120: Speedrunners

Ryan picked up two ladies in Rust Town, with a skeletal zombie chained to his car hood.

“Seriously?” Ryan asked his girlfriend with skeptical eyes. While Fortuna came to the mission with her sensual, white-latex catsuit, Livia brought a pair of jeans and a blue hoodie. “I’m not letting you in.”

“I’m sorry, it’s the only practical clothing I could grab in an hour,” Livia apologized. Ryan’s loops began while she was having a girl’s day out with Fortuna, and although it allowed the two to slip away from the Augusti undetected in spite of Geist’s sudden disappearance, it didn’t give them enough time to find the perfect outfit. “But it’s cotton!”

“Passable,” Ryan replied with a shrug, before reluctantly letting them in. The courier had come fully prepared, with the Fisty Brothers gauntlets and two submachine guns waiting on the front seat. He had even gotten the bowler hat out of storage, ready for war, and convinced Paulie to hand over his secret weapon.

It was amazing how much one could achieve in an hour with the perfect timing and little traffic.

Ryan would rather have more time to prepare, but they couldn’t wait any longer. Big Fat Adam was about to throw his captives into the meat-grinder any second now.

“Livy, you should have told me,” Fortuna said as she and Livia climbed at the back. “I had a back-up suit!”

“I know, but…” Her best friend responded with an awkward smile. “I find it a little indecent…”

“I-it’s not indecent, it’s gawking!” Fortuna complained with a blush, as Ryan drove through the district’s desolate streets. “And is that a real skeleton on the car hood?”

“Help!” Ghoul suddenly screamed at the car’s front, startling Fortuna. The Psycho had lost both his legs and hands, leaving only the head and rib cage chained below the windshield. “Help me, he’s mad! He’s mad!”

“Shush, my little astronaut,” Ryan said with a soft, gentle tone. It made the undead Psycho cower in fear. “Living people are talking.”

“Don’t worry, he deserves it,” Livia explained to Fortuna, before glancing at her boyfriend. “Felix and the others will arrive a few minutes after us.”

“Good, I can make a great first impression then.” Ryan smashed the accelerator, and aimed straight for the Junkyard. Ghoul screamed, as the district’s toxic wind battered his naked eyes.

“Felix is coming too?” Fortuna asked at the back, eminently curious. Since she acted as Livia’s bodyguard and trusted her best friend absolutely, she must have come without asking many questions. “He’s coming back to us?”

“No,” Livia replied, “but Ryan convinced him to make an effort and keep in touch.”

“You did?” Lucky Girl glanced at the handsome driver with renewed respect. “You know, I was about to say Livia was too good for you, but I take it back!”

“Thank you, thank you,” Ryan said, as he noticed the trash walls of the Junkyard appearing in the distance. “Where is my payment?”

“The ammo?” Fortuna gave Ryan a handful of pointed, arrow-shaped bullets. Ryan grabbed a gun while the Plymouth Fury drove by itself. “You’re in luck, the gunshop had some in stock! What did you need these bullets for?”

“Whale hunting,” Ryan replied, as he loaded the ammo in his gun and showcased it to his girlfriend. “Sixteen rounds, 9mm. It can quickly fire round after round without pause.”

“Hard question.” Livia gave him a playful look. “Does it ever jam?”

“Never, nor does it overheat. It can keep pumping out rounds all night long.” Ryan gently caressed the tip of the barrel. “Though I often need help with the safety catch.”

“Good, I have a firm but gentle handle on these things,” his girlfriend said with a coy voice, as she grabbed the Fisty Brothers and put them on. “I could help with the… fingerwork.”

“Be gentle though,” Ryan warned, as he put his weapon inside his trench coat, right between the sleeping Plushie and the Bliss inhaler. “The barrel is one of a kind and the trigger is very sensitive. One wrong move, and it’ll fire too soon.”

“Are you talking about weapons or something else?” Fortuna asked, as red as a tomato.

“I have Paulie’s rocket launcher below your seat, if you want to try a heavier caliber,” Ryan said innocently. “I hope you’re open to new experiences, because your target is a she.”

Before Fortuna could protest, Len’s voice came out of the Chronoradio. “I’m in position, Riri.”

“What about Henriette and Eugène-Henry?” Ryan asked back, as they came into view of the Junkyard. Hills of trash and stacks of cars overshadowed a fence, shielded by the Reptilian and Gemini. Both observed the car approaching in confusion, while Ghoul screamed in terror.

“At the orphanage with Sarah.”

Perfect.

“Ghoul?!” The Reptilian shouted upon recognizing his teammate, his reptilian eyes widening in terror.

In response, Ryan opened his window and pointed a finger at the US government’s secret lizardman master. “Witness me!”

Gemini’s light body instantly vanished in a flash of light, while the Reptilian narrowly managed to leap out of the way before the crazed driver could hit him. Ryan’s car smashed through the fence at full speed.

Ryan drove through the Junkyard’s labyrinth of trash walls like a conquered realm, ignoring the Psychos scavenging in the area. Mongrel glanced at the intruders from atop a rusted car, his teeth sinking into a living rat’s back.

Having grown to know the guy in previous loops, the sight filled Ryan with compassion. Mongrel truly didn’t deserve being turned into an animal, and the courier would make sure to help him take his life back.

Instead of attacking, Ryan tossed grenades behind him to collapse some of the trash walls and disrupt ground-based reinforcements. His own would come from above anyway.

By the time someone sounded the alarm and the sound of bells echoed in the Junkyard, Ryan’s group was almost in view of the bunker’s entrance. The driver sensed the heavy gaze of the Land on him, and a quake sent debris falling on his car. Having lived through this situation multiple times, the time traveler easily zigzagged around the improvised projectiles.

When Ryan reached the Junkyard’s landmark trash tower and the tunnel leading to the bunker, he noticed two shadows flying in the skies above. Two would-be heroes, floating on glass surfboards.

Unfortunately, toxic clouds already formed above the Junkyard, as Acid Rain and Mosquito moved to protect the tunnel’s entrance. “Thieves!” the former snarled as she drew knives. Much like Mongrel before her, the sight of her maddened expression made Ryan pity her. “Thie—”

“Blondie, shoot!” The courier shouted, as he veered his car to the left. “Shoot the other blonde! Double blondie!”

“Alright!” Fortuna opened the car’s door mid-motion and leaped out of it, Paulie’s rocket launcher in hand. She pressed the trigger before she even landed on her feet, aiming for Acid Rain.

The surprised Psycho took a step back as a rocket with a smiley face painted on the tip flew straight at her. She immediately teleported above a trash wall as an acid drizzle started raining down from the toxic clouds above. It helped little, for the Genius-tech missile followed and forced her to retreat; it would take minutes for the projectile to run out of fuel, keeping Acid Rain occupied.

Mosquito, meanwhile, extended his wings and rushed at the Plymouth Fury with a fist raised. He only noticed the shadow above him all too late, a black and white angel of death and destruction.

Timmy had leaped from his glass surfboard, and transformed mid-flight.

“FLYING PANDA PRESS!”

The Panda gracefully landed on Mosquito like a fly swatter, and buried him alive beneath pounds of fur and fat.

Felix’s landing was far more gracious, as his glass surfboard landed in the middle of the courtyard. Ryan parked his Plymouth Fury right next to it, stepping out of the car alongside Livia with grace and dignity.

“Felix!” Fortuna rejoiced at her brother’s presence, tossing the empty rocket launcher away. Livia handed her best friend a submachine gun as a replacement, while Ryan claimed the other for himself.

“You know, sis, I always wondered how a team-up would go,” Atom Cat replied, before noticing Mongrel leaping into view atop a trash wall. The maddened Psycho summoned a fireball into his hand.

“Remember, kitten, no lethal force,” Ryan said. “Stick to pebbles!”

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“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got this,” he replied before grabbing empty tin cans from the trash walls, turning them into bombs, and tossing them at Mongrel. His projectiles and the Psycho’s hit each other in the air, sparking a devastating blast.

Unfortunately, the explosion caused a weakened trash wall to collapse on itself and cast a rain of debris on Fortuna, the Panda, and Mosquito. Felix’s eyes immediately widened in panic, as he realized his screw-up. “Sis!” he shouted as loudly as he could. “Sis!”

While Timmy managed to drag his unconscious enemy out of danger, Lucky Girl was too close to dodge. She looked at the collapsing debris with shock, as her power somehow failed to deflect them.

Ryan almost froze time and rushed to her rescue, before noticing Livia smiling.

A second later, an invisible force grabbed the living lottery ticket, carrying her above the ground and to safety.

By now, Ryan should have known better.

“We’ll take it from here, Quicksave,” Shroud declared as he became visible, holding a blushing Fortuna in his arms bridal style. And her power didn’t even need to force his hand this time around! “Clean-up the nest.”

Felix didn’t hide his relief. “Thanks,” he said to Mathias, before focusing back on Mongrel.

His sister’s reaction was far less refined. “Felix, you screw-up, you almost dirtied my clothes!” she complained, shouting so loudly that Shroud winced. “I will strangle you if the mutants don’t kill you first!”

“I would suggest drowning him, he doesn’t like being wet,” Ryan replied, as he and Livia moved into the shaking tunnel. Before he abandoned the surface, the courier gave the situation a cursory glance.

These events were so familiar, yet different. A scenario honed through multiple repetitions, built upon information he had collected over many loops, executed by allies he had gathered on his journey. After so long, it was all coming together.

And yet he immediately noticed something utterly new. Something he never imagined would happen, except in his wildest dreams.

His Plymouth Fury…

His Plymouth Fury hadn’t taken any damage!