2 – The Four Wizards

The wizards stared at me for a long moment before bursting out in laughter.

“Aye lad, let’s have a smoke,” a broad-shouldered one said, walking over and clapping me on the back. “What’s your name, stranger? You don’t look like you’re from around here.”

“Mark,” I said as the old man led me down amongst his colleagues. “I’m from Colorado… uh, Earth.”

“Urth? Never heard of it. Myrl, is that one of the Southern Kingdoms?”

A particularly soggy wizard straightened his back. “I think it’s one of the islands in the Archipelagos. Or was it a desert? I can’t recall.”

“Actually, I think it’s another world,” I interrupted.

The wizard who led me over pulled at his beard. “Aye. A dimensional traveler are ye? Not unheard of. Not unheard of. I’ve read of such cases. But before we get down to the storytelling, Myrl, can you dry us off for Urk’s sake? I’m dripping wet.”

The soggy wizard, who was also quite skinny, got up in front of the group and raised his slender staff. “[Warm Gust],” he said, and a simple, pale blue spell circle appeared in front of him. The interlocked symbols glowed once, then a massive breeze burst forth.

Myrl was quick to step in front of his own spell circle once it had been activated, and the lot of us were buffeted by what felt like an enormous hair dryer. Within minutes, we were all thoroughly dry, and the spell circle faded along with the gust.

“Now then,” the main wizard said. “Introductions. I’m Bagavash. The skinny one who dried us off is called Myrl. The little guy is Linli.” A wizard who looked more like a gnome gave a curt nod. “And the one who evaporated half the lake is Erl.” Erl raised his staff. He was a big man and towered over the other wizards by at least a head. Despite their differences in stature, they all had long white beards and hair and wore matching blue robes that were somewhat faded with age.

“Take a seat, Mark,” the one named Bagavash said, “And let’s get to that smoking you mentioned.”

I sat down on one of the logs that lined the shore, wedged in between Bagavash and Linli. Myrl and Erl had their own stumps. “Glad to know they have leaf in whatever world you come from,” Bagavash said. “What kind are you smoking?”

I reached into my pack for the Green Dragon Blink, then thought better of it. “You know,” I said, “I halfway suspect this leaf had something to do with my transmigration to your world. We might be better off smoking whatever you have. That is… if you don’t mind sharing.”

Bagavash clapped me on the back again. “You’re a good lad. What’s ours is yours, dimensional traveler.” Bagavash produced a leather pouch from the inner recesses of his robes. “Kalender Black. Finest blend in all Hillsborough.”

This statement produced a chorus of disagreement from the group. “Balderdash!” Erl called out. Linli spat on the ground, and Myrl waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t listen to him,” he said. “Wynly Vanilla is far superior.”

“Only because you mix it with that stonegrass from down south,” Linli said. “No one else can stand it. If you ask me, Garden Hermit Flake is the only leaf for a wizard.”

“You gnomes and your Garden Hermit,” Erl said in a gruff voice, producing his own leather satchel. “It’s Castle Gold for me. Don’t care what the lot of you think.”

It seemed the people of this world were in as much disagreement about the best pipe tobacco as the users on Reddit.

“So lad,” Bagavash said. “What’s it gonna be?” I suddenly noticed each wizard was staring at me expectantly, each with their own pouch held out in front of them. I got the feeling that whichever tobacco I chose would settle a long-standing debate, and perhaps make me more enemies than allies.

Myrl, inched his hand forward in an inviting gesture. I took a second to look at each offering. I couldn’t tell if Bagavash was the leader of the group, but he had certainly been the most welcoming to me. “I’ll take some of that,” I said, gesturing to the pouch of dark shreds in his hand.

The group erupted in disapproval. Myrl huffed and looked away. Linli spat on the ground again. Erl muttered something about, “It’ll go right to his head…”

“I told you all,” Bagavash said. “Kalender Black is the superior leaf for wizards and all magical types. You made a good choice, lad.” He grabbed a generous pinch and packed it into the bowl of my pipe. “Say, this is an interesting stem,” he said, examining the black plastic piece. “What’s this made out of?”

“Vulcanite,” I said. I remembered that from all the research I had done before buying a pipe. “It’s some kind of treated rubber.” They all looked at me like I was speaking gibberish. “Oh, right. It’s made from the sap of a special tree in my world. Who knows? You might even have it in yours.”

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“Dimensional traveler,” Linli said to no one in particular, shaking his head. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

“You’ll have to let me examine this when we get back to the tower,” Bagavash said, handing my pipe back to me. “That and the mysterious leaf that let you travel here. But for now, we smoke.”

He pulled out another pouch. This one looked more rigid, almost like it was made out of wood. He opened it and pulled out a glowing ember with a pair of small tongs that had their own slot in the box. Apparently, it had been protected from the deluge earlier.

He reached over and lit my pipe with the ember while I puffed it to life. The leaf he gave me was far thicker than whatever I had smoked earlier, and I let out several coughs before recovering.

Bagavash slapped me on the back again. It seemed to be his signature move. “First time smoking, laddy?” he said with a chuckle.