Chapter 26 – Survivor

I woke with a start, flailing as half-formed memories of Anathema, pain, and gunshots flashed through my mind. A choked scream was quickly aborted as I sat up, the dryness of my throat turning the sound into a scratchy cough. I blinked the sleep from my watery eyes, and it took a moment for my vision to clear.

I was in an… unlit bedroom? Everything was colored in soft white and grays, giving the room a bland, professional feel. A giant widescreen TV hung on the wall across from me while nightstands flanked either side of the bed I was in. The wall to my right was covered in curtains hanging from top to bottom, suggesting the entire thing might have been one large window. Finally, a few pieces of watercolor art depicting gentle landscapes were placed around the room, helping to finish off the minor furnishing along with a few lamps. Two doors led into the room with one of them open, but I couldn’t see what it led to from my position in the bed.

I looked around, heart pounding as I tried to process what I was seeing. The one thing that didn’t fit with the decor was an IV pole standing next to me. A bag of blue, glowing liquid hung from it, a thin tube leading down from the bag to a needle in my right arm, just below a rolled up sleeve.

More confusion swept through me as I looked down at myself and saw I was wearing black, long-sleeved pajamas with a purple bunny-head pattern repeating across them. Moreover, something white and fluffy was seated on my lap. It almost looked like a stuffed animal, like a bunny, but-

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The blue, semi-transparent box suddenly appearing in my vision made me jump slightly, and the form sitting on my lap stirred, fox tails unfurling as Selene stood up. Her crescent moon pupils stared up at me, floppy ears twitching as her tails began to gently wave back and forth behind her.

[Good morning, Mai,] her gentle, clear voice echoed in my mind. [It is good to see you awake.]

I looked from Selene to the room around me, a dozen questions forming. Of them, one rose above all the rest, burning so fiercely that I felt my heart begin to race. I forced myself to take a deep, steadying breath only to start coughing again as the air aggravated the dryness of my throat.

[The nightstand on the right has some water for you,] Selene directed me, and I looked to see a water bottle placed there.

I reached for it with my left arm, the one not attached to the IV, and-

I stopped, staring down at my left arm with wide eyes.

I had both of my arms.

Emotions started to bubble inside of me, rising in my chest and into my throat. I desperately pushed them down, forcing my shaking hands to grab the water bottle and open it. Some water spilled down my chin as I hurriedly drank, and Selene gave a slow nod of her head.

[Good. Now, I’m sure you have a lot of questions-]

“The shelter,” I interrupted her. “Is the shelter okay? Is Lily…?”

My heart pounded as I stared at Selene, desperation making me shake. My memories felt fuzzy, the entire fight at the shielding station just a blur. I know I pushed the button, but what happened after? Was the shelter saved? Did the plan work?

[The shelter is fine,] Selene quickly assured me. [You successfully restarted the shielding station, restoring power to their emergency shield. Though their battery was severely drained, it was enough for the shelter to last a day on low power mode. That proved to not be necessary, however, as the Usurpation was lifted soon after the shield was restarted, and the shelter was rescued.]

I stared at Selene, the tightness in my chest not disappearing.

The shelter was… rescued?

That didn’t make sense.

No, it did, but it couldn’t be that simple, could it?

“But what about…” I fumbled, squeezing the water bottle tight enough to start crinkling it. “We were surrounded and… The attack on Arcadia and… Um…”

I stuttered, fidgeting as I tried to put into words the desperate restlessness that wouldn’t leave my body.

[Mai,] Selene whispered, her voice soft. [You restarted the shielding station. You saved them, and some Magical Girls saved you. You fought with everything you had, and you won. You did it, Mai. You saved your friend and hundreds of other people. It’s all over now. All of it.]

Slowly, my heartbeat began to slow as her words sank in, the tension melting from my body. As it did, I felt the churning emotions in my chest begin to bubble over, and I looked to the bedroom doors.

“Is anybody out there?” I thought to Selene, not trusting my voice.

[No, it’s just us for now,] Selene responded.

I nodded, taking a deep breath.

And then I broke down sobbing.

The memories of fighting, of my stomach being blended by an Anathema, of trying to keep Brian safe, of learning that my friend was going to die, of my arm being twisted and crushed, of cutting it off, of my desperate fight against the Anathema, of my final words to Selene… all of it seemed to flash through my mind at the same time.

And it was just too much.

Every moment had been constant tension, like shards of glass were scattered inside my heart, digging deeper with each passing moment. Every breath had been measured, none of them ever quite filling my lungs.

More than that, it was the desperation, the fact that every moment I’d had one clear, indisputable goal in front of me pushing me on like nothing had ever before. But now all of it was just… gone. I woke up, and it was over, like it never even happened. I knew it was stupid, that I should be happy everything had turned out fine, but part of me just felt hollow.

Maybe the worst part was it didn’t feel real. Even as I thought back to the events, everything felt like a dream, like I hadn’t really done any of it. It was worse than an emptiness, it was a feeling of loss. Every reason I’d had for fighting, for pushing myself to keep moving forward was gone, and that left me with…

What did it leave me with?

So I sobbed. It was an ugly, gasping sob that left me breathless and coughing as I let myself cry. Selene had assured me nobody was around, so I let myself give in. Whenever I thought I was almost done, a wracking pang of emptiness would echo through me, and I would start again.

I don’t know how long I cried, but by the end of it, I was exhausted. It felt like all my energy had left with my tears, leaving my body trembling. I wiped at my eyes, sniffling as I looked up at Selene. Her head was bowed, tails lying limp against the bed.

[It’s alright. You’ve been through too much, too soon. I apologize. I don’t know how best to comfort you. If it helps, know that not every day as a Magical Girl is like what you experienced.]

A Magical Girl. That’s right, I’m a Magical Girl now…

Just thinking that felt weird. Maybe it was because I’d never transformed or used magic, but I didn’t particularly feel like a Magical Girl. Sure I had my HUD, but even then, nothing felt different.

I glanced up at my health and mana bars absently and saw that while my mana bar was full, my health was resting at 87%. I suppose that wasn’t too surprising considering my injuries and the fact I still had an IV in my arm, though. But that did make me wonder…

“Selene,” I frowned as I peered at the glowing liquid in the IV bag, “What… What happened? Where am I?”

[Well… perhaps we should start with what the last thing you remember is?]

“I… um. We were fighting in the shielding station, and I was running to the terminal. Then…”

I shivered, a hand going to my chest. I looked for the wound that should have been there but felt nothing other than the softness of my pajamas.

“I got hit… but I kept going to press the button. After that…”

The memory of my conversation with Selene made my throat tighten. I’d been half-delirious from my injuries, I knew that now, but the things I said to Selene made my face heat up. Even worse, I wasn’t sure how to talk about what I was about to do when the Anathema had me surrounded. It had felt like a reasonable thing at the time, but how was I supposed to say that now?

“I… the glass dome broke,” I finally said, skipping over that part and hoping that Selene wouldn’t bring it up, “and some Magical Girls came down. They cleared out the Anathema with magic, and then… put me to sleep?”

The final parts of my memory were blurry, particularly around what the Magical Girls had been saying, but Selene still gave me a nod, her tails swishing excitedly.

[You seem to remember everything, more or less. A group of Magical Girls came to rescue you. By the time they arrived, you were already seriously wounded, forcing them to put you into a magical sleep while they treated you. Once you were stable and the Anathema were fought off, they transferred you here, the Fairlight Hotel. There are various circumstances that made it a more reasonable choice than the Guardian hospital, but I think they would like to discuss those with you directly. They can also explain any other questions you might have.]

“They?” I asked, an edge of apprehension forming in my gut. “What do you mean?”

[The Guardians who rescued you want to have a few words with you,] Selene clarified. [There are quite a few events that transpired while you were unconscious, and there are things that we need to discuss with them. Besides, you still need your Astral Shift unlocked, and they would be capable of doing so.]

I hesitated for a moment. They had gone out of their way to save me, and I knew I owed them a lot. They’d also already seen me without my transformation to hide my identity, so talking to them now wasn’t much of a problem.

Still, something bothered me about the idea, something nagging at the back of my mind. No matter how hard I tried to grasp the trailing thought, it eluded me.

I gave up after another handful of seconds, instead asking about something else.

“But… what about everything you said about not trusting other Guardians?”

I felt bad the moment the words left my mouth. After they’d risked their lives to save me, it felt stupid to be doubting them, but it was the only real concern I could vocalize. Even as Selene began to answer me, I knew it wasn’t the real issue that was bugging me.

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[These aren’t just any Guardians, Mai. They are a strike team, a group contracted to serve as an elite defense force for Arcadia. More than that, Error Machina was the one who sent them, and he trusts them. While I maintain that other Guardians may be nervous or antagonistic around you, I believe you should trust these ones. I’ve personally reviewed their public records and found nothing to suggest ill intent. Furthermore, they have already signed a Geas to keep all information they’ve learned about you private. I had planned on asking them for an oath when you awoke, but they actually surprised me by taking the initiative with the Geas.]

I let myself process the information for a minute before giving a slow nod. When Selene had first told me to be wary of other Guardians, I hadn’t quite understood her reasoning. Now that I knew what being a Dark Magical Girl meant and the stigma around being one, it made a lot more sense to be cautious.

A Dark Magical Girl…

I shivered, and Selene tilted her head at me inquisitively.