v5c61: Shenhe’s Oath

Zang Shenhe rarely spoke to other people about her plans. Only two would ever listen to her anyway; her fellow Elder, Chongyun, and the Patriarch. With Chongyun, he was one of the few who didn’t seem to despise her presence, and they were even cordial.

The other she spoke to was the Patriarch, to gain his favour and hopefully his trust…even though she now knew that that endeavor was doomed from the start.

The Patriarch had always been aloof and dismissive, bored by her appearance and words. But…she had needed to tell somebody. So she drew on the only memories she had of somebody who might tell her, the only person whose opinion on her path forward actually mattered.

Wen had said Nezan always told her the truth, no matter if she didn’t want to hear it or if it was painful. Shenhe could only hope he would offer her the same courtesy.

Now, Nezan sat before her. In contrast to the Patriarch, he gave her his full and undivided attention as she explained her intentions to him. The fox gave no outward reaction, simply staring at her until she said her piece. She met those eyes, for she would weather his criticism without flinching.

At the end of it, Nezan closed his eyes. He mulled over her plan.

“You’re entirely too much like your aunt, you know? Wen did not do things by halves either,” the fox said. Before, Shenhe would have beaten to near death any who dared to compare her to the ‘arch-traitor.’ Killed them for certain if they were an enemy. Yet this time, she could feel the fondness and the honest praise in the fox’s voice. She waited patiently for his verdict.

“I cannot say I am displeased by what you are planning, Zang Shenhe. My only question is: why? Why did you choose this path?”

Part of it was out of guilt. Part of it was out of a desire to atone. Part of it was to claim a birthright and history denied to her.

But all of those were selfish reasons.

‘Strength above all, to protect what we love’, Zang Yong’s words echoed in her mind.

All her life she had been told to crush her love. To harden her heart, for that was how a true Zang became strong. She always felt weak when she could not fully give in to the Patriarch’s words.

Zang Shenhe did love the Shrouded Mountain, its beauty and its splendor.

She loved the Howling Fang Mountains, their home. Some of her fondest memories were when she was an Outrider, going to villages who did not know who she was and defending them from the things that meant them harm. It was where the black hate for the foxes had come from—the fury that they would involve the mortals of the province, prey on them, and kill them.

She loved her disciples. She loved the men and women under her command, who had chosen to follow her into the north against demons.

She could even say she loved some of their family. Fengfeng, who Shenhe had shielded from the worst of things. Li—who had never looked at her with disgusted eyes. Her heart had ached when she found out he had died, and her path of vengeance had been for him. She loved her mother and her father, the stress of the Patriarch’s ire withering them away so long ago.

“Because it is the only one I can walk,” she answered, staring directly at the fox.

It was the only path that wouldn’t make her a coward or an oathbreaker—the path that Zang Yong and Zang Wen would have walked. A path of penance, a path of redemption.

“Then…you will have what support I can give you, Zang Shenhe,” Nezan stated.

Shenhe bowed her head in thanks.

======================

Shenhe walked forward through the snow towards the fortress where the rest of her sect was staying. Her eyes were forward, and her back was straight. There were numerous eyes upon her, the people in Master Rou’s home giving her a head start as the other members of her sect walked forward to watch.

Lord Shen Yu, Master Rou, and Yun Ren had been informed about her intentions—which had similarly been well-received. Lord Shen Yu had nodded and proclaimed her path “not bad”, though Master Rou had been surprised at her timetable. She had assumed the man wished for her and her sect to be gone as soon as possible.

Instead, the benevolent Elder of the Cloudy Sword Sect had granted her a full week from when they had arrived, the man stating that he wished for them to be well enough to travel…and that Shenhe herself might benefit from speaking to one Cai Xiulan, Grand Marshal of the Azure Hills, who had some experience in bringing peace and reconciliation between multiple groups.

Truly, the Disciples of the Cloudy Sword Sect were above all others in their benevolence.

She reached the fortress. She did not pause, she did not hesitate. The time for such things had passed. The disciples within were broken and defeated looking. Their eyes were dull and lifeless, and despair hung about them like a pall. They sat in listless groups, and likely the only reason there was no fighting between them was because all of them were still too injured to actually do something about the simmering cauldron of emotions that hung around them all.

“Disciples of the Shrouded Mountain Sect, I would request your presence in the courtyard,” Shenhe said.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Her voice was soft in contrast to the belted out commands many disciples were used to, and that got their attention. Slowly, the listless disciples turned to look at her, and those who did found their backs straightening.

Shenhe, who had been broken and wandering, dazed, now stood before them calm and resolute. Her eyes burned blue—and a fox sat upon her shoulder. Slowly, hesitantly, the disciples gathered. Some looked hopeful. Others, wary. Still others only rose out of an ingrained sense of duty, as they gathered in the courtyard and upon the walls of the fortress.

Shenhe looked upon them. She saw their fear and uncertainty.

“Some would say we have been quite unlucky. Captured by demons, defeated in battle, and finally, when we thought that the Heavens have ceased punishing us, we are given a revelation that has thrown everything we knew and have stood for into doubt. The sins of the Patriarch. The sins of the Inquisition. That our war that we thought so just was a lie. Even now we hear that our Sect slays its own in a civil war.”

The disciples shifted, turning their eyes downward. They winced and shrank away from her words, folding in on themselves.

“I know what you all are feeling. More acutely, in many ways. Everything I have ever done was to free myself and my family from the stigma of the ‘Arch Traitor’. I gave everything I had to the Patriarch. I fought and bled without complaint…and now I know that everything I have ever done has been in service to that lie. I would have never been absolved of my aunt’s actions. No matter what I had done, it would never be enough. I served a man who would have discarded me without a thought. The trust you had in the sect has been broken. The trust we have for each other has been broken.”

Each word caused a minute wince as the disciples nearly collapsed.