Chapter 1209 – “Healthy For You.”

Jake glared at the man sitting opposite him, his gaze very much communicating his murderous intent. Meanwhile, the other party didn’t seem to care in the slightest, but happily took another swig of his beer.

“Congratulations on the skill upgrade. I would have told you to try to get it done before evolving if you failed to make a bane poison in time, but it’s good to see that isn’t necessary,” the snake god said with a smile. “Granted, your bane poison is shit, but that’s only to be expected. One must slither before one can fly and all that.”

“You’re fully aware I didn’t reach out because I wanted feedback on my poisons,” Jake said in an annoyed voice before taking a mouthful of beer for himself. After putting down the bottle, he took out his token and pointed at it.

“This is the part where you tell me that final message you sent was just a prank, right?” Jake asked, his voice full of hope.

“A prank?” the Viper exclaimed, recoiling in faux offense. “I would never joke about something like that! Education is a cornerstone of the Order, and I hold the utmost respect for any and all educators.”

“I’m going to assume this is just you leaning further into the joke,” Jake insisted, refusing to believe his Patron was serious.

“I just told you, I never joked in the first place,” the Viper said with a sly grin before turning a little more serious. “Why are you so opposed to the notion? I think it would be healthy for you.”

“There’s no fucking way I’m doing it,” Jake insisted. “Besides, I would be complete shit at it. My track record should make it pretty damn clear I should be nowhere near any kind of teaching environment.”

The message Jake had received my the Viper was an advertisement talking about an upcoming lesson in the academy… one taught by the Chosen of the Malefic Viper. It didn’t include any more information than that, but it had been enough to spook the hell out of Jake.

“Perhaps your track record is part of the reason why this could be healthy for you,” the Viper smiled while remaining serious. “Look, I know things didn’t work out well the first time around you tried teaching someone, but in your defense, he wasn’t someone you should have taken as a student in the first place. I’m not saying no one could have made a good student out of him, but it would have taken someone with a lot more experience.”

Jake looked at the snake god as he continued.

“Not going to defend you and say you didn’t fuck up either, though. Because you did. You were inattentive and just let him do whatever he wanted to without any supervision or understanding of his progress while helping lead him down a self-destructive Path,” Villy said, letting out a sigh. “But what you did do well was respect his Path, no matter how broken it was.”

“Which, in my opinion, is a great argument to indeed just write this entire thing off as one big prank and move on with our lives,” Jake continued to insist.

The Viper just kept smiling as he shook his head. “Jake, what are the greatest benefits of being a human compared to other races?”

“I know what you’re getting at, but-“

“The entire human race evolves around your ability to pass down Records and teach. Your racial skills all lean further into this, and you even have a legendary profession skill dedicated to teaching,” the Viper said, not allowing Jake to protest. “Like it or not, passing down your knowledge is a part of your Path that you shouldn’t entirely neglect. I’m not saying you need to like teaching others, and in my professional opinion, you will have a hard time finding any students or disciples you truly mesh well with, but writing off teaching entirely simply isn’t an option. So, I’m giving you a perfect opportunity to have a positive experience.”

Jake was quiet as the Viper kept talking, remaining very much not keen on the entire notion.

“One lesson,” the Malefic Viper said. “Just one. Aimed at D-grades.”

“Say I go along with this… what would I even teach?” Jake asked, his skepticism having barely lessened. “You were the one who pointed out in the first place that I’m not the sort of person to learn in the traditional way. I don’t think a lesson where I tell people to “trust their instincts” will prove very useful to anyone.”

“True, but don’t sell yourself too short,” the snake god chuckled. “You’re not the most knowledgeable alchemist, and you do overly rely on your instincts and gut feelings courtesy of your Bloodline, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t still considered a brilliant alchemist in some areas. Think for a bit; aren’t there several areas of alchemy where you can’t rely on your instincts?”

Once more, Jake got quiet, considering what the Viper had said. When he did traditional alchemy, like concocting poisons or brewing potions, Jake did overly rely on his instincts and skipped several steps other alchemists would usually take. He wasn’t that careful in measuring his ingredients and was far more prone to adapting on the fly. Most alchemists went in with a very carefully constructed plan they would follow religiously from start to end, and if they found themselves in a position where they had to improvise, it meant something had gone wrong, and the crafting attempts would most likely end in failure.

Meanwhile, Jake just did what felt right, and any plan he had been one born purely from experience and not theory. To be clear, it wasn’t as if Jake was unique in this aspect; his way of crafting just required an insane level of energy control compared to more regular methodologies. Due to that, teaching his method would be quite a stupid thing to do, as chances were that not a single member of the audience would be able to make use of Jake’s experience.

However, the Viper was right that there were some areas of alchemy where Jake couldn’t rely as much on his instincts but had to be more theoretical and traditional. Especially one area instantly came to mind.

“Rituals and formations,” Jake muttered.

“What a coincidence, that’s also what I had the lesson plan mention,” Villy grinned devilishly as he waved his hand and displayed one of the advertisements for a lesson, similar to many of those Jake had seen before.

“I’ve yet to agree,” Jake pointed out.

“And I’ve yet to give you the option of backing out,” Villy shrugged. “But I’m not gonna force you. You reserve the full right to refuse if you don’t want to… but I will have already posted the lesson and allow all the hopeful young D-grades to try to qualify to attend the class. Chances are, there will be a great struggle to get a spot, and anyone who does will look forward to it like the most significant event of their lives so far.”

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A headache began to worm its way into Jake’s mind as the Viper just kept going.

“They will tell their family and friends all about how they struggled to attend the very first lesson taught by the Chosen of the Malefic Viper themselves. No doubt a celebration dinner will be held that evening, and all their peers will be full of envy. They will count down the days until finally it’s time. With trepidation, they will find somewhere to sit or stand, likely showing up way too early to make sure they don’t miss even a single second of your lesson… but I guess if you never show up, it will just be their loss.”

“You’re a real asshole, you know that, right?” Jake said, glaring at the Viper.

“And you’re a heretic, but you don’t see me pointing fingers and throwing insults,” the snake god shrugged while continuing to wear that damn proud grin on his face, knowing he had effectively cornered Jake.

“Aren’t you afraid it will also make you look bad if I don’t show up?”

“Why would it?” the Viper shrugged. “It’s your lesson, not mine. I don’t even think it would make you look that bad if you didn’t show up; you can just make up some excuse, and everyone will buy it wholesale. Of course, that doesn’t mean the hearts of the young hopefuls are any less broken, and they’ll forever mourn the loss, telling themselves that you would have been there if you in any way could, but that certainly far more important matters had forced you away.”

“I’m going to get you back for this,” Jake muttered.