Chapter 1142 – Girl Scary

Artemis seemed to take Jake’s question very seriously as she frowned deeply. After a few seconds of consideration, she sighed and spoke. “I… have a bit of a confession. While I do keep beast companions, I only started doing so in higher grades, and I’ve never actually had to name, well, anything.”

“Really?” Jake asked with surprise. “How about that Voidpiercer?”

“Already known by that name when we met,” Artemis shook her head.

“Huh,” Jake muttered. “Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t have good suggestions. I’m very open to suggestions over there.”

Artemis once more considered for a while, looking toward the little fella who was still busy sorting all his stuff. “Alright, considering it’s a Shimmerfur Warpsnatcher, and taking into account its Path and magic abilities…”

Jake was waiting with bated breath as Artemis took this extremely serious during this dramatic pause. Finally, she looked at Jake, who was ready to hear the best damn name suggestion ever.

“How about Snatchie?”

Only for him to learn that perhaps Artemis was just as terrible at naming stuff as he was. Jake couldn’t help but cough at the suggestion before he chuckled. “You know, I considered the same, which means it’s certifiably a horrible name.”

“It’s not that bad,” Artemis said, crossing her arms. “It’s descriptive. The Warpsnatcher snatches things, hence Snatchie. There is a logical through-line.”

“If we actually named him Snatchie, I would get my head bashed in by Miranda,” Jake chuckled while shaking his head.

“You’re exaggerating. I doubt that assistant of yours would dare do something like that.”

“Oh, you don’t know her,” Jake insisted. “No, no, we need a better name. Something that’s an actual name would be preferable.”

Jake put on his thinking cap and considered potential names he believed could fit the little bugger. He also considered the kind of magic the Warpsnatcher was capable of, as well as where he had found it. Looking at Artemis, Jake got an idea. A name from mythology appeared that he believed could fit.

“How about Hermes?” Jake said, feeling a bit proud of that one. Hermes was a mythological god known to be able to pass through realms and represented travelers, merchants, and even thieves. The more Jake thought about it, the more-

“Hermes? Like the courier god?” Artemis asked while tilting her head a little. “I guess it could fit?”

“Wait, back up a little,” Jake said. “You know a Hermes?”

“Yeah,” Artemis nodded. “There’s a god named Hermes who commands the Hermes Trading Association, one of the largest merchant factions in the multiverse. They are especially known as excellent couriers, and when valuable goods have to be transported into restricted areas or under safe circumstances, they are likely the best there is. Especially if Hermes himself takes on the job.”

“Alright, yeah, scratch Hermes then,” Jake sighed, disappointed. Damn, he should have known there was already a god named that out there. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if most of the gods of mythology had counterparts in the multiverse, though evidently the details didn’t always seem to fit.

Artemis was one example of it definitely not fitting perfectly, but so was Hermes. From what Artemis said, the two barely knew one another, yet on Earth, they had been part of the same Pantheon. Thinking back, chances were humans had just interpreted the Records that bleed through and constructed their own tales based on that. History and old stories weren’t known to be the most accurate and tended to be more fiction than fact, though with the introduction of the multiverse, there were some truths here and there.

“I still think Snatchie is a good name,” Artemis muttered while looking to the side.

“Wait, are you pouting?” Jake asked as he leaned forward.

“I’m not,” Artemis insisted.

“You totally are!” Jake laughed and pointed.

“I told you. I’m not,” Artemis said, trying to sound resolute, though Jake could still see she was one hundred percent pouting after having her idea shut down.

“You know what, I think we both learned a valuable lesson today,” Jake chuckled. “We’re both equally terrible at naming things. But you do know what that means, right?”

“What?” Artemis asked, humoring him.

“We’ll have to ask others for input when the time comes,” Jake continued to joke around, as Artemis looked even more confused now than before.

“When the time comes for what?”

“Ah, never mind, it doesn’t matter,” Jake waved her off, still with a cheeky smile. “We’ll have plenty of time to decide. At least I assume so. Say, on a totally unrelated note, how is the reproductive cycle of enlightened creatures affected by the system? Specifically, gestation periods.”

Artemis looked like she was about to answer his question seriously until she realized what he was getting at. Jake really had to hold himself back from laughing as he saw her head turn slightly red before she quickly got her involuntary response under control.

“I should brand you a heretic for that kind of joke,” Artemis said, also leaning forward.

“You wouldn’t be the first one to try. Actually, thinking back, I think the last one who tried to brand me a heretic also did it shortly after coming onto me,” Jake said with a smile, remembering the Hive Queen way back then.

Artemis looked Jake directly in the eyes before sighing. “Sometimes, I wonder what I’ve gotten myself into.”

Jake was about to say something, but before he could do so, he was thrown back onto the couch, a wood elf goddess sitting on top of him. A pair of lips covered his a second later, and at that point, his only response was to reciprocate. He moved his hands to hold Artemis, but before he could, she stopped him.

He felt a tinge of pain on his lower lip as Artemis leaned back, licking her own as a drop of Jake’s blood had gotten onto them.

“Be satisfied with that,” Artemis said teasingly as she pushed herself off him while still keeping eye contact. “For now.”

If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it’s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

Jake wanted to say something, but just shook his head instead. “You know, if you’re that insistent on Snatchie…”

“Hm?” Artemis said, acting ignorant. “No, deciding on the name is wholly up to you. My involvement will only be auxiliary at best. In the end, the Warpsnatcher is not mine to name.”

“Then- “

“But I will have veto for our firstborn,” Artemis said, her teasing smile back. “No rush, though. In your words, we’ll have plenty of time to decide when the time comes. Now, I have some matters to attend to, so I’ll see you in a couple of days. My absence should also give the Warpsnatcher plenty of time to acclimate. Oh, and don’t miss me too much. Being overly clingy is such a turnoff.”

With those words, and before Jake could say anything, she teleported away, leaving him back on the couch with a slightly bleeding lip. Jake raised a finger and swiped it off as he chuckled to himself. “Should be careful about teasing a goddess too much. Or not.”

Standing up, Jake stretched a bit. He was pretty damn sure that Artemis had no business but just made up an excuse to leave. It was a bit unfortunate, but Jake still felt in a way better mood as he headed down toward the cellar where the little fella who had yet to be named was busy doing his own thing.

All the loot had to be properly sorted, after all. The Warpsnatcher had its own spatial storage, but this storage seemed to mix up all the items, forcing the poor guy to sort everything once out. Jake wondered if it was some kind of compulsion, but as he surveyed the piles of loot, Jake felt like there was more to it.

The Warpsnatcher was very exact about where everything had to be placed. There was perfect spacing between the piles, and if he took a top-down look, it could almost look like the Warpsnatcher was setting up some kind of formation. Not that he could detect any mana or energy movements, but it was still possible that some form of Warpsnatcher Feng Shui concept was at work.