16. Goblin farming

In the end, it was another failure. Another 6 points went straight down the drain. The goblin stubbornly refused to become my citizen, so I sent it to the raccoons and got back some points from selling its corpse.

However, as they say, failure is the mother of success. I was actually able to obtain some important information this time. It seems the requirements for Citizenship Granting were stricter than I first assumed:

1. The target must be intelligent enough.

2. The target must be aware of my existence and have sufficient affinity toward me.

3. The target must be able to recognize and willingly accept me as their Sovereign.

And as I thought about it more carefully, it actually made perfect sense.

After all, imagine wandering into an unknown place, and then suddenly some random, invisible voice asks you to become its loyal follower when you don’t even have half a freaking idea who, or what, they really are. Would you accept?

(Haiya….)

(What a pain in the ass.)

I sighed again.

(How the heck do I leave a good impression on the goblins now? Do I bribe them with a mountain of food?)

Well, I could try to become like an unknown god who blesses them with endless food supplies!

But… how much food would it actually require? One hundred steaks per goblin? Or one thousand?

It was uncertain. It could very well sink hundreds or even thousands of Points just trying to domesticate these guys. Hell, there was no guarantee that food would even work in the first place!

But… it’s not like I could think of any better idea for now, so in the end, I decided to go with it.

(Alright. Commence Operation Goblin Domestication!)

But before that, to buy enough food, of course I would need more points. A lot of points, to be precise.

So I would need to save up again — probably by killing more goblins first. After all, once I started seriously feeding them, I wouldn’t be able to kill them that freely anymore, since doing so might completely destroy any trust in me if they ever found out this rocky guy had been feeding their friends to le raccoons!

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Thus, I set a clear goal in mind: stockpile 300 points first!

***

For the next three weeks, I farmed those goblins relentlessly. It seemed like every week, one or two groups would show up like clockwork to donate Points to me. I ended up earning an average of 15 Points per day just from killing them and selling their corpses.

That said, I did feel increasingly bad for the raccoons. They weren’t happy at all. The poor little guys always had their rest disturbed and were constantly kept on high alert. I noticed their fur getting increasingly ragged and patchy. Obviously, the repeated goblin invasions were stressing them out badly. At this rate, I might end up chasing them out of my castle, which I absolutely did not want. By now, those fluffy bandits were basically my little pets.

So, I decided not to bother them anymore.

Instead, I came up with another, much cleaner way to kill the goblins.

Turns out, it was actually super easy! I could just drop heavy stuff on them from above!