Chapter 302: Patchwork

~~~

“Is this okay?”

“A little bit higher…Ah! That’s the spot!”

Liu Jin looks down as Su An relaxes on his lap, her long purple hair splayed all over. The young woman sighs in bliss and nuzzles against him while his fingers lightly scratch behind her ears.

“I am not quite sure this is right,” Liu Jin says.

“No, you’re doing it absolutely right, Boss,” Su An says, her eyes closed. A content hum leaves her throat.

“That is not what I meant,” Liu Jin says. Still, he smiles. “We’re in the middle of the second stage. It is not the best time-”

“Boss!” Su An interrupts. She turns in his lap to look at him. “A lot of things have happened! A lot of very confusing, very painful things! I need this! Besides, I let you rest your head on my lap a bunch of times in Eastern Port City. This is only fair!”

It is a solid argument, so Liu Jin allows Su An to continue relaxing. Her content sighs resume as he runs his fingers through her hair under the shade of a tree. It is a rare moment of peace.

Unfortunately, Liu Jin cannot let it go on.

“You did not have these when we began our fight,” Liu Jin says, lightly rubbing her ears. “Does it not tire you to keep them manifested?”

“The opposite,” Su Daji mumbles. “It takes time to make them appear or go away, but keeping them manifested is easy. I’d prefer to have them out all the time, but she said it would be a bad idea.”

Liu Jin hums. “She is probably right.”

“Don’t take her side, Boss,” Su An grouses. Liu Jin smiles, but his opinion does not change.

After all, just like Liu Jin’s scales, Su An’s fox ears seem to be a sign of her status as not-quite-human. Certainly, there are some differences. Liu Jin needed to work a lot on keeping his scales from manifesting whenever he used too much Qi, while Su An seems to be able to lock them away more completely. Regardless, it could cause some trouble if it became widely known either of them had demonic characteristics.

No… That’s still not the main issue.

“I…” Liu Jin vacillates for a moment but pushes on. “When Eastern Port City fell, I thought you were dead. When I learned of Daji’s existence, I was confused. When I saw the state of your soul, I despaired. Now, you are back, and I can only feel relief.”

Su An’s body goes very still.

“Boss, you are saying good things, but the way you are saying them worries me,” she says.

“I have to ask,” Liu Jin says, resigned.

“Do you really need to–”

“Are you my Su An?” Liu Jin cuts her.

Silence answers him.

“Are you?” Liu Jin repeats.

She squirms in his lap, avoiding his gaze. His hand leaves her head. Her body is so close to his, yet Liu Jin feels not one bit of warmth, just a cold pit forming in his stomach as the silence stretches and the pressure mounts.

“I…Daji is the stronger name,” she says at last. Her voice is a barely audible whisper, yet Liu Jin hears it boom in his ears. “I am sorry, Boss.”

He looks down at her, but she still refuses to look back, her long purple hair hiding her face. Liu Jin sighs and leans against the tree behind them, lightly knocking the back of his head against the trunk.

“What does that mean?” He asks. “Where does that leave us?”

“How am I supposed to know?!” She shouts, her Qi rising a little. “I haven’t known anything in a long time! My memories are bits and pieces. My soul is a patchwork! When you showed me your memories… It helped put a lot of things in order. I remember some of it now. Eastern Port City. The Xiao Sect. You…”

“But…” Liu Jin prompts, already knowing the answer.

“Daji is the stronger name,” she says without a shred of doubt, with conviction that has become certainty. “The name is… It is Divine. It has to be. I can barely remember her, you know? Just bits and pieces. Less than Su An, yet I feel I have to bear her name.”

Liu Jin closes her eyes.

“She was a fanatically stubborn woman.”

Su An…Su Daji sobs and laughs at the same time.

“It doesn’t have to matter!” she says, almost desperately. She turns towards him, her eyes puffy and teary as she holds onto his robes. “Believe me, Boss! I do remember you! I do feel for you as she did! You can call me Su An all you want! It’s just… It’s just…”

It is just that she is not quite Su An.

No matter how much either of them wants her to be.

“I see,” Su Daji says, looking down once she sees the answer written on his face. “Very well, I…”

She tries to rise.

He stops her. His arms are gentle as they wrap around her, yet to her, his grip might as well be made of stone.

“B-boss?” she says in a painful mix of surprise and hope as he pulls her in a hug. Her purple hair occupies his vision. Her lavender scent fills his nose. Su An had neither of those things. No matter how he tries, Liu Jin cannot stop himself from seeing that this girl is not quite his friend.

However, she is not quite Daji either.

“I am sorry,” he says. “This situation… It is unfair. I know it, and you are not to blame for it.”

If not for Murong Bang attacking Eastern Port City…

If not for Daji recklessly clinging to life and violating Su An’s soul…

Is he going to add to her strife by blaming her for not being exactly who he wanted her to be after burdening her with his memories?

“Who you are and who you are to me… Those are complicated questions, and I am sorry I do not have the answers,” Liu Jin says. “However, right now…do you mind if we stay like this for a little longer?”

She sniffles into his robes.

“I think…I think I’d like that, Boss.”

~~~

“Hmph, they still need work.”

Emperor Xiang glances at the diminutive old woman next to him. Unlike everyone else in the imperial box, Granny Zhao is standing. She has her bony fingers wrapped around her cane, and her tiny eyes are fixed on the images projected by the Crimson Cloud on the center of the stadium.

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Even though the fights are happening in a separate spatial realm, the Crimson Cloud can project them for their viewing pleasure. Without a doubt, it’s a marvel. If it wished, the Crimson Cloud could easily project the fights all over the city, but the imperial coffers would not benefit nearly as much from the ticket sales if it did.

Due to the way time works in the Crimson Cloud, every fight they are watching happened hours ago, yet the crowd does not mind. They clap and cheer, greatly enjoying the opportunity to watch the greatest talents of the new generation. Even centuries-old masters will forgo all decorum when their chosen disciple triumphs, often laughing in the face of the opposition and boasting loudly for all to hear. It is always amusing to watch.

However, Granny Zhao is not exactly wrong. The tournament participants might be prodigies, but they’re still children. Lacking an emotional attachment to any of the competitors and possessing greater cultivation than them, Emperor Xiang is often bored by their duels. Granny Zhao must feel the same, which makes her presence here all the more odd.

“Why are you here?” He asks, looking at his old nanny. “You never come.”

“Am I not allowed to be interested in the new generation?” the old woman asks.

“Can those shriveled eyes of yours even see anything?” asks Lady Shao Zhilan. Perhaps sensing she’d see Granny Zhao today, she is dressed more conservatively than usual. Emperor Xiang is not sure whether to be relieved or saddened by it.

“Oh, these old eyes of mine can see a great many things,” Granny Zhao says while laughing. It is a truly terrifying sound. “Especially when there’s something worth watching. What a pity it is not the case so far. Young people are so disappointing.”

“And yet, you are here,” Emperor Xiang points out once more. “Why?”

Even as he asks, his mind is already reviewing different possibilities. The old woman never does anything without a purpose. If she has come here, it is because she expects something important to happen.