Chapter 993: True to Yourself

In his astral kingdom, Jason was on the deck of his house in the waterfall gorge. The sun was high and he let the cool air with the faint spray of the waterfall cool him off. Behind him, Raythe exited the house and looked at the other houses lining the gorge walls.

“Most kings seat themselves in a palace, not a neighbourhood,” she observed.

He smiled and likewise looked around. Trees grew out of the rock, surrounding the houses of wood and stone built into the sides of the gorge. A light mist drifted through the gorge, giving it an ethereal feel. He gestured at the view.

“You don’t think this is extravagant enough?”

“Has Dawn told you much about where she comes from?”

Jason turned around to look at Raythe.

“Not a lot,” he said. “Something about being a galactic space princess.”

“She was born in the Sun Palace, which is a palace built around and inside an actual sun.”

“That sounds like more trouble than it’s worth. I mean, awesome, yeah, but also kind of a lot. But I can see why this isn’t up to your standards of opulence. I suppose, compared to the things you’ve seen, my little universe is a run-down caravan park.”

“It has its charms. Bigger and more don’t always mean better, and this realm of yours is still quite embryonic. I imagine you’ll be refining it a lot over the millennia to come.”

“I was thinking of putting some potted herbs out here. It’s always good to have parsley on hand.”

“Do you always do this?” she asked. “Distract from your real thoughts with inane frivolities?”

“I’d say that it’s kind of my thing, but it’s kind of everyone’s thing. People are very good at distracting themselves. You don’t find that?”

She walked over to the wooden rail and leaned her hands on it, looking out at the gorge.

“It has been a long time since I was a normal person, even by such unconventional standards of normal as yours. I don’t recall what it’s like to move through time the way that others do. I was just a person once, I must have been. But you could tell me the story my life before this and I doubt I would recognise it. My body might be immortal, but my memories are not.”

Jason leaned back on the railing and looked at her.

“You’re not like the other prime vessels, are you?”

“A few of us are different. There is a reason we did not participate in the battle for the Cosmic Throne.”

“Did you know how that was going to play out?”

“Perhaps. The web of time trembles as we pluck upon the threads, shifting not just the future but the past. Possibility becomes certainty, and that which never was has suddenly always been true.”

“Do I even want to understand that?”

“No,” Raythe said. “You do not.”

“I have my own conflicts, I suppose. I am still unclear why I have to hide what you’ve told me. Even from myself, now that you’ve taught me how.”

“There is only so much I can tell you, even here. Some because you literally cannot comprehend the flow of events, and others because I fear the disruptive influence you could have, should you decide to… be true to yourself. The great astral beings are charged with governance of the cosmos. In sundering the Cosmic Throne, they failed to live up to their obligations, the repercussions of which continue to play out, back and forth through time.”

She gave a wear sigh before continuing.

“The old Builder demonstrated the depth of the mistake that was the sundering of the throne. Even with the original Builder sanctioned and the throne restored, their folly continues to play out. The impending events around Earth and Pallimustus would not have been possible if the throne had never been sundered. But it was and they are, and it must now be seen through to the end. The instability that would come of disrupting those events would do more harm than the events themselves.”

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to like it. You just have to do it.”

“A lot of people are going to die.”

“Yes.”

“I’m getting tired of taking responsibility for these choices.”

“Be grateful that they don’t come easily. That’s when you’re in trouble.”

Jason tilted his head at a sound, like a murmur he couldn’t make out, lost on the breeze.

“Did you hear that?” he asked. “It’s like a whisper on the wind, but it’s not. That’s my wind, and I know what it carries. It’s not the first time I’ve heard it either. How can there be something here that I don’t recognise? Is it some kind of PTSD thing? I still have nightmares, sometimes. Am I creating ghosts out of trauma?”

“They are not ghosts, Jason.”

“You know what they are?”

“Yes.”

“What are they?”

“You won’t like it.”

“Yeah, well it seems to be the day for that.”

“Maybe you should wait for another day.”

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“You’re leaving today.”

“There will be other days. You have no understanding of what eternity means. And you will figure it out on your own, even without me.”

“No. I’m already putting off enough. What are those sounds?”

“Prayers.”

Jason blinked. He blinked again.

“You’re right,” he said. “I don’t like it.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

“Do I need to?”

“No. As I said, you’ll figure out what you need to on your own.”

Jason started pacing, letting out a groan as he rubbed his forehead.

“I should have listened and left it for another day.”

“Yes.”

“You probably get that a lot, don’t you? Telling people the right choice and having them ignore you?”

“As long as they listen for the important decisions.”

“It’s not like I didn’t know,” he said, to himself rather than her. “It’s been a long time coming, in dribs and drabs. It’s not like I’m really a god. That’s the whole astral nexus thing, right? Part god, part great astral being, part astral king?”

“Yes,” Raythe said. He stopped pacing and looked at her, as if surprised she hadn’t wandered off.

“Okay,” he said. “There’s nothing really new here, just… more information. I can put it in a box and let it fester in my subconscious until it bursts out to ambush me later. I have a therapist for that.”

“That sounds healthy.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got enough to be dealing with. Like how to answer the questions people are going to have. And what to do about Travis’ wife.”

“She doesn’t know.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Does that make things more complicated or less?”