Chapter 18 – Seris

Chapter 18 – Seris

The Font of Light lay high within the snow-capped peak of Mount Aurelis, and everything about it felt holy and divine. Not as divine as Seris’s Big Sister, of course, but close.

The vast mountain lake spread before Seris like a mirror made of sunlight. Its surface shone so brightly that Seris could barely tell where the water ended and the light began. The air hummed with concentrated faith.

It hurt. Every breath felt sharp and wrong. Seris clung tighter to Big Sister and tried very, very hard to be brave.

Seris had known that this would happen. Had been warned. And had nodded.

So Seris must not cry. Because Seris was a good child. Because Seris was the Saintess of Light.

She had always been the Saintess. Big Sister had said so, so it must be true. So Seris would work hard. She would get back what Vhal had taken from her.

Then Seris would hurt that ugly skeleton back. Hurt it very, very badly. Because it was evil and deserved it.

Lady Seralyth had said that being here would keep that scary, mean, evil, and ugly thing from ruining everything. Seris had not understood all of it, only the important parts. The dead god was bad. Mount Aurelis was good. The sacred mountain air would hurt, but it would also help. That was enough.

Seris drew in a deep breath. Pain lanced through her chest so sharply her fingers curled into Big Sister’s robes.

It hurt even worse than that time those mean adults had tried to burn her. But that was okay. Seris was used to pain.

Lady Seralyth had been right. The pain was terrible, but beneath it, Seris could feel something loosening. The pressure behind her eyes had lessened. Her head felt lighter, and the whispers were gone. That alone made the pain worth it.

“The Goddess of Light’s holy power is specialized for purification and exorcism,” Big Sister’s big sister had said earlier, her voice smooth and patient in a way Seris had come to secretly like. “In a place saturated with her authority, the dead god Vhal will not be able to touch you so easily.”

Seris had sat very still while Lady Seralyth adjusted the silver chains of glowing charms around her wrists and ankles, each one warm against her skin.

“The doctrine of Light teaches discipline and venerates the sanctity of the soul,” Lady Seralyth had continued. “And faith leaves echoes. In a place shaped by generations of prayer, your sense of self will be strengthened. But it will hurt, Seris. Very much so.”

Seris had swallowed and whispered, “How much?”

Lady Seralyth had paused at that. Then she had reached out and, very gently, tucked a loose strand of Seris’s hair behind her ear.

“Enough that I wish I could bear it for you, little one,” she had said softly. “But I promise to do everything in my power to keep Mount Aurelis’s holy energy from harming you more than necessary. Will you trust me?”

Even now, everyone was working hard for her sake, so Seris must smile.

She pressed her face into Big Sister’s shoulder and held on.

The air around the lake shimmered.

Lines of light spread across the water in huge glowing patterns Seris couldn’t understand. Some sank into the lake below them. Others rose into the sky and disappeared into the clouds. Bright symbols swirled through the air like pretty fireflies.

The whole mountain felt like it was paying attention.

Big Sister’s embrace was warm and steady as she walked across the water’s surface. She did not sink even a little. With each step she took, pale gold ripples spread outward beneath her bare feet and lingered long after they should have faded, overlapping and multiplying until the entire lake looked like one giant fractal of living light.

Seris peeked over Big Sister’s shoulder and stared.

“So pretty…” she whispered.

Big Sister smiled. “It is, isn’t it?”

Her voice was soft, but it carried clearly across the stillness, as though the mountain itself wanted to hear her speak. When they reached the center of the Font, Big Sister stopped.

The water beneath them shone brighter than anywhere else. Seris looked down and down, but couldn’t see a bottom. There was only light.

Big Sister shifted Seris in her arms and cupped her cheek.

“Seris,” she asked quietly, “are you really alright?”

Seris wanted to say yes right away. She almost did. But Big Sister’s golden eyes were looking at her in that way that made lying feel impossible.

So Seris hesitated.

“A little scared,” she admitted in a tiny voice.

Big Sister’s expression softened at once. “That’s allowed.”

Seris blinked. “It is?”

“Of course it is.” Big Sister brushed her thumb over Seris’s cheek. “Being brave does not mean you are never frightened. It means you keep going even when you are.”

Seris thought about that very hard. Then she nodded solemnly.

“We will begin soon,” Big Sister said. “Are you ready?”

Seris straightened in her arms and tried to look as dignified as Lady Seralyth always did.

She probably failed.

But she still nodded resolutely. “Tell me, Big Sis. What must I do?”

Big Sister adjusted her hold and spoke slowly, carefully, as though each word mattered.

“Your body changing is unavoidable,” she said. “Every living thing is shaped by its nature, and your nature is being rewritten. I cannot stop that. But all magic is a manifestation of will, Seris. Power follows shape, and shape follows intent.”

Seris frowned very hard.

Big Sister laughed softly. “That means your thoughts matter. A lot.”

“Oh.”

“As the ritual’s focus, you should be able to nudge the transformation in the direction you desire.”

Big Sister took Seris’s hand and placed it gently over Seris’s own chest.

“So I can choose?” Seris asked, eyes wide.

“Some of it,” Big Sister said. “Enough that it matters.”

That felt very important.

Big Sister gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Picture a coin in your mind,” she said. “On the side facing up right now is you at your worst. The version of you twisted by fear, pain, and everything Vhal tried to force onto you. On the other side is who you want to be.”

Seris listened with all her might.

“Become one with the coin,” Big Sister murmured. “Feel it. Understand it. And then will it to flip over while reaching for your ideal self. Can you do that, Seris?”

Seris buried her face against Big Sister’s shoulder for just a moment and let herself drown in her warmth.

Big Sister smelled clean and warm, like leaves after rain. Seris liked it. It made her feel safe.

When Seris finally lifted her head, her little hands were clenched into determined fists.

“I will not disappoint you, Big Sister,” she vowed, voice trembling but firm. “I will become the best Saintess ever. I promise.”

Big Sister went very still.

Then she gently pulled back and held Seris at arm’s length. Her golden eyes were more serious than Seris had ever seen them.

“Forget everything I said about the Saintess, Seris.”

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The words fell into the sacred stillness like stones into deep water.

Seris looked back at her with wide, questioning eyes.

Big Sister’s voice, when she spoke again, carried a strange and terrible weight. It was still gentle, still warm, but beneath it was something vast enough to make the mountain seem small.

“What matters to me,” she said, “is that you are happy.”

Seris’s lips parted.

“So think carefully, little one. Think of nothing else but what would make you happy, and who you want to become. Then reach for it. Reach for the ideal you. Driven only by your own will. For no one else but your own self.”

Big Sister leaned forward until their foreheads almost touched.

“Think very very carefully about who you wish to become,” she whispered. “Can you promise me that?”

Seris hesitated. Because that sounded harder than becoming a Saintess.

Harder than enduring pain. Harder, maybe, than anything.

She did not know what she wanted if she was not trying to be useful. She did not know how to think only of herself without feeling wrong.

But Big Sister had asked, so Seris nodded slowly and committed every word to memory.

“I promise,” she whispered.

For a long while, as the light around them gathered and brightened, Big Sister simply looked at her.

Really looked at her.

Her beautiful golden eyes moved slowly over Seris’s face, as though searching for something hidden under skin and bone and fear. The attention made warmth creep into Seris’s cheeks. Her gaze felt almost ticklish, and Seris squirmed under it, blushing.

“B-Big Sis?”

Big Sister blinked, then smiled.

“Sorry,” she said. “I was making sure I had not missed anything.”

“Did you miss anything?”

“No.” Big Sister’s smile deepened, small and private and full of relief. “I think you’re ready.”

Then, before Seris could ask what that meant, Big Sister leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her brow.

“I believe in you.”

The words wrapped around Seris’s heart more tightly than any blanket ever had.