95: Double Date

Ryan drove his Plymouth Fury through dilapidated streets, while his partner-in-crime explained the plan in the back. He had put on the bowler hat, like a crown of pain and destruction.

“When Psyshock dies, the bunker will go in high alert,” Livia explained, checking on her phone. Cancel waited on the other side of the line to execute the metal squid. “According to Ryan, Adam the Ogre explicitly ordered the Land to close the bunker’s entrance if intruders get too close to it. This means we have only a short time window to either take down the Land, or reach the base’s entrance before she can close it.”

“How long?” Shroud asked, trying to disguise his voice by making it rougher.

“Minutes,” Livia replied.

“How do we prevent her from noticing our approach?” The vigilante was always such a downer. “Her range extends for miles. I checked.”

“The good thing about Ghoul, is that like with Lego toys,” Ryan said while opening the glovebox, “he comes in many parts.”

A skeletal foot wriggled within it.

“Oh, I wondered where the rest of him had gone,” Shroud noted from the backseat.

“W-what is this, Sifu?” The Panda asked, disturbed.

“It’s like a rabbit foot, it brings luck.” Ryan glanced at Fortuna in the rearview mirror. “Though less than the living charm over here.”

“Thank you for recognizing my superiority, though it is obvious,” Fortuna said with smug pride. “And this is disgusting.”

Ryan froze time and tossed the severed foot at her lap, causing Lucky Girl to scream when the clock resumed. She made a cute sound and grabbed Shroud on instinct, much to the vigilante’s confusion. He seemed torn between reassuring her and annoyance.

“I have a hand in the trunk, if you prefer it,” the courier mocked the blonde.

“I will show you a hand!” Fortuna complained before throwing the foot at the driver. She would have aimed true too, if Ryan didn’t freeze time to catch the projectile. “I will slap you in the face!”

“Anyway, as long as we have her tenant’s body parts in the car, the landowner won’t pay attention to us.” Ryan put the foot back in the glovebox. “She will think Psypsy picked Ghoul up and they’re now returning home. At least, until we crash through their front door.”

Livia answered with a nod. “The Reptilian, Acid Rain, Gemini, and the thralls should protect the Junkyard’s surface, while the rest of the gang is in standby inside their base. Psyshock’s execution will free his victims, the Reptilian shouldn’t be a problem, and I can handle Acid Rain.”

Ryan blinked. “You can?”

Though he couldn’t see her face with her helmet on, the courier was pretty sure Livia grinned in response. “I can see where she teleports before she does.”

In the end, the life of a Genome was a giant game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. One power trumped another, forming a delicate, complex web.

And then you had people like Lightning Butt, who just plain cheated at life.

“Gemini and the Land don’t have any hard counters though,” Livia said, as the group came within sight of the Junkyard’s walls of car piles and trash. “Fortuna, Shroud, can you take care of them?”

“Leave it to us, Livy,” Fortuna replied before frowning. “Now that I think of it, I should get a pseudonym too. I would have taken Diana if Felix hadn’t run off, but…”

“You should choose a name that fits yourself, not others’ desires,” Shroud said.

“You’re right, but I should get something that my boyfriend will like, since we’ll spend our lives together,” Fortuna said while checking her phone. “I’ll harass him with suggestions until he likes one!”

Ryan could tell that the boyfriend in question was strongly resisting the urge to facepalm, doubly so as the Panda started offering suggestions of his own. “How about Lady Luck?” the manbear proposed. “The Legend?”

“I would have said Almost-Invincible, but the last half is already taken,” the courier joked at the front.

“Excuse you? Almost Invincible?” Fortuna sneered arrogantly. “Nobody can hurt me. I’m the world’s luckiest woman.”

The memory of the blonde model bleeding out after Pluto shot her in the chest flashed through Ryan’s mind. “Only if another Yellow isn’t involved, Goldie,” Ryan said. “The Land is one, and you should stay as far away from her as possible, least you find your luck running out.”

“That can’t happen.”

“It can,” Livia said, shocking her best friend. “The Land is a Yellow/Orange Psycho who can gain conceptual dominion over an area, and this control trumps yours over luck.”

Ryan’s brief presidential term had given him insight into the Meta-Gang’s operations and abilities. In particular, he had learned that the Land could also telekinetically manipulate earth, but her precision was inversely proportional to her range. While she was near impossible to destroy while fused to the earth’s soil, she could only create quakes in that state. However, this power combination also made the Land Fortuna’s natural counter.

“Your power is a guardian angel,” Ryan told Lucky Girl. “But like all Yellow powers, it follows esoteric rules. Which means it’s nonsensical, but with its own internal logic.”

“I don’t get it,” Fortuna said with a frown.

Her boyfriend caught on though. “Your power alters probability and events to protect you, under the guise of luck,” Shroud explained. “But the Land has supreme spiritual control over an area. By that logic, its authority is higher than your power’s in her territory.”

“So she can harm me?” Fortuna asked shyly, her pride replaced with doubt. She felt suddenly a lot less confident about this mission, but Livia reassured her by holding her hand.

“You will live, if your…” Livia trailed off, glancing at Shroud. “Your partner protects you during the battle. The Land will need to take back physical form to use her full terrakinesis, which will give you an opening to take her down.”

“A deal is a deal,” Shroud said, though the main reason he ended up with Fortuna was due to her power foiling his assassination attempts. “Unlike your kind, we do not betray our alliance in the middle of a fight. If you have my back, I will have yours.”

“You better!” Fortuna said, regaining her bravery. “If I die, I swear I will haunt you!”

Ryan suddenly wondered how the Land and Geist’s abilities would interact, and folded the idea away into a corner of his mind. Maybe the former could exorcise the latter, especially since his power anchored him to an area too.

In any case, if they could take out the Land, then the Meta-Gang didn’t have anyone capable of bringing down Lucky Girl. With that walking four-leaf clover on their side, the battle would be as good as won.

Gemini and Ink Machine would be the hardest to contain due to their abnormal physiology, followed by Frank. Ryan could take care of his former bodyguard, but he could only hope Fortuna and her long-suffering boyfriend could deal with the former two. He had also informed the Panda of his power’s regeneration, so he could pull his weight in the battle to come.

Which would start within seconds, as the Plymouth Fury finally reached the Junkyard’s entrance fence. The Reptilian and Gemini stood watch over the entrance, with Lizard-boy’s reptilian eyes squinting as the car approached.

Ryan hoped for one of them to shout ‘you shall not pass’, and was deeply disappointed when they didn’t.

“Lucky girl!” The courier kept one hand on the driver’s wheel, and tossed Len’s water rifle at Fortuna with the other. “Aim for the eyes!”

“Go get them!” Livia encouraged her best friend, while Fortuna opened the windows with a grin.

“Stop right there!” The Reptilian panicked, but Ryan answered by accelerating. “Stop!”

Fortuna fired at the Psychos with the water rifle as the car passed, not even bothering to aim. Her projectiles hit true nonetheless, trapping the Reptilian in a sphere of water. The water phased through Gemini however, the ethereal woman of light vanishing as the car approached. Her monstrous shadow chased after the Plymouth Fury, but not quickly enough to make a difference.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author’s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Ryan raced through the Junkyard’s labyrinth of forking trash walls and twisted turns. He still carried the reflexes from his first suicide run, and experienced an impression of déjà vu. Someone should sound the alarm in five, four…

“Now!” Livia said, typing on her phone.

No bell raised the alarm.

Cancel must have executed Psyshock on the spot, freeing the thralls and sowing confusion into the ranks. Ryan didn’t understand how much until they reached the bunker’s entrance without the Land stopping them; Acid Rain guarded the tunnel leading beneath the Junkyard, and instantly summoned her toxic clouds above their hands.

“Thieves!” she shouted at the Plymouth Fury’s sight, her face twisted into an expression of frothing fury as she drew two knives. “Thieves at the gates!”

Fortuna opened fire at her with the water rifle, but the Land seemed to have finally noticed the intrusion. The Junkyard trembled as an earthquake shook its foundations, tossing trash and collapsing car walls. A golden shroud became visible around Fortuna, like an angel’s halo.