locked together that made him watch to retch.

When the Image settled there were no world shaking differences, Tim was still himself but he’d cut his hair and shaved.

A small single improvement that Tim wanted to emulate. He didn’t have to, he could do something else so long as he improved himself in some way, but he wanted to clean himself of these past years as much as he did wanted to get out of the tub.

Even though it was still freshly born, Tim felt the Concept perfectly resonating with him. He almost felt like the perfect tuning fork had been struck next to him and forced him to fall into sync.

It wasn’t a bad thing. Far from it; it felt good, as if he finally felt comfortable in his own skin for the first time in decades. But he was still drowning in the tub full of ice.

Once more, Tim concentrated on his arm, and with one burst of energy, he threw it up and over the edge.

The limb was so cold, it almost felt as if it was someone else’s, but he felt as if his thumb got caught on the rim for a moment.

Gathering his energy for a second time was almost easier than it had been the first, and he managed to force his arm up and over so his arm dangled over the edge.

Finally having proper leverage, Tim dragged himself out of the ice water and into the even colder air, taking in deep lungfuls rejoicing even as it hurt.

With the air came strength, even if not coordination.

Toppling out of the tub should have hurt, but he was so cold, he couldn’t feel anything.

He almost thought he saw a cat’s eyes as the overhead light rune flickered, but he didn’t care about anything other than being able to breathe.

Feeling the water slowly drip down his body and onto the floor, Tim forced himself to roll over and then to his knees.

It took almost an hour, with each movement taking a herculean effort, but he crawled over to the door and got his hand around the knob.

He more fell into and through the door, but he still managed to open it.

Tim expected to find himself in a ratty apartment in some rundown location, that was his last memory location, but he was in a half-decent skyrise. If the small hints scattered through the architecture and decor weren’t enough, the Tier 2 essence told Tim he was still on a pleasure world.

He had no idea which pleasure world though, as his last memories were of visiting his mother’s memorial tablet.

He hadn’t and didn’t feel bad for missing her drinking herself to death, but he hated himself for getting so involved with his own issues that he missed Garrett getting married and starting a family.

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Visiting his mother had been a convenient excuse, and was how he eventually ended up on this world and in a tub full of ice.

Taking a deep breath, Tim found it surprisingly easy not to spiral.

Crawling further into the room, he grabbed the thick comforter off the bed and pulled it around him, waiting for his breath to slowly warm himself as he let the darkness of his self-made cocoon cradle him for a few moments.

Hours later he forcefully exhaled the later half of his breath and pushed through the dull ache of the lingering cold, doing something he hadn’t done in what felt like decades.

Pausing, Tim contemplated checking the date and seeing exactly how long recreating his Domain had taken, but he pushed that off.

It was important, but not immediately so.

Instead, he checked his Talent.

The first thing he noticed were his Domain entries.

They were back, but as if mocking his previous efforts he needed to re-purchase them. However, as he inspected the readouts, he compared them to what he knew they had been the first time he unlocked them.

Beginner Concept Main Effect Strengthening (Passive Proficiency): 99/100 Proficiency — Unlock Cost: 3 Billion Credits. 1 Credit.

Beginner Concept Main Effect Efficiency (Passive Proficiency): 99/100 Proficiency — Unlock Cost: 5 Billion Credits. 1 Credit.

Beginner Concept Secondary Effect Strengthening (Proficiency Gain): 99/100 Proficiency — Unlock Cost: 30 Million Credits. 1 Credit.

Beginner Concept Secondary Effect Efficiency (Proficiency Gain): 99/100 Proficiency — Unlock Cost: 50 Million Credits. 1 Credit.

The first thing he noticed was that the effects of his Domain had flipped. With his original Concept the proficiency increase had been the primary effect, while passive proficiency had been the secondary.

Tim almost felt offended, but couldn’t muster up that much emotion quite yet.