35. Speculation

Nathanial’s eyes lingered on the golden screen. The warm wind from the meadow hardly melted the numbness in his heart as the blades of grass swayed from left to right.

[ New Vow Acknowledged. ]

[ Vow of the Last Witness Established. ]

He despised the war with every fiber of his being. Everything came at a price, but when your strength came from losing those you loved and cared about, could it really be something worth sacrificing?

Would it even be called living?

The golden screen flickered as if it were updating the information.

[ Current Vows: Vow of Enduring Burden, Vow of the Last Witness. ]

[ Vow of the Last Witness: I could not save them; I could not change their fates. But I refuse to let their lives fade into oblivion; I will remember those who fall and carry the weight of their existence until my final breath. The more I witness, the sharper I become. The more I remember, the heavier my soul grows. ]

[ Effect: Battle prediction and improved memory reinforcement. ]

[ Cost: Traumatic moments replay clearly; sleep becomes difficult. ]

[ Last Witness Threshold: 1/2 ]

He read the last line with a gut-wrenching sensation swelling in his chest. The cost of the threshold was the life of someone he cherished.

“What a cruel world…” Nathanial muttered. He stared at the messenger. “You conceal information from me, and you’re unreliable. Yet in the end, you show me a memory of my friend who died. Why? Did you intend for me to form this vow?”

The golden screen hovered there without a sound.

[ No, I cannot influence what form your vow takes. ]

[ I can only show you what may influence its creation. ]

Nathanial frowned.

[ It is merely a coincidence that you had formed a vow to honor the fallen. It could have been the opposite. ]

[ You could have formed one to claim the lives of others, but didn’t. ]

Nathanial stared at the endless blue sky and didn’t say a word. Just like Luka, he didn’t find any joy in killing others. He just wanted to live so that his family wouldn’t be drafted next. Even if the odds were impossible, and they had to fight battles where they didn’t know if they would live to see another day.

But that wasn’t enough.

Maybe if Nathanial had put more effort into training—into raising his aura somehow, then things would be different. He held out one hand, staring at his callouses and torn skin that had healed over before tightly clenching his fist.

Perhaps that was why people left flowers on graves.

Because regret was often greater than gratitude.

The only reason he even unlocked his second star was because of what John and Luka put him through. But that wouldn’t work for everyone.

It worked because the watchmen were excellent mentors and gambled on the chance that they would overcome a part of themselves or die in the process. Humankind, just like this system, could gain nothing without giving something in return.

Nathanial closed his eyes and searched within the depths of his soul, feeling the second star that was once a faint speck, brightly shimmer in the darkness.

There was no telling how vast one’s soul would be, or the depths it would reach. But if there was one thing Nathanial knew, it was that he would continue to carry the memories of those who had fallen.

For it was their sacrifice that made him who he is today.

Nathanial opened his eyes, gazing at the meadow John saw.

“Did he find peace as he passed?”

[ He did. ]

“I take it that the only reason you were able to show me this was because I unlocked my second star?”

[ That would be correct. ]

Nathanial stood perfectly still as a cool breeze swept through. Strands of his white hair fell back, and he stared off into the horizon with his hands at his sides.

“What is it you want from me?”

[ The system demands— ]

Nathanial swatted the screen. “No, I don’t care about the system. I want to know what you, the messenger, want.”

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The messenger’s screen froze. It didn’t answer right away. Instead, it held on with a blank screen as if it already knew its answer but didn’t know if it could be delivered.

[ I am a being that only exists in your world. A world that would cease to exist if you died. So, therefore, my interests besides your growth do not matter. ]

“But what if it mattered to me, and would aid me in my growth?”

[ That would be contradictory. ]

“As some would say.”

The messenger thought for a moment.

[ Very well. If you are curious, then I believe it would be pleasant to see a world where you have accomplished your goals. ]

“Even if I became a monster in the process?”

[ A monster to some, is a hero to others. ]

Nathanial faintly smiled. “Then I guess we have quite the work ahead of us.”

The world around him slowly faded to white as Nathanial engraved the last thing John saw into his memory. The golden screen hovered before him with the same words he had seen before.