CHAPTER 57 – She Who Made the Desert Bloom

No deep conversation followed when the three apprentices arrived at Celaena’s house; they were all too tired and shaken by their lesson on Fascination. Saphienne imagined that the others felt much as she did, that they wanted to be apart yet not alone as the terrible implications sank in. She was grateful to Celaena for somewhere to sleep other than her family home. The last thing she needed was the presence of her mother…

Celaena loaned Saphienne nightwear and showed her to one of the guest bedrooms, though she admitted she had nothing to spare for Iolas as she led him to the next room over.

“I’ll just sleep in my clothes,” he mumbled. “Who gives a damn…”

Lips twisted in wry amusement, Saphienne shut the ornate door to her bedroom for the night, studying the golds and blues that comprised the ostentatious décor she found within. There was no doubt that Celaena’s father wanted to impress whoever stayed there, the wizard having contrived the colour and shape of the furnishings to remind her of rolling sand beneath an open sky. Even the glittering pillows were arranged on the bed like dunes in the desert sketches that had enthralled her when she was little.

And when she dimmed the lamp? The blue ceiling and walls darkened, and hallucinatory stars softly twinkled.

Saphienne kicked off her shoes, discarded her robes and undergarments, then lifted the cotton gown she had been given — before dropping it to the floor. She slipped into the large bed unclothed, feeling the cool, sheer sheets against her skin, and breathed out as she studied the false heavens, reading in their constellations the haunting faces that another wizard had too recently revealed.

She expected she would sleep little.

* * *

In fact, Saphienne slept quite soundly.

A knock upon her door woke her. “Saphienne?”

She discovered she was buried under the pillows, excavating herself to see afternoon sunlight was streaming through the windows. Sitting up – and remembering she was naked – she pulled the covers up to preserve her modesty. “Who is it?”

“Laewyn. Um, I have tea?”

Saphienne didn’t remember Laewyn being present when she arrived; she wondered whether Celaena had invited her over before their lesson. “You can come in…”

Dressed in her clothes from the bakery, Laewyn carried a familiar wicker basket with her when she entered. She slowed halfway into the room – her gaze resting on the discarded nightgown and underclothes on the floor – and her brows rose in amusement as she came over to sit on the edge of the bed and pass the cup she held to Saphienne. “Wild night?”

Keeping the sheet in place, Saphienne sipped the strong tea. “…I’m presuming that’s meant to be a joke about sex.”

“Not literally.” Laewyn rolled her eyes. “It’s just something funny to say. I never thought you would be the type to sleep nude.”

“I usually wouldn’t.” The brew made her ears stand taller, and she yawned as she felt tiredness leave her.

“Couldn’t resist the silk?” The older girl grinned as she opened the basket. “I did the same thing, the first time I stayed over.”

That admission made Saphienne frown. “Didn’t Celaena visit you that–”

“Gods, why do you remember this stuff?” Laewyn had turned bright crimson, and petulantly tossed an apple pastry to Saphienne without care for whether she caught it. “And why point it out?”

Although she could have caught the treat, Saphienne chose to let it land nearby, carefully setting her cup in her lap before she retrieved it. “I just didn’t think the two of you were doing that then.”

“We weren’t doing–” Laewyn narrowed her eyes. “…What do you mean, then?”

Saphienne smiled as she bit into the pastry.

The older girl glared. “…Ass.”

“You sound like Celaena.” She talked as she chewed. “Who sounds like Faylar — or maybe the other way around.” Then her eyes widened as she remembered: Faylar had been expecting her at the library yesterday.

“She definitely learned it from him.” Laewyn wasn’t paying attention to her, still indecisive about which of the other baked sweets to have for herself. “She might joke about Iolas being polite, but you should have seen how formal she was the first time she came into the bakery… oh, and Iolas is still asleep. Celaena went back to bed. You three had wizard stuff last night?”

Grateful she was eating, Saphienne covered her pause by swallowing. “Our lesson had to be held at night.”

“Reading futures in the stars?” Laewyn had selected a doughy square glazed in frosted, dripping syrup, and didn’t bother to catch the beads as they fell on the bedding. “Do you think you could read mine?”

Tea once more in her hand, Saphienne sighed. “No — and don’t ever ask anyone to divine your future. Trust me.”

“No fun.” She reached out and took Saphienne’s tea from her, sipped from the cup as the younger girl watched in astonishment, then went to hand it back. “Guess I’ll just stick with baking for now.”

Saphienne hesitated, remained dubious about the teacup even while she accepted it. “…Your master seems content to keep you on for now.” She wondered whether anything had transferred to the rim, or even the dark liquid below, then shrugged, and rotated the teacup a quarter turn before she drank deeply.

“She mentioned that you stopped by. Spoke approvingly–”

“Laewyn,” Saphienne cut her off, “why did you make me tea?”

As though the answer were obvious, she shook the basket. “Um, I wanted to eat? And it’s not like I could bother Iolas — what if he’d been naked?”

The slightly distracted look in Laewyn’s eyes made Saphienne smirk. “I think he’d be terrified of you. But, come to think of it, I don’t even know whether–”

“He likes girls.” Laewyn had convinced herself. “He’s just as reserved as Celaena was befo– don’t give me that look!” Noticing Saphienne’s expression flustered her. “…I’m not going to…”

Sitting forward, Saphienne tightly tucked the sheet under her arms so she could hold her cup with both hands while she leant in. “But would you want to? With Iolas?”

Amazement swept across Laewyn’s face — which subsided into a happy, conspiratorial smile. “You’re full of surprises.”

“Are you going to answer? Or are you going to tell me I’m too young to–”

“As if.” She set the basket aside. “You’re only, what, about a year and a half younger than me? There’s only a few months between me and Celaena.”

That was a revelation to Saphienne. “I thought she was sixteen?”

“Barely. Celaena turned sixteen in late winter; I turn sixteen near the end of summer.”

Revelation gave way to astonishment. “You’re younger than her?”

Laewyn laughed. “Is it my height? Or let me guess — all the wine?”

Saphienne diplomatically finished her tea.

“…You don’t have any other friends who are girls, do you?” The older girl – though slightly less older than Saphienne had thought – already knew the answer. “I see. You’re figuring things out, about yourself?”

“No.” Saphienne hadn’t expected the focus of the conversation to turn around on her, and she felt uncomfortably hot. “…Or, well… I don’t know. I don’t feel like I’m interested in boys — or even girls. Faylar said–”

“Um, ignore whatever he said.” Laewyn rolled her head, and fell back on the bed. “Everyone experiences attraction differently. There’s a huge difference between how most boys feel interested, and how most girls do.” Her gaze flicked to Saphienne. “Do you know about the, um, physical side of things?”

Now Saphienne was scarlet. “…I read a little. I think I understand.”

“Then I’ll put it like this: most boys experience attraction through arousal, but most girls experience arousal with attraction.” She squinted into the blue. “Or that’s what I was told. Have you ever felt–”

“Not for a person.” Saphienne slid deeper under the covers.

“That doesn’t mean you won’t. You probably just need to meet someone, get to know them, realise that you like them before you know you want them.” She smiled softly to herself. “That what you desired to know?”

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“…Is it different? Liking boys, to girls?”

Laewyn giggled and rolled onto her stomach. “Are you asking about attraction, or are you curious about the physical side?”

Unable to flee, Saphienne covered herself entirely.

“The attraction feels the same for both, to me. I’m maybe a bit like a boy… I know when I find someone interesting.” Saphienne could hear her grin, and heard as it subsided into a gentler smile. “And for the rest… Celaena is my first girlfriend. I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

Saphienne peered out from her cocoon. “But have you–”

“Gods, Saphienne.” Laewyn laughed loudly. “No! Celaena is my first… and it’s only been a few days…”

Her vulnerability drew Saphienne out as well. “…And?”

Planting her face on the covers, Laewyn held her breath; her voice was muffled when she finally spoke. “It’s overwhelming… in a good way… but not worth rushing into.” She managed to look up. “If you’re not feeling like you want to? Don’t chase it.”

Hearing similar advice from someone closer to her own age helped; Saphienne felt her worries subside.