Chapter 21 – Origin

[Let’s look at your status menu first.]

The box appeared in my vision, and I blinked as I ran my eyes over it. I twitched at the fact my health was at 65%. I hadn’t bothered taking a close look at my HUD and had completely missed the fact it was so low. Selene had said my previous injuries had reduced my health maximum once already, and I was willing to bet the loss of my arm had reduced it yet again…

I shook my head. Now wasn’t the time to be falling back down that hole. I turned my focus to Selene, and her tails gave me a flick of acknowledgement.

[Now let us discuss Origins. It is, as the name might suggest, the reason one was chosen to be a Magical Girl. There are many specific circumstances, but they are divided into seven basic “emotions” or “themes” that the Magical Girl is said to be a representation of. Each of these Origins is also given a color that the Magical Girl is obligated to use as the primary color in their outfit. Magically speaking, your Origin determines what is called your Origin bonus, sometimes called your color type bonus. These bonuses are extremely powerful and could be compared to the racial bonuses of a video game. Because of this, it usually helps determine the combat role a Guardian takes. Are you following so far?]

I nodded, and she continued.

[Good. The first Origin, and perhaps the most powerful, is Love. Love Magical Girls are represented by the color pink. Pinks have the desire to help others above all else, the epitome of self-sacrifice. The bonus they have is earning 25% more points and experience from all sources. Roughly 10% of all Guardians are pink, and they often take the role of the all-stars or all-rounders. While they may not be masters of any one area, they are exceptional in many, making them ideal for filling in any weakness while having none of their own.]

My eyes widened. That bonus seemed absurdly powerful. Sure, it didn’t help them directly in combat, but they would be able to grow more powerful at a much quicker pace. Not only that, but they would be able to face weaker Anathema and still get decent experience and points from them if they wanted.

[I see you understand the implications,] Selene gave a flick of her tail. [Pink Magical Girls are some of the best simply because they get more rewards for the work they put in. They grow so quickly that they outpace their peers and often end up becoming team leaders simply due to the stat and point differences. Pinks also tend to be people with natural charisma, being friendly and compassionate as one would expect from a Magical Girl who represents love. They are, essentially, the ideal example of a Magical Girl.]

I nodded, wondering if Lily would fit that criteria. With how friendly and magnetic her personality was, I could see it.

[The second origin is Adventure, represented by the color red. This color represents those who constantly seek excitement and new challenges from thrills to fights. Reds have a permanent bonus to the effectiveness of their offensive spells, skills, and weapons. It is a percentage bonus that grows as they level. Red Magical Girls tend to be passionate, excitable, loyal, and sometimes hot headed. About 20% of Guardians have this color, and they often take the role of the warrior. Whether they fight on the frontlines as a whirlwind or cast devastating spells from afar, they are unmatched in their destructive potential.]

I nodded, noting that the bonus would make Reds the damage dealers while remaining inclusive enough to make them equally dangerous as close or long range fighters.

[The third origin is Hope, represented by the color blue. This color represents those who wish to help others, hoping that anyone can be saved and inspiring hope through their caring actions. Blues have a permanent bonus to the effectiveness of their support spells, skills, and weapons. It is a percentage bonus that grows as they level. Blue Magical Girls tend to be smart, calm, caring, empathetic, and sometimes shy. About 20% of Guardians have this color, and they often take the role of healer. Using their support magic, they can bolster their allies and hinder their enemies, all while healing any damage taken.]

Blue Magical Girls would definitely be more team oriented, then. Sure, their support bonus would work on themselves, but it seemed like it would be more effective for them to team them up with other Guardians to get the most out of their bonus.

[The fourth origin is Peace, represented by the color green. This color represents those who have a strong desire to protect others, who want normalcy and serenity above all else. Greens have a permanent bonus to the effectiveness of their defensive spells, skills, and weapons. It is a percentage bonus that grows as they level. Green Magical Girls tend to be determined, stoic, dauntless, and sometimes withdrawn. About 20% of people who become Guardians have this color, and they often take the role of defender. Whether fighting on the frontlines as an immovable rock or creating impenetrable shields from afar, they are the ones who protect themselves and comrades from any source of harm.]

I kept my eyes from flicking to emerald form of Error Machina. With that description, it made sense he was working at Guardian Command to coordinate Magical Girls, though I wasn’t sure exactly how well he could utilize his spells or his other bonuses from behind a computer.

[The fifth origin is Wish, represented by the color yellow. This color represents those who hold a wish inside them, a dream they hold on a pedestal but cannot obtain, and they seek to give others a chance to reach their own wish. Yellows have a two part bonus, the first being that they often have a very unique Signature Magic that often breaks the rules of what should be possible with magic in general. The second bonus is that in exchange for becoming a Magical Guardian, they have their wish granted.]

I blinked.

“What?”

[It has to be a wish within reason, and some things are forbidden, of course,] Selene quickly amended, her tails swishing in something like amusement. [No bringing back the dead, no making somebody fall in love with them, no destroying reality by turning back time, that sort of thing. Also, if their wish would naturally be fulfilled by becoming a Magical Girl, then they can keep their wish to use later. On that note, one thing that should never be done is asking a Yellow what they used their wish on. It is considered highly taboo.]

I nodded in understanding. Whatever they used their wish on would have to be something highly personal, especially if it was something powerful enough to help make them a Magical Girl candidate. Asking for them to reveal that would be beyond just being a little rude.

Selene seemed pleased with my quick acceptance, and so she continued.

[Yellows tend to have hyper or quirky personalities, be generally mischievous, fun loving, and sometimes have a poor sense of boundaries. About 20% of Guardians have this color, and they often take the role of rogue. Due to their unpredictable Signature Magics, they have no single defined combat type, instead specializing in unusual tactics that compliment their Signature.]

That made sense. If all of them had widely diverse Signatures, it seemed wise for them to be specialists rather than a more standardized role.

[The sixth origin is Dream, represented by the color white. This color represents those who dream of becoming a Magical Girl and everything it pertains, especially giving others the chance to achieve their own dreams in peace. A White Magical Girl has a 50% experience bonus. They tend to have a full, unpredictable gambit of personalities. About 7% of Guardians have this color, and they often take the role of an ace or master in their chosen field. Because they have such a high experience bonus but no point bonus, they often become hyper-specialized and masters of their chosen path.]

Selene stopped, and I held my breath. So far, none of the colors had really seemed to represent me. I assumed the personalities weren’t set in stone, but even then, none of their reasons for being chosen as a Magical Girl lined up neatly with my own. Which only meant…

[What I am about to tell you is something you should keep to yourself,] Selene said, her voice serious. [The reasons will become obvious, but just know, only Magical Girls of your Origin get the full and truthful explanation. You are free to give this explanation to anyone you wish, but others of your Origin would take it… poorly. Those who heard the explanation might have an equally unfavorable response for a variety of reasons that will soon be made clear. Do you understand?]

I nodded, the tension building inside me as Selene took a deep breath.

[The final origin is Dark, represented by the color black. This color represents those who have experienced such darkness in their lives that the Anathema seem pale in comparison. Whether it be pain, despair, sadness, or a myriad of other emotions, Dark Magical Girls have no one unifying emotion, just a theme. Dark Magical Girls have experienced suffering, and in that suffering, have survived. They are chosen not because they wanted to escape their circumstances, but because they instead learned to live despite the shadows. Another interesting point is that every Dark Magical Girl is chosen partially because even though they faced horrors, they had no particular desire to become a Magical Girl until it was offered. This is mostly due to the fact that Dark Magical Girls never even realized it was an option, thinking themselves… unworthy. The truth, however, is that their experiences make them uniquely capable to stare down the worst of the Anathema and fight without faltering. In many ways, they represent courage born through suffering. That is why they are chosen.]

I flinched, taking in shallow, quick breaths as Selene turned her head slightly away from me. I wanted to shake my head, to tell her she was wrong, that my life wasn’t like that. Sure, things weren’t what I wanted, but… there were reasons for that, and I had made my peace with those reasons. Maybe things were dark, but they weren’t the worst. It was just how things were. I barely fit into that description, and even then, it was only from someone else’s point of view.

Right.

I wasn’t like that.

Things weren’t that bad.

Other people just didn’t understand.

A dozen more reassurances ran through my mind, and I found myself breathing quicker and quicker. Before I could start hyperventilating, Selene gave a sharp flick of her tails, and my mind instantly cleared, the thoughts disappearing like fog before a strong wind. It was an alien sensation, almost like someone had snapped their fingers directly inside my brain. My attention snapped away from my spiraling thoughts and back to Selene.

[The bonus Dark Magical Girls start with is threefold and intertwined,] Selene began slowly, making sure she had my full attention before continuing. [First, they begin with a completely Unique Grimoire, a powerful type of magic built solely for them. Secondly, their Signature Magic is also much more powerful than a normal Magical Girl’s and often has a dark spin on it. Finally, their Grimoire, Signature, and the bonus provided by their Aspect are all linked together by some underlying theme and power, giving a Dark Magical Girl a naturally synergistic set of abilities that are not only powerful, but completely unique and therefore unpredictable. About 3% of Guardians have this color, and they take the role of the trump card. Dark Magical Girls are unparalleled in single combat due to the unique twists provided by their starting bonuses, and are often relied on as boss killers and duelists. As for their common personality traits…]

Selene sighed, her tails twisting together nervously.

[The truth is that they run a full gambit, but other Magical Girls often categorize them as antisocial, quiet, loners, and unstable. There are a lot of rumors regarding Dark Magical Girls. Many have realized that Dark Magical Girls tend to have something troubling them, something that occasionally causes them to… snap. Combining Dark Magical Girls’ unpredictable personalities with the power they wield, many think they are simply ticking time bombs. Bombs that are uniquely capable of hurting other Magical Girls.]

“What?” I looked up in confusion.

[Mai, other Magical Girls are simply told Dark Magical Girls represent the emotion of Courage, to face darkness without wavering. While it is partially true, it is still nowhere near the entirety of it. Just becoming a Magical Girl doesn’t rescue someone from their… circumstances. They still have to find a way to deal with it on their own. Worse, the unique abilities Dark Magical Girls have usually make them great at defeating boss-type Anathema, but that isn’t the only thing they are designed for. Think of it like this: Dark Magical Girls are often given abilities focused on facing lone creatures, even ones with a range of powerful abilities and magic. Does that description match anything else you can think of?]

The bottom of my stomach dropped out, eyes widening.

“Magical Girls,” I thought to Selene. “We’re Anti-Magical Girls.”

[Yes… although it is not the main design of your powers, it is not lost on the more experienced Magical Girls just how dangerous a Dark Magical Girl could be. If you take into account that there is a stigma of Dark Magical Girls being emotionally unstable with troubled pasts while also possessing unnatural magics…]

“But doesn’t the contract we made prevent us from abusing our powers?” I asked my mind racing. I didn’t know why, but I was desperate to find a reason Selene might be wrong.

[The question then becomes what constitutes abuse. How far is too far for one who is defending humanity? The contract Guardians make prevents the most heinous of actions, but even then, the rule can sometimes be twisted to prevent automatic punishment. The Zenith believe… Well, defeating the Anathema is their top priority, and it takes a lot to convince them to punish a Guardian and deprive humanity of a hyper-capable warrior. In the end, it often comes to the community of Magical Girls to keep each other in line. In the most extreme cases, force may be necessary, in which case… Well, it only makes sense to contact a Dark Magical Girl to help the authorities.]

“I see…” I thought to her, a deep, sinking feeling settling into my belly.

[It doesn’t help that some Dark Magical Girls have lashed out, either. It has led to people saying things such as, “Dark Magical Girls are unstable. You can’t trust them. They only care about themselves. They’re crazy and will attack you without warning.” Those are just some of the less colorful rumors, but all it takes for some people to believe in them is the slightest bit of confirmation by a Dark Magical Girl having a bad day. And if one rumor is true, then…]

I looked down at the floor, forcing myself to think things through slowly.

So…

I was a Dark Magical Girl, an outcast even among Magical Girls. I was chosen not because I was anything special or heroic like other Magical Girls, I was just picked because of what I’d gone through. Selene tried to say that courage was part of the reason, but I knew that was her just trying to find a silver lining because I wasn’t courageous. Just surviving day-to-day didn’t make me anything special, really.

Besides, if courage really was the main reason Darks were chosen, then they wouldn’t be called Darks in the first place. They would have a name referring to their color like every other Guardian, wouldn’t they?

I suppose none of the information was too surprising, especially not the part about how people would react to me. People already thought I was weird, so this was just more of the same, really. I… could deal with that. Actually, it might even be easier this way. I wouldn’t have known how to handle suddenly being popular.

Yeah… It would be fine. I wasn’t sure why I felt so crestfallen, or why my heart felt tight, but everything would be fine.

[Anyway, it’s not like all Magical Girls see Dark Magical Girls this way,] Selene hurriedly added. [Yes, there’s a negative stigma, but due to the positive nature of Magical Girls, most are able to look past the rumors. Just be aware that some might be hesitant… or even outright hostile. Oh, and the public isn’t aware of any of this! To them, Dark Magical Girls are simply another type of Guardian who happen to dress in black. As a reminder, courage is the emotional aspect focused on for those not in the know. In fact, many people love Dark Magical Girls due to their rarity and mysterious demeanors. So while some of the Magical Girl community might view you with negative connotations, you have nothing to fear from civilians.]

“Oh…. ” Some of the tightness in my chest disappeared. Now that Selene mentioned it, I’d never heard anything bad about Dark Magical Girls before. Though, to be fair, I’d been so uninterested and separated from anything Guardian related that I didn’t know much of anything about them.

“That’s not too bad then, I guess.” I shrugged weakly.

[I’m glad you understand,] Selene sighed, obviously relieved. [Now, I know how much you value your privacy, and the explanation about how Dark Magical Girls are chosen gives others some very personal insight. That is partially why other Guardians are given a more simplistic explanation. It is a policy meant to protect the privacy of Dark Magical Girls, and it is an unspoken rule among them not to tell anyone else the truth.]

I nodded in understanding. Sure, there might be rumors that there was something wrong with Dark Magical Girls, but outright telling other Guardians the truth? I mean, Guardians were chosen based on the fact they were supposed to help people. If other Magical Girls learned for a fact that every Dark Magical Girl had either gone through or was going through some kind of darkness, some kind of disturbing personal issue…

It was easy to see why that would just be inviting trouble. Every Magical Girl would rush to find out what was “wrong,” trying to figure out what the Dark Magical Girl was coping with, and then they would try to solve it. Every Dark Magical Girl would suddenly have to worry about every Guardian they met trying to “fix” their problems, inserting themselves and trying to play hero.

I shook my head. No. It was abundantly clear why the truth was hidden, even if it still led to rumors. I knew I personally wanted nobody interfering in my personal life. It was mine, not theirs, and they had no right to judge or mess with it just because they saw things differently. I didn’t want their help.

Besides… I didn’t need it.

“Okay, I understand why you kept this part from me…” I thought back to Selene. “It’s… a lot. A little frustrating… and distracting. But it doesn’t explain a few things like my Astral Shift or-”

[We’re almost there. The last thing I wanted to explain before I show you your unredacted Status was your Aspect. If Origin is the reason a person became a Magical Girl, the Aspect is meant to express what part of that Origin they express. For example, Red Magical Girls have the Origin of Adventure, so their Aspect might be Speed, Fighting, Exploration, or some other Aspect that could be associated with that emotion. As I explained earlier in the day, your Aspect gives you a unique bonus at certain milestone levels, and it is what’s given you your unique Augment. Now, because Dark Magical Girls have an Origin that is a theme the combines various things, your Aspect is instead the exact emotion that best represents your… darkness. With that explained, here is your unredacted Basic section.]

I felt a serrated dagger cut my heart open.

That wasn’t…

That…

No.

I blinked the box away, and turned back to Selene. I didn’t want to think about it. Not right now. Not when there were more important things to worry about.

“Okay. What else?” I quickly asked aloud, and Error blinked, turning his attention back to me.

Selene looked at me for a long time before giving what felt like a sigh.

[So, with the knowledge of your Origin in mind and the stigma around it-] Selene started, pausing as Error raised a hand.

“Look,” he said, his tone clipped. “I just want to say, I know the rumors about Dark Magical Girls aren’t the whole truth, and I think I have a pretty good idea of what’s really going on, but none of that matters to me. I’ve seen plenty of Guardians of every color, and let me tell you, it doesn’t matter. We’re all just people. We all have our problems and bad eggs, and stereotyping is definitely not the answer. What matters is what we do, and let me say, you’ve already been more of a Magical Girl in these few hours than most are in their lifetime. You’ve done good, kōhai. Better than anyone else could have in your position.”

My cheeks warmed, and I looked away. I wasn’t sure how to respond to him or the fluttery heat in my chest other than just nod.

[Yes… You really have done amazingly. Especially considering you’ve managed all of this without your Astral Shift.]

I looked up as Selene’s tone changed. I’d heard her worried or nervous before, but even then her tone was always calm, a constant and almost ethereal quality to it. Now, though, it turned into an outright snarl, and it sent a shiver down my spine.

“Your Astral Shift…” Error spat the words out, but even his venom didn’t hold a candle to Selene’s. “I’m curious. I’m sure your Familiar told you that your Astral Shift is the stereotypical “transformation” sequence. Bright lights and magical effects envelop you, and then poof, you’re wearing your Magical Girl costume. I’m also sure your Familiar told you without your Astral Shift, you only get a portion of the bonuses provided by your stats. She also probably danced around telling you the exact percentage of the bonuses you retain, am I right? Did you even consider it?”

“I…” I closed my mouth, then shook my head. “No. I always just assumed it was low…”

[I did not wish to upset you, and knowing the truth wouldn’t have changed anything.] Selene looked down with something like shame in her posture.

“No, it wouldn’t have,” Error agreed. “So, what percentage of your stats do you think you were gaining?”

I thought about it for a moment. I really had never considered it, but subconsciously…

“Maybe fifty percent?” I tried. “But now I’m thinking less…”

The corners of Error’s lips lifted in the parody of a smile.

“Ten percent.”

I stared at Error. Then I looked at Selene, and she nodded.

“You might as well not have had any bonuses considering your low level,” Error growled, and I closed my eyes.

Ten percent… Everything I’d done, I assumed I was doing it with at least a slight edge to my physical abilities. Every calculation I made, every reassurance I’d given myself… and the whole time, I’d been working with a ten percent bonus of what I should have. Considering I was still low leveled, Error was right. I might as well not have had any bonus at all.

I swallowed down the bile in my throat. I wasn’t upset at Selene, because telling me would have just built up my fear and despair. No, I was just upset that I didn’t have access to my full stats.

“So my fights should have been easier,” I cleared my throat. “But-”