Chapter: 565 – A Tree-mendous Day

Tala and Rane slowly meandered back down the branch toward the teahouse where they’d reserved a large room.

Even with their slow pace, they were near the front of their family all vaguely headed to the same destination, even though they were, momentarily, dispersing in every direction.

A few had even decided to head to the end of the branch and the viewing platform there. Osip was among that group as he wanted to see more of the city that would be his home for the foreseeable future, and he was excited to see as much as possible with his family.

Even those that headed back toward the trunk didn’t take the straight path, ducking into myriad stores, shops, and other businesses along the way.

The husband and wife didn’t need to enter anywhere, given their threefold perception, borrowed in Rane’s case. There were a few things of interest, but nothing really caught their attention enough to cause a detour. Thus, they walked arm in arm down the branch, simply enjoying the time together while hugging the side of the road so as to not block traffic while they took their time.

“Are you enjoying the time with your family?” Rane’s question was softly asked, and it drew her from her internal thoughts smoothly.

“Hmm? Yes, I think so.” She frowned. “It’s funny. I want to be around them. I want to be known by them and know them in turn, but…”

He waited, letting her process.

“But, it’s hard to really care, you know? If any one of them died, I would be sad, I would mourn—at least I hope that I would—but my life wouldn’t actually change. Mistress Odera’s death—Master Girt’s as well—had a real, ongoing effect on my life, but in their cases, it was something that would have faded anyway with time. In the case of my family? It would really affect essentially nothing for me.”

Rane hmmed but didn’t otherwise respond.

“Am I a terrible person? I don’t want my family to die. I want them to live long, full, good lives. I even want to be in them when possible, but… I feel like whether they live or die doesn’t actually mean anything in my life… but that’s horrible… right?”

There was another long pause, and so Tala looked up to her husband. He returned her look with a kind smile and asked, “Do you want me to just listen? Respond? Or something else?”

“Respond, I think.” She then pulled herself against his arm, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“In that case, I think the fact that it really wouldn’t change your day to day life, yet you still care, speaks to your concern. To be sad when someone who affects you every day dies just makes sense. In some ways, that’s a selfish grief, which doesn’t make it bad, just different. In the case of family, especially that which is somewhat removed from you, it is only a mourning of emotion, not one of inconvenience or resistance to change. There is no practical reason to weep, there is no justifiable cause for distress, yet still we feel the weight of the passing. We look at the relationship that has ended, and we wonder if we should have done more, seen them more, talked with them more. We wonder if we made their life better, all the while not usually caring if they improved ours in the least. Though, in some cases that does factor in as well.”

Tala frowned. “Isn’t it selfish—just like you said—to consider how they affected me?”

“Yes and no. Everyone around us affects us to some extent—family more so—but we usually mourn the potential loss more than the actuality of it.”

She winced, hearing echoes of her feelings around her currently barren womb. Her free hand unconsciously moved to rest on her lower abdomen at the association.

Rane leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “That is a similar sadness, yes. I think, though, the death of a family member has the added element of knowing who is lost beforehand and remembering them specifically after.” He smiled. “But I’ve likely said more than ideal. May I ask what brought up this thought of death? They are all whole and hale as far as I know. Did I miss something?”

“No, no. They are all fine. It’s just that… Most won’t be alive in a hundred years, when you and I will be much the same as we are now. Even the Mages and soon-to-be-Mages among them likely won’t survive the century, at least statistically speaking. Is it really worth it to get attached?” She huffed a humorous laugh, amending, “More attached.”

Rane turned to face her, guiding her off the road and up a little rise to a look-out point. Thankfully, there wasn’t anyone else there at the moment. “Tala, look at me.”

She looked up at him once more, wetness in her eyes.

“Yes. It is worth it. You already chose that when you chose me, even before I Refined. The love you feel for your family is greater for the coming loss, not less. You aren’t investing in them to gain anything. You aren’t spending time with them because you’ll be stuck with them forever. You love them—you actively choose to love them—because they matter to you, and they always will. Even when they are but statues along the Path of Remembrance, your love for them will remain, and they will continue to affect you for as long as you live.”

The tears came then, and she pulled herself against him, his arms wrapping around her in a tight embrace as she allowed herself a cathartic cry. “I miss her so much.”

He gave a squeeze, kissing the top of her head again. “I know. She would be proud of who you’ve become. Though, I’m sure she’d have found something worth improving.”

That brought a barked laugh from Tala as she buried her head a bit more firmly against him. “She always did find a way to highlight my shortcomings.” After a moment, she added, “But it was always in the attempt to help me improve. It was never to condemn or bring me down.”

“She was amazing.”

They settled in there for a long span, allowing the city to flow by behind them on the thoroughfare.

Some of their family noticed them as they passed, but seeing the couple’s close embrace, they each chose to give the two of them space rather than joining them.

When she was ready, Tala pulled back, wiping her eyes and nose before smiling up at Rane. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I’m always here for you.”

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“I know.” She went up on her toes to kiss him, and he bent down to meet her halfway.

“Are you ready?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Let’s get to the teahouse.”

They traversed the rest of the distance in companionable silence and found that they’d still arrived in the first half of their group.

The room they’d reserved was bustling as the family talked and mingled, enjoying the well-brewed tea and meticulously paired snacks.

There were cards and other accoutrements set up at several of the tables, and a few of the people ahead of them were starting to play various games.

Others were enjoying the view as they chatted, whether continuing to admire the surrounding landscape or people-watching on the branch laid out below their wall of windows.

Tala and Rane exchanged a quick kiss before diving back into their role as hosts, moving from group to group, ensuring that everyone was enjoying themselves and no one was lacking anything that they needed at the moment.

Tala felt as if a weight of self-imposed expectation had been lifted from her shoulders as she focused on the ‘now’ rather than trying to project each relationship to its inevitable end.

In that way, she was able to see each person as a brother, sister, niece, nephew, and in-law rather than yet one more person that she would eventually have to bury and mourn in the end.

-Yeah… that wasn’t a very healthy perspective.-

Yet, you didn’t say anything?