Chapter 166

“Well kid, I can tell you right now, I’m surprised you’re still alive.” Vik explained almost a little harshly, and I winced as he had me on my stomach as he examined my Neural link and Cyberdeck.

 

“Yeah, I overdid it. Definitely pushed too hard… Is my Cyberdeck okay?”

 

“Honestly? No.” He answered back. “I’m seeing heat damage on the outer connections, some of the internals aren’t going to be doing well. This is either an expensive repair job, or…”

“Or I buy a new one… Damn…” I muttered as I plopped my forehead into the cushion.

 

I had lost my cool at seeing Sasha ‘die’ and then… Why had I lost my cool so badly?

 

The question nagged at me, even as Vik slowly extracted the cyberdeck and I winced as I could still smell cooked meat coming out with it, I might have healed, but the smell would remain.

 

“Alright kid. Well… I’m not seeing any permanent damage in there.” He muttered as he inspected my port with his eyes and his scanner. “But I’m not comfortable with the amount of detritus I pulled out with that deck.”

“Yeah… I was probably cooking pretty bad. I had to use a MaxDoc before I could even get off the netchair.”

“Shit.” He muttered, as he settled down and rolled around until I could see him.

 

Fuck he was giving the the maximum dad glare.

 

“I know already. I messed up. I just… I thought my choom died… Even though I know she didn’t, it was just… I freaked out.” I admitted and I looked away unable to handle the shift from disappointed face to worried.

 

Why, though? Why had I acted like that?

 

I wanted to growl at myself, I had destroyed myself just to fight, and the whole thing was dumb. What was the point? I hadn’t gained anything…

 

Okay so I had gained something.

 

*500 XP Gained.*

 

*100 Breach Protocol XP Gained.*

 

*Breach Protocol skill level up!*

 

*1 Perk Point Gained.*

 

*500 XP Gained.*

 

Breach protocol level 10. I had maxed it. As I realized it, the data drop activated and I gained an understanding of system architecture in a way I had never thought of before.

 

There was more to the net than just the ones and zeroes. More than just the level the net ran on. More than even the deep dives hit. It was like there was an under layer, a metaphysical layer.

 

One that I now had… Not an understanding, or a surety of, but I knew it existed. I knew there was more to the net than most netrunners ever realized.

 

I blinked away the information. I wasn’t going to be exploring the underside of the net anytime soon.

 

And again, it came back to why.

 

Why had I acted like that? My Cool stat gave me self control bordering on the super human. Well, almost anyways. Yet, I had absolutely lost myself in the feelings from seeing Sasha die.

 

I shuddered out a breath and tried to shift my neck only to grumble as once again the stiffness made my upper shoulder muscles ache.

 

“Kid?”

“It’s okay Vik. I’m glad I’m alive, and I did something stupid. Really stupid. I’ll need some time, that’s all… Just some time, and a new cyberdeck.”

 

“Well… Alright. Listen kid, normally if someone came in with this much damage, I wouldn’t even think of helping them get another deck, especially not so soon… But I also know you’ll go get one regardless, and I’d rather help out.” He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. “That and you are usually good about following my instructions, which is admittedly pretty nice.”

“Heh. Glad I can help.” I teased before just slapping my face back into the padding.

 

“I’m guessing you are going to want something a bit higher spec than this poor Seacho.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well that’ll be harder. I’ll ask around my contacts, but if you want something truly high end? That’s gonna take some leg work.”

 

“Got anything short term?” I asked, looking up from the cushion, and he nodded.

 

“Yeah I got some older Paralines somewhere.”

 

“Gross.”

 

“Hah! That’s what every runner I offer that old thing to says. Relax for now kid.” Then he leaned in and whispered. “Miracle healing or not, you aren’t at one hundred percent.” Then he rose up. “Should I call your brother to pick you up?”

“Ugh. No, he drives like shit, and he doesn’t have an actual car yet… I can drive. It’s even soothing. Thanks Vik.”

 

“Yeah yeah. Thank me by not showing up to my shop with your brain half melted or something next time.”

 

I nodded, grabbed my jacket and threw it on, and then… Home.

 

—–

 

“Motoko!”

 

“Hey Jun.” I greeted and then because he was looking a little frantic I walked over to him as he was getting up off the couch to see me and instead pushed into him for a hug, pushing him back against the couch. “There see. I’m fine.”

 

The fact Jun held me tight probably meant he didn’t agree, but it was still nice regardless.

 

“You alright?”

 

“I’ll be okay. But I used a trick I don’t want getting out, so if anyone asks, I’m okay but not up to chatting with anyone… I need a new Cyberdeck.”

“What happened to your old one?” He asked, pointedly as his gorilla arms held me tight.

 

“It was damaged. Too much heat.”

“Jesus, Motoko. I’m not a runner but I know what that sort of thing does to someone!”

“I’m alright. Vik agrees. Like I said, I used a trick I’m keeping on the downlow. So just… Play along? Please?”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“Of course.” He agreed then sighed. “You need help getting a new one? I can reach out to Fujimura.”

“Heh. No thanks. Vik is going to look for me, and after a few days I think I’ll put the word out to some contacts I have.”

 

“Heh. It still seems funny to me that you have contacts. Going to ask Wakako?”

“Maybe? Probably should. She’ll probably make me do a gig first, but she might be able to get me in contact with someone with the good stuff… Or I could ask Sasha, it’s sort of her fault this happened.”

 

“What? Who is Sasha?”

“Oh.” I muttered looking up from where I was burying my head into Jun’s jacket. It was all fwuffy at the collar, and it was nice. “Sasha is a netrunner, and edgerunner actually. She’s cool, but kinda a gonk. I was with her, she dragged me into a Netrunner arena thing… She lost, and I… I don’t know Jun, I thought she was dead, but I knew she wasn’t, and I just couldn’t get over that.”

 

“Sounds like she dragged you into a mess…” He rumbled and I laughed as it made his chest practically hum.

 

“Yeah a little, but it was my fault that I got hurt. I overreacted… I still don’t even know why! I was just so mad, and angry, and sure she had died, after everything and I just… I knew she was alive but I couldn’t get my brain to realize it.”

“Sounds like me. When I was… struggling. That’s how I felt. I knew I was going to punch you, and I couldn’t do that, but I tried anyway.” Jun offered bluntly, and I flinched.

 

I sat up and locked eyes with Jun because I was seriously shaken by his words.

 

It made sense.

 

A quick check of my system later I confirmed. I had 10 points of open adaptation right now. The last time I had even gotten close to that much was when I first got my arms, and I hadn’t been doing well then either.

 

The ache in my neck brought myself back to focus.

 

Had I had a Cyberpsychosis fit? Was that how the effect manifested in me? Random bursts of surety of something that I also knew was false?

 

I had acted like Sasha actually died, even while knowing she hadn’t, and yet… I had been sure I had just watched her die.

 

“Fuck.” I muttered more than a little tilted. “I’m gonna go crash Jun. Thanks for the hug.”

“Alright. Rest well. I’ll make sure none of your chooms bother you?”

“Yeah, for a few days I’ll need to rest.” I agreed, mostly because I didn’t want anyone asking me questions like how I’m okay after melting my old Cyberdeck.

 

Fuck.

 

—–

 

Eight hours later I was awake, but not sure what to do. I lay there in my bed, listening to the quiet noise of the Tachikoma’s clacking walk as it moved around my room.

 

But I didn’t want to get up.