069 – Jane, 1/2

It is important to note, dear petitioner, that the Sovereign Cities are not sovereign at all. They like this name because it suits their egos to call themselves powers unto themselves, able to do whatever they wish. In truth, the powers of the region are hateful, awful, and cruel, and the people who live there are a product of their governance, and themselves.

To put it bluntly, the Sovereign Cities are the true arseholes of Glaquin.

The Wasteland Kingdoms is separated from itself by [Teleport] distances and toxic monsters, while a ruling council decides matters of war and policy, and a lower council decides on trade. They were once a thriving world power, but when toxic ideology took hold and ruined everything, a few hard working young whippersnappers and their level headed patrons reigned in their self destruction. If it weren’t for the few people in charge able to hold together the greater whole of their people, the Wasteland certainly would have become another region like the Sovereign Cities. Some say the Greensoil Republic was responsible for the Wasteland, some say that the Sovereign Cities were the true culprits, but I don’t know the truth. I don’t truck with rumor.

As for the Greensoil Republic, it took ‘em centuries and they’re still working on it, but those humans managed to carve out a semblance of order from without and within, mostly through horrific acts of violence committed against each other, hand in glove with powerful trade agreements. To this day, the Republic spans one of the largest tamed stretches of land on Veird, and the Viridian King works hard to keep it that way. Some say his Green Circle kills all dissidents; but you didn’t hear that rumor from me.

The cities of the Crystal Forest are each jewels in the sand, too far from one another to truly impinge upon each other’s brilliance. Besides, there’s monsters outside the walls, dammit! There’s better things to do than get up in each other’s pockets all the damn time. But not all is well in that wild land. I hear Ar’Kendrithyst is gearing up for something big, so you best watch out if you plan on traveling the Crystal Forest. And then there’s the tiff brewing between Portal and Spur. I hear it’s over the price of grain and the abundance of Spur’s new cropland, so try to steer clear of that, too, if you can help it.

The Wasteland, the Republic, and the cities of the Crystal Forest. These are the major players of Glaquin, and in each one, the rule of Polite Society reigns, and there are enough thriving bookmakers and authors to pump out enough dogma and propaganda to keep their governments intact; if you believe in that sort of thing, anyway. Stories of heartbreak and death, of journeys and destinations, of tragedy and comedy. And of course, the backstabbing and the murder and the toppling of opposing kingdoms. That last one is a popular trope in both the Wasteland and the Republic, but not so much in the Crystal Forest.

But in the Sovereign Cities, there are barely any stories at all. Sure, they have the Script, but only for those lucky enough to escape the grasp of their armies, but furthermore: who owns a book? Certainly not Anna-down-the-way. She prefers to seduce her neighbor Tommy into her bed, and then to wring him for blackmail because Tommy is a married man, whose wife is looking for the littlest excuse to legally murder him. Adultery is as good a legal reason as any, in that lawless place.

Those damn little Sovereign city states are all cesspools of violence, hatred, and killing, where the land is tame enough that the only monsters running around are slimes, the occasional ooze, and your fellow man. Though those occasional oozes do manage to kill a few hundred people every now and then, the constant wars of the region do more damage than that. I have a question for you: Which is worse? An ooze or a greedy king! It’s a question that’s floated around for centuries and will likely float around for a lot more.

There, in the Sovereign Cities, is where you will find the brigands of the world. The harlots and the cheats. The dirty and the pitiful. I’m sure if you look hard enough, you might see a young man or woman who’ll become a hero or something, but there’s a mighty higher chance those bright blue eyes or comely backsides or frontsides are just that; a front. You better keep your own watchful eyes on those that speak too-good-to-be-true stories, or ask for just a bit of trust, or to come heal their ailing grandma just two doors down, or to help rescue their cat stuck up a tree. They’ll kill you just as soon as pick your pocket. Oh! And the pickpockets! And the urchins! Don’t forget those little devils. You take your eyes off of them once and a whole herd of em’ll pour out of the shanties and murder you for your gold.

It has been postulated by men and women and otherwise, each of them much more learned than I, that the Sovereign Cities can afford to act this way because they only have the one border against the one real enemy, and Killtree takes care of them. The rest of the Cities don’t do shit against what should be a common foe.

Make no mistake, dear petitioner. For all the wars and all the killing, there’s only one real enemy: The Forest. And not that ‘Crystal Forest’ nonsense. I mean a real forest, with real trees. Yeah. You know what I’m talking about. Unicorns and wyrms. Moon reachers and shroomspawn. Dragons living out in the open, hunting wolves and deer larger than houses.

In the border villages, nearer to that dark land, they speak of the Forest with reverence and hatred in equal measure. In the southern cities, far from the front line, they speak of the Forest with disdain and dismissal, because didn’t you hear about what North Curio is doing with their wheat prices? Will South Curio rein them in, or will there be another Grain War? Those arseholes will go to war over practically any little thing.

They’re just going to war to kill the common folk, you know. Everyone with even a lick of sense knows this, but the kids still sign up for whichever force is recruiting, hoping for three square meals a day and the shield of a fellow warrior guarding their blind spot, and a chance to be allowed to Matriculate into the Script. Can’t really blame the kids. They raise ‘em in ignorance over there. Try to keep the people dumb and docile. Book burning is a valued pastime in those places. And don’t you dare speak against the people in charge while you’re over there, or you’re likely to be found dead in your bed from ‘natural causes’.

Anyway. Back to the exposition you paid for.

North Curio hates South Curio. The going rumor for the last two hundred years is that North wishes to be the only ‘Curio’, and for there to be no distinction at all because South Curio should be a smoldering firepit, not a thriving city. South Curio hates North Curio, because they want to pick a different name, but because of some old laws, they can’t change their name unless North Curio changes their name, first.

Pearl, nary two [Teleport]s south of the Curios, wishes the Curios would just kill each other already. No one likes those blasted northerners. And they both keep raising the price of wheat! Burn them both and let the slimes take over for all anyone cares; that’s Pearl’s stance.

Charme is of much the same mind as Pearl, but rather than burning both Curios to the ground, they want to burn everything to the ground, including Pearl. Some would say that Charme even wants to burn itself to the ground, too. Pearl and both Curios are mostly indifferent to Charme, because Charme can’t get its bumbling royalty to make up its mind regarding any outside matters. The land of five hundred princes, they call it. If you ever meet a Prince of Charme on the street, run the other way if you value your life. Those people’re just as likely to conscript you into some unwinnable war as they are to shank you and take your gold like some common highwayman. Between you and me, it’s hard to see the difference. A robbery is death by one or two cuts, right there and then, while the army is death by one or two cuts somewhere in the next two months, at the hand of some other poor arsehole standing in the same boots as you, but holding onto a different flag.

And then we’re back to Killtree. For all the ‘good’ they do ‘defending’ the ‘land’ from the Forest, that place is a pile of shit. Full of adventurers looking to die, but with a higher level and in more exotic ways than the rest of us. Best to stay away from that sort of place.

Ah, but yeah. The Forest. Killtree is the only place that puts any resources to fighting the Forest; they’re the northernmost Sovereign City, so that makes sense. But they’re just doing it for their own good, don’t you know? All they care about is money, too. Grand rads, wyrm kills, unicorn season, experience farms, bordellos and houses of ill repute. That’s what they’re about.

… What do you mean bordello and houses of ill repute are the same? No, they’re not. Bordellos are classy places… Or was it the other way around? Whatever. They got holes where you can stick your stick, or get stuck, or just do some heavy grinding if that’s your thing. I ain’t judging.

Black markets are just markets over there.

Be careful of the meat you buy. That’s all I’m saying on that.

I will say one good thing about that place: They have a hard-on for killing doppelgangers like you would not believe. There’s no laws against killing people suspected of not being who they look like. This, as you can imagine, leads to a lot of problems. But at least there’s no Cinnabar Hand over there.

Killtree is still a shithole, though. Best not go there if you can help it.

Ah! One more good thing: At least they’re mostly human over there in the Sovereign Cities. Can’t say that about the rest of the lands of Glaquin.

The Knowledge mage leaned back in his chair. He was an ancient human man, with white hair and piercing, dark eyes. He asked, “That enough of an overview for you?”

Jane stood up from her chair, saying, “Yup. That’s about what I’ve already heard. Thanks for the trouble.”

The Knowledge Mage asked, “You sure you ain’t wantin’ something more specific?”

Jane smiled, then said, “Then you could sell that to someone else.”

“Bah!” He pointed to the door. “Go on then. Go commit murder in the Cities and get yourself a fresh Familiar Form. Not like they can stop ya. I’ll just let you know, though, that the Cinnabar Hand does not recruit people like you, and they do not operate out of the Sovereign Cities. That’s not rumor. That’s fact.”

Jane frowned at the man. She said, “I know you’re baiting me into revealing something, but implying murder? Really? That’s just shameful.”

“Ah! So you’re going after something a bit more—”

Jane walked out of the room, saying, “Bye.”

Light chuckling laughter followed Jane out of the Knowledge Mage’s office.

 

– – – –

 

The Knowledge Mage had been right. Killtree was a shithole, but it was still Jane’s destination.

Mud layered Jane’s boots while a dreary sky held above, sprinkling a light rain across the land. If the road under Jane’s feet had ever been solid, it hadn’t been solid in Jane’s lifetime. She walked to the side of a practical river of mud, splattering dirt with every step, while cow-drawn carts and people plodded along, scattering brown puddles as they went, each to their own destinations. The unclean scent of mostly humanity struggled against the rain, fighting to make itself known. Jane breathed easy right now, but she knew that she would be choking if the downpour wasn’t keeping the scent down.

Almost all the buildings around her were wooden shacks, but to call them ‘buildings’ was rather charitable. The planks forming the walls were only half there, with inch-thick gaps separating each plank from the next. The roofs were marginally better. From what Jane had seen on her trip into town, the roofs were generally made of wood and thatch. From what Jane had seen of the people, with their torn clothes and dirty faces, if water poured though a rotted roof, she doubted they cared.

Like. The Script was right fucking there. How the hell could people live like this when [Stoneshape] was a single point away? Ugh! It almost drove Jane insane, but she let it go. She tried not to think too hard about whatever governmental fuckery was going on around here. Registrars for the Script were illegal around here; they got chased out unless they got a local patron, while that patron only allowed people to Matriculate if those people joined their army for a period of however many years. Jane wasn’t sure on that part. She doubted that it was a set number of years, at all.

Some people obviously did have access to [Stoneshape], though.

Grey stone buildings held prominent positions in the city, but they were few and far between. Much more common were squat stone guard towers here and there; like mushrooms growing in a mishmash of wooden shacks.

What was really strange about the whole experience of coming to Killtree, and what still threw Jane for a loop, was that there was no city wall. Jane had walked past shacks, and guard towers, and farmland under heavy guard to get to here, but she had never seen a wall, at all.

A child ran past, barely touching Jane.

The child got three meters ahead before she slowed down. She turned, and with a dirty face and matted hair, she yelled, “Whatsa poor prick like you who don’t got no gold! Piss off, wanker!”

The girl ran off, splattering mud as she stomped away, no doubt to try her pickpocketing against someone else. Jane had prepared for thieves; except for her badge and a few coins hidden in her boots, all of her stuff was in a safe location, back in the mountains that she crossed to get to the Sovereign Cities.

But something had still led that little thief to believe that Jane was rich. Was it her clothes? Couldn’t be. Jane wore brown leathers and tan cloth, with a brown leather cloak to ward off the rain, like almost everyone else around her. No [Conjure Armor] today. She had even left her rings behind. Jane missed the extra Stats, but she certainly did not need artifacts of that quality on her person, as she traveled this awful land. Besides, she would likely need to resort to [Fire Body] and her flame ooze sooner or later.

Jane looked around. No one else on the streets wore anything nicer than dirty linen or marred leathers.

Oh. Shit. Duh. Jane was looking around, exactly like a tourist would. She quickly resumed her forward journey, acting like she belonged, not really looking at anything in particular—

That failed thief wasn’t the only one who had spotted Jane.

To the side of the road, above the mud and atop a short tower of stone, a pair of Killtree guards, wearing full [Conjure Armor], one red, the other maroon, stared down at Jane. Red tapped Maroon on the shoulder, saying something quiet. Jane averted her eyes from everyone and especially from the guards. She walked forward, under the watch of their guard tower.

The guards called to her. “Oy!”

Jane kept walking.

“Oy! Outsider girl! You don’t stop this’ll go bad for you.”

Jane paused, reluctantly.

“Yeah. You hear us.”

The air and rain shifted in front of Jane. A blip of red resolved into Red. A blip of dark red resolved into Maroon. Both of them were the cleanest people Jane had seen since her arrival in town. Red was a dude not much older than Jane. Maroon could have been Red’s brother.

Red asked, “Who are you, what do you want with Killtree?”

Maroon held out a truthstone. The stone glowed faintly green under the rain.

Jane looked at the stone, then at the men. She said, “To kill monsters. I’m here for the unicorn hunt.”

Maroon held the bright green stone up, then hummed.

Red glanced from the stone to Jane, saying, “Good answer. Do you think you can kill one, or should we run you out of town now?”

“I am a hundred percent positive I would be a boon to any Hunt.”

The stone continued to glow bright green, as rain fell all around.

Red frowned.

Maroon tucked the stone away, saying, “You know where to go?”

“Yup.”

“Good.” Maroon said, “Get there fast.”

Maroon [Blink]ed back up to the guard tower.

Red took one more look at Jane, and said, “Those nightmares are dangerous, you know.”

“They’re not the only ones,” Jane deferred.

Red smirked, then nodded. He blipped away, back up to his tower. He called down to Jane, “You be careful out there, adventurer. If the unicorns don’t get you, other people will. The Hunt draws all kinds.”

Jane nodded at the guards, and walked forward.

Rain fell. Mud splashed. People went where they needed to go. Carts and cows plodded by, each carrying their goods to wherever they needed to be. And Jane continued on her way. She took a right at an intersection, and spotted the Guildhouse.

The Guildhouse of Killtree was a collection of large stone buildings with a low stone wall surrounding the whole estate. The central structure was largest of the buildings, and twice the height of the stone towers all around the shanties of Killtree. That large building must have been the main guildhouse, for a central pair of double doors stood open. Sunlight shone out of those double doors, into the rain, setting the weather to glittering like suspended diamonds. Jane stepped toward—

Two people in the meager crowd stepped lightly behind Jane. One lifted a dagger to her back, the other stabbed sideways across her neck. Both weapons skittered across dark blue energy, doing little actual damage. Both attackers cursed, loud and quick, as Jane responded to their attack. A dark blue dagger plunged deep into the stomach of the first man. Another dark blue dagger went through the neck of the second. They gurgled, and died.

Jane had [Hunter’s Instinct] running ever since she left the guards, with [Invisible Rejuvenation] ticking off occasionally to keep her HP high. She had seen her attackers well before they attacked. She had seen their dirty metal knives, and the absolute desperation in their faces. She didn’t want to kill them, but they had honestly tried to kill her first. Whatever their reason for their actions they got exactly what they deserved. If Jane had just let them off with a warning they would have gone on to kill someone else.

It was an awful calculus, but the math did not lie.

A few onlookers lifted their heads to see her kill her attackers, but no one said anything. Some walked faster. Some didn’t seem to care at all. One man on the other side of the street even laughed as half a dozen children poured out of a nearby alleyway, rushing for the bodies Jane had dropped. One of the kids was the girl from before; the attempted pickpocket. She flashed Jane a wicked smile as she began pulling off the boots from Jane’s first attacker.

Jane’s eyes went wide at the girl.

The girl must have recognized that Jane was deciding what to do with her, because she instantly dropped the man’s leg, leaving the half-removed boot behind as she ran back into the alleyway, vanishing into the shadows of the shanties. Jane could easily track her… but… should she?

Had that girl just played Jane into killing for her?

While a rare moment of indecision struck Jane to her very core, and her conjured daggers dissipated from the bodies, the remaining kids stripped the fresh corpses of any and all goods. They rapidly left nothing behind but pale remains, face down in the mud. Jane backed away from the dead. She controlled her breathing as she turned toward the guildhouse. She walked on, hopefully leaving behind whatever had just happened.

Jane felt the eyes of people watching her as she walked toward the stone guildhouse, but nothing happened as she stepped past the low stone wall and onto the stone tiles of guildhouse property. No environmental [Ward] hung in the air around this place. It did smell a bit nicer than the rest of the city, though. Like rain and stone, instead of mud and mold and unkempt hair.

She walked forward, into the light pouring out of the open double doors, into a stone tavern that smelled of spice and ale. Voices carried all around her. People in armor, both real and conjured, sat around talking to each other, discussing hunts and battlefield tactics. Jane stepped to the side as a pair of women in armor walked past her, flipping their hooded cloaks over their heads as they stepped out into the rain.

Jane tried to ignore what had happened in the muddy streets as she went to find the counter and the quest board.

 

– – – –

 

A man named Rohn, decked out in full, off-white [Conjure Armor], stood at the head of a classroom. A large blackboard filled the wall behind him while a secretary stood by, ready to change the image on the blackboard at Rohn’s discretion. Currently, half of the blackboard was a map of the lands north of Killtree, while the other half was filled with the image of a cut-off collar. It was a plain band of iron to be worn like a crown. The secretary held an actual cut-off collar in her hands, right now, holding it up for all to see.

Jane was one out of two dozen new-to-the-area adventurers, sitting on wooden benches in that classroom, listening to the man talk about unicorns. Almost everyone in the room was human. Jane sat mostly alone, but some stragglers for the required lecture had taken up spots close to her; a fidgety looking human man, and the only incani in the room. She was a laid back woman with big black horns and dark purple skin. The incani yawned, as Rohn talked. It was not her first yawn since entering the room.

Rohn took the iron band cut-off collar from his secretary, saying, “We’ve already gone over the map, but now we’ll go over this. This is rather standard fare for a unicorn hunt, as I have been explaining. This is how you put it on.” He put the collar on his head, like a crown. “Very simple stuff!” He added, “If you don’t wear a collar, you—”

The incani woman raised her hand.

Rohn looked to her, his eyes full of annoyance. He sighed out, “What?”

“Why’s it called a collar when it goes on yer head?”

Rohn frowned at her. “Because it collars a part of you. It is not an enhancing effect.”

“Right right.” The woman smirked, saying, “Thanks.”

Rohn sighed, then took off the collar, and said, “I’ve lists of people who sell these, or you can buy one from the Guild. They’re a hundred gold apiece—”

Several people in the classroom mumbled complaints.

“— and they’ll serve you well. But they won’t block everything.” He handed the collar to his secretary. “Which is why you must venture in groups to hunt unicorns. Unicorns are Light Essence monsters of the highest order. Their most pervasive effect is an aura that makes the world look pretty. Nothing is able to block this effect, for it is not mind magic, but a trick of the light. If the mangled faces of your ugly partners start to look pretty, you better have a blocking effect in place, because if you don’t, you’re gonna start frolicking in the streets and getting frisky in ways you never thought possible.

“But if your partners have their blocking measures in place, what they’re going to see is your dumb ass playing around with knives and your own beautiful innards.” Rohn stressed, “Maybe, if you’ve been a decent enough partner, your teammates will see fit to wrestle you down and slam a cut-off collar on your head.” He added, “Maybe.”

Rohn looked around the room, saying, “Chances are, of the twenty five people sitting here, three of you might make it back. If you manage to kill a unicorn you’ll be hailed a hero, and then be expected to go right back out, only to face slightly better odds. If you manage to make it all the way through a season you can call yourself a veteran unicorn hunter. In such an unlikely event, you’ll have won yourself a nobility from the King.”

“Fuck your nobility,” said a guy on the other side of the room. “I just want to get paid.”

A small chorus of agreement spread, but was quickly stifled by a heavy hatred, spreading in the room like an invisible miasma. Jane watched as half of the room looked at the other half, some with expressions of disbelief, others with open, silent hatred.

Rohn frowned deeply. He steadied himself and purposefully did not look at the guy who spoke up, as he spoke to everyone, “I can look around this room and tell that most of you are not from here. This is your only warning. Disrespect your betters at your peril. Our King and Queen and entire Court keep this land free so that you can do as you please.” He stared at the offender, and said, “Speak that way again and I will do as I please, and take your head.”

The man in the audience said nothing.

Rohn said, “Good.” He added, “You can listen to your betters. This bodes well for your chances out there and in Killtree.” He gestured toward his secretary. The woman shifted the blackboard to the next image, this time done in colored chalk. Rohn gestured toward the drawing, saying, “This is the classical, undamaged form of a unicorn.”

The unicorn was a thick, white horse. More a clydesdale than an arabian, the monster was layered with enough muscle to shame a bodybuilder. Its mane flowed long, fluffy, and prismatic, like a rainbow cloud. Similar clouds of fur trailed away from its hooves and tail. Its singular horn was a half-twisted, perfect spike of rainbow radiance the size of its long head, while its eyes were pools of black.

Rohn said, “The average unicorn stands at three meters tall, from ground to back, meaning five meters from floor to tip of the horn. We’ve seen unicorns twice that size. We’ve seen runts half that size. The largest ones have an aura that covers dozens of kilometers. We send our Elites after those, so if you see one larger than six meters tall, run and report; this is your job in that specific situation.” He added, “Otherwise you’re expected to kill the beast and bring the corpse in for proper identification.”

He gestured toward his secretary. She changed the blackboard.

The drawing of a unicorn transformed into a nightmare. The singular horn was joined by a ring of lesser horns surrounding its entire head, like a ring of rainbow light. Its entire body turned dark, like night. The largest change was to its face. The mouth was a maw like a lamprey’s, circular and lined with teeth and tentacles.

Rohn said, “This is the tame version of a damaged unicorn. It gets much worse than this if any of your people are missing their mental protection. I’ve seen damaged unicorns made of teeth or eyes, or worse. Some of you might think that this means you should go alone. This would be a mistake. You will undoubtedly find other people who have made this mistake and subsequently become thralls to the unicorn.

“The deadliness of the unicorn shows in four ways. The first, is a mental domination effect. If you are subjected to this at any point in time, you will never come back from the hunt. The second is its light-based illusions. This is why you fight unicorns in a group! It is almost impossible for a unicorn to construct good enough illusions to confound and confuse four people, but if you’re a solo hunter, you will die to something you never saw coming.” He added, “Or you could become a thrall. Unicorns are not like normal monsters. Sometimes, the illusions can make you want to remove your collar, or revert your [Polymorph] form. This is obviously a bad thing, but the ability for a unicorn to do this is directly relative to how many people are in your group. Three is the minimum recommended number. Four is better. But quality is better than quantity. If you go in with a bunch of idiots, they could fall to the unicorn and become yet another problem.

“The third danger of a unicorn is their speed and physical power. These monsters are fast and their secondary ability, known as [Aura of Freedom], will make all your attempts to control the unicorn rather useless. Unicorns run through walls of stone. They disappear behind trees. They walk right over [Force Trap]s without triggering the spell. They are uncaptureable. Most of your spells will shoot wide. [Force Beam]s bend. [Force Bolt]s twist and go off course.” Rohn added, “Unicorns will run at the first sign of real trouble. They are fast.”

He continued, “I have already mentioned the fourth danger you will find when facing unicorns, but I will say it this way: unicorns don’t only transform people into thralls. They also capture the minds of other monsters. Vinespawns are a favored thrall, so watch your footing. Light slimes spontaneously generate in unicorn territory, but the unicorns relentlessly hunt, kill, and eat, any light slime they find. There are historical records of radiant oozes killing unicorns, so you shouldn’t find any of those monsters. If you do find a radiant ooze then you will know that the unicorn got what it deserved, and you come right back here and report the presence of the ooze. The Elites will take care of them.”

Rohn said, “You might find yourself facing a horde of monsters, or people, or mixed company, in addition to the unicorn leading them all.” He said, “I will say this so it’s not a shock out on the field: all those people are still alive, but most of them are in the process of becoming monsters. Most of them will try to bargain for their new master, to get you to lower your guard. When that fails, they, and the unicorn, will attack you in some of the most complicated and coordinated formations that you will ever see. Some of the people are monsters already. They won’t have access to the magic they had in life. Some of them are simply dominated. They will cast and [Strike] at you with all the power they had as a free soul.” He added, “Take solace that you won’t have to kill children. The unicorns eat those.”

Rohn said, “A full unicorn corpse is worth 20 grand. If it’s missing the horn, the price drops to 5 grand. If all you turn in to the Guild is the horn, you’ll get 10 grand. The breakdowns for the other body parts are listed downstairs. I know a lot of you are after the Light Essence in the creature, and some of you are even after the [Polymorph] form. This is fine. Good luck controlling the urges of your unicorn form. You should consider the unicorn as taking up two slots, just to be safe.” He said, “If you don’t already have a group, you should get one. Else you’re just going to die out there, or make a bigger problem for someone else.”

Rohn finished with an exasperated, “Your participation in this briefing has been noted in your guild record; you are now cleared for a unicorn hunt. If you wish to purchase a collar they’re for sale downstairs in the guild store.” He added, “A few of you came to this lecture by yourself. Others came in with one or two others. I repeat: any fight with a unicorn without at least two spears at your side is doomed to utter, bloody failure.” He said, “Hopefully most of you are smart enough to avoid the fate of the unprepared adventurer, but I doubt it. I suggest for solos, duos, and trios, to stick around after I’m gone, and to form a quad, at least.”

“One last thing. Those of you hoping to go through this fight with a slime form, you should know that unicorns really like eating slimes. Almost as much as they like eating children.” He spoke to the room, “Those of you that might possess an ooze form should be aware that unicorns will instantly consider you the largest threat on the battlefield, and will act accordingly.”

Rohn left the room. His secretary followed him out. Two dozen people started talking all at once. Several stood up and made for the door.

The only orcol in the room stood up, speaking loud, “Who’s the ooze? I’m a mind mage shooting for certification. This is my final test. I want you on my team.”

A group of five walked out of the room together with one loud guy who said, “You’d have to be an idiot to get on a team with an ooze.”

A group of four followed the five, mumbling agreements.

Two people in a three person team poked the third member. The third person, a human man, stood up, saying, “We’re not the ooze. But we could use a mind mage, even if you’re not accredited yet.”

The orcol looked at them. He said, “Nope. You’re all going to die.”

“What!” A woman in the trio stood up, saying, “What the fuck. Fuck off. ‘Mind mage’ my ass.” She grabbed her partners, saying, “We’re out of here.”

Her partners followed her walk out of the room. The room had thinned, fast. The only people remaining on the benchs were solos, duos, and trios.

The incani next to Jane yawned again, then said, “Looks like ya’ right, mister almost mind mage. Those tossers gonna die pretty damn fast.” She stood up, stifling another yawn. She spoke to the remainders in the room, “I’m a Polymage going for a unicorn. I want the heart and the brain, and care naught for the rest of the kill. I don’t have ooze, but I do have more than enough capability in my water slime form.” She tapped a hand on the shoulder of the fidgety human man with her. She said, “He’s with me. Control Mage.”

Jane spoke up, “I’d get in on that. I’m the ooze. I also have [Greater Treat Wounds]. But then we’d have to kill two unicorns. I want the brain and the heart, too.”

The incani woman winced, muttering, “Fuck.”

Three people instantly stood up in the crowd. They all shouted at once.

“You can have the body if you stay all season.”

“I just need one horn.”

“I need the blood for potions of [Heal] and [Restore Mind]!”

The mind mage orcol said, “You have [Heal]?”

“Yeah, I have [Heal]. And [Restore Mind],” said a thin, middle aged man. “I also have [Greater Treat Wounds].”

The mind mage said to him, knowingly, “You best stay home. You’re gonna die if you go out there. Buy the blood from an Elite.”

“Those assholes charge too much.” He said, “This is my last resort.”

“Desperate.” The mind mage said, “That does not bode well.”

The healer man stood staunch. He said, “I see I have made the mistake of allowing you to dictate the flow of this conversation. Piss off, greenskin.” He spoke to the room. “Who wants one of the best healers you will ever find?” He asked a nearby duo. “What are you two going after?”

“Nobility,” said the one.

“The right to build a house of stone,” said the other. “So: nobility.”

“I can last a season,” said the Healer. “Anyone else want to come along?”

The incani woman spoke up, saying, “We’d—”

“I don’t truck with your kind, and all you want is one kill. You can piss right off, too,” said the Healer. “Anyone else?”

In seconds, Healer and four others left, together.

A solo man said, “I think I ought to go back to the Crystal Forest.” He pointed at the blackboard, where the image of the unicorn still lay. “I didn’t expect that.” He added, “Also. This place is a shithole.”

A different man instantly punched the solo man, sending the solo man to the floor, as he shouted, “This is my home, arsehole!”

The solo man held his jaw, then said, “Get chomped, mudman.” He vanished in a blip of orange.

“Fucking high and mighty—” Punchy man spoke up, “Ooze girl? You from around here?”

Jane said, “No.”

Incani woman instantly turned to Jane. “I’ll hunt for two unicorns.” As the man with her nodded furiously, the woman added, “Maybe you can tell me how you managed to make your ooze, since you’re obviously going for Polymage. Right? We can swap stories. It’ll be a lot easier the second time around, anyway.”

Jane said, “I’m good with killing two of them.”

“Fuck— Fine!” The mind mage orcol stepped toward Jane, saying, “I want in on this. Incani, you two humans. That’s four of us—”

Punchy man, one of only five others left, yelled, “Fucking foreigners. You’re all the same.” He turned to the five other people left in the room, filling the room with his voice as he said, “You all seem like a good lot.” He singled out a guy, saying, “You. You’re from Lancebush, ain’t you?”

“Yeah,” said a suddenly happy sounding dude from Lancebush, sitting with another guy. “Me and my buddy here both. Unicorns killed his sister years ago. We’re finally gitten some revenge.”

Punchy man said, “Now that’s a good dude there!” He slapped the other man’s shoulder, saying, “Hey good for you.” He asked, “You look familiar, too. You got a ma or some woman that looks like you? She run the vegetable shack by the river?”

Happy guy smiled, saying, “Yeah. That’s my Maw!” He added, “Ya might’ve seen my aunt, though. They’re twins.”

The punchy man and the remaining five people all started talking with each other, while mind mage orcol, fidgety man, and sleepy incani, all came to Jane.

The mind mage orcol, easily eight foot tall with green skin and short black hair, said, “Name’s Marric. Nice to meet you.”

The incani woman said, “Bett.”

The man, who looked rather wired on coffee, or something, now that Jane was looking at him, said, “Scallion.”

Jane said, “Jane.”

Marric looked to Jane, saying, “You’re rather okay with killing two of them. You haven’t even seen one yet, have you?”

“I killed a pack of moon reachers just last week. Solo.” Jane said, “So why don’t you stop with the judgment.”

Scallion quickly itched his arm, then controlled himself enough to string together, “We have a team— we can work out the particulars back at base— please let’s go I want to go now.” He looked at Bett. “Time to leave.”

Bett lovingly, quickly placed her hand on Scallion’s shoulder. “Go ahead. I’ll catch up.”

Scallion turned from Jane to Marric, saying, “Sorry I just need to—” He vanished in a blip of purple.

Bett spoke over the dissipating purple light, saying, “He’s got a problem. Nothing personal, I hope you understand.”

Jane did not understand at all, but she said, “Sure. That’s fine.”

Bett said, “We got a base over a ways. [Stoneshape]d comfort if you two want to—”

“What the damn.” Punchy stepped toward Bett, saying, “I couldn’t help but overhear that you foreigners got a base on our land?”

Bett sighed out, then said, “It’s not on your la—”

Punchy stepped to Bett—

Bett laid him out with a solid smack to the side of the head, cracking Punchy’s jaw and tumbling the man over the student benches. As his friends looked on in shock, some of them stood from their chairs.

Bett spoke to Punchy’s new friends, “Can you let him know that if he wasn’t trying to come at me, I apologize. Otherwise, I already had to kill five of you mudfuckers since I got here. What’s five more to add ta’ the pile?”

Rohn spoke from the doorway. “Miss Bett.” He pointed at Bett with a stack of paperwork. “Please leave the mudfuckers alive and unmolested when on guild property.”

Bett turned to the guildmaster, saying, “As you wish.”

Punchy’s new friends tended to him, lifting the semi-unconscious man up onto a bench. Jane almost offered to heal the man. He was obviously loopy and brain rattles could go bad, rather unexpectedly. But she wanted to punch him, too. Bett just beat her to it and had a better reason to lay the man out. Punchy was coming for her, just like he came for that other guy.

Rohn looked from Punchy, then to Bett, then from Marric to Jane. “You three outsiders— Where’s the fourth?”

“Already gone to base.” Bett added, “Outside of Killtree. In the mountains, sir.”

Punchy came to, groggy and almost speaking coherent words. His new friends were certainly speaking coherent words, though, and Jane did not like any of the epithets or threats that came out of their mouths.

Rohn spoke over the burgeoning noise, “Setting up an illegal, defensible base on Killtree land is punishable with death, but a base in the mountains is not a base on Killtree land.” Rohn separated a single folder from his stack of documents, and handed it to Marric. The orcol took the paperwork, then nodded. Rohn took another folder and handed it to a man in Punchy’s group. “Why don’t everyone just go their own ways, quick as you can, and we can leave this Strength measuring contest for some other day.” He added, “[Teleport]ing out of Killtree is fine. [Teleport]ing in, is another matter entirely.”

“A very good idea, guildmaster.” Bett held out her hands to Jane and Marric. “Trust me, yet?”

Marric took Bett’s hand without hesitation. Jane…

Jane grabbed her other hand. Bett smiled. A flash of purple filled Jane’s vision for a brief moment. Suddenly, they were some unknown distance away. Likely a full thousand kilometers if their base was really outside of Killtree land. The sky stretched overhead as green fields of tall grass swayed in the breeze.

Bett said, “Once more.”

Another flash of purple moved Jane, Bett, and Marric another distance away, to the steep slopes of a grey mountain. Tiny flowers bloomed in the cracks of the rocks all around, while the nearest trees were a good hundred meters down the slope. They were not the trees of a forest, just scraggly things, barely more than bushes. Past all that, kilometers away, laid grassy hills absolutely covered in flowers of all colors, stretching out to the horizon.

Bett dropped Jane’s and Marric’s hands, saying, “Thank Hell that’s over.”

Jane turned around, [Hunter’s Instincts] flaring, but finding nothing too alarming.

Bett had landed them near a large depression in the stone mountain. One or both of Bett or Scallion had carved a nice stone house into the solid granite. It was two stories large, at least, and set ten meters deep into the mountainside. It was almost completely hidden from every view, except directly, and even then the architecture was stone-like. It blended in with the rest of the mountain. Even if someone looked up from those flowery fields, they might not see this base of operations.

Scallion sat on a bench outside the house, looking much more relaxed than in the guildhouse. He wasn’t obviously fidgeting, for one. At Bett’s appearance he stood up and smiled. He said, “That place is a disaster.”

Bett walked toward him, saying, “Yeah. But this is where the unicorns are.” She turned to Jane and Marric saying, “We can put the illusions up when we’re sure we want to stay here. We don’t mind moving.”

Marric looked up and down at the structure. He said, “Looks like good work.”

“It’s not done yet,” Scallion said. “We didn’t know who we might pick up, so it’s not ready yet.” He said, “I— I just had to get out of there. Fuck. I’ve never been somewhere so… lawless. And dirty.”

Bett explained, “We got to the Sovereign Cities last week, hoping to find a group fast, but these shmucks—” Bett asked, “Either of you two have to kill any idiots who try to jump you?”

Marric said, “I didn’t kill them, but it did happen.”

Jane said, “Got jumped by two people.”

Marric asked, “Did you kill them?”

“… Unfortunately.”

Bett said, “Don’t sweat it… Jane? Right?”

“Yeah.”

Scallion said, “I hate this place! No city walls. No proper defenses. The people choose to not Matriculate, just so they won’t have to join the army, but if they did, then they would all kill each other.” He said, “They caused this problem themselves. These fuckers deserve unicorns.”

Jane felt a spike of anger. She blurted out, “No one deserves monsters.”

Scallion flinched. Bett frowned a little.

Marric said, “Monsters are a plague unleashed by the Old Wizards. The solution is the Script, but these people forgo Matriculation and thus, it is their fault that unicorns plague them.”

“Well.” Jane said, “I guess that might be true.” She added, “Still though…”

Scallion frowned a little, but said nothing. Bett’s face turned neutral.

Marric continued, “Instead of these people solving their own problems they choose to allow adventurers into their lands to solve their problems for them. And of those that do choose to Matriculate, and who survive their time in the army?” Marric said, “Punch-boy back there, and all of his cronies, and Healer and practically everyone there… Guildmaster Rohn was right. They’re all going to die, and it’s going to be their own fault. The only ones in that room who have any chance of surviving this are the four of us here.”

Jane said nothing. She had already said her piece. Scallion wasn’t wrong, but there was no need to be so callous about it.

Bett turned to Marric, smirking as she asked, “You scope me out already, almost-mind-mage?”

Marric said, “You were the only other non-human in that room. Doesn’t take much to realize you’re competent enough to survive Killtree’s usual methods of welcoming people to town. I’m taking it on faith that you won’t be a detriment in a unicorn fight.” He asked, “Are you really a Polymage?”

Bett said, “Give me your best [Mind Spike].”

Marric instantly flickered with a pale teal light. Bett just stood there, without any apparent effect.

“Glad to see you’re actually a mind mage.” Bett just smiled wide, as she tapped her head. “Slime core mind.”

Marric said, “Mind magic is not just mind effects. That trick doesn’t work against a unicorn’s bodily nervous system control.”

Bett waved him off, saying, “I’ll be a full water slime out in the field.” She turned to Jane, asking, “To continue with the show and tell. What’s your ooze?”

Jane knew they wouldn’t want to take her word on faith, so she [Blink]ed out of her leathers to end up twenty meters away, across the slope. Fire crawled across her skin as she burbled out of herself, transforming into a twisting, living pile of flame. The ground around her body scorched and blackened, as her heat expanded outward, flash-firing nearby tufted flowers and scraggly grasses. After her transformation settled in, Jane pulled her fire into herself with [Fire Body], holding her heat close to her orange goo.

Bett called out, “Dinnamoth’s Tits! You really do have an ooze!” She leaned back, saying “Flame ooze is a good choice. The lack of a core makes them a lot more durable than you’d think.”

“She’s got [Fire Body], too,” Marric said.

Jane burbled toward her group, stretching her body upward. She walked with legs made of translucent orange slime, her bones and muscle reforming as she completed her transformation into a human. As fire dimmed from her skin, she wrapped herself in dark blue armor and her hair into a bun. She flashed a [Cleanse], washing away soot and ash with thick air. She said, “[Fire Body] and [Greater Treat Wounds]. Though it’ll be hard to heal others on the field.”

Bett said, “Don’t worry about us. We’re pretty self sufficient.”

Scallion added, “It’s still good to have the option outside of combat.”

“You’re one of them sloggers, aren’t you?” Marric asked. “Years to get [Greater Treat Wounds], then months at… Firemaw, maybe? And now you’re going for a unicorn. What Class are you? Where did you study?”

Jane said, “We don’t have to know each other that well, right away.” She added, “But you could call me a slogger and you wouldn’t be wrong. I’m in this for the long haul, to gather enough power to kill every monster out there.”

This book’s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

“A good goal.” Marric smirked. “I’m here to qualify for a Mind Mage post elsewhere.”

Scallion stood up, saying, “I feel a lot better about the decision to come here.” He looked to Bett, saying, “We’re both sloggers, too.”

“We’re here for those unicorn auras.” Bett said, “The goal is carving a city out of Archipelago Nergal.”

Marric asked Scallion, “What do you do?”

Scallion gestured down the mountain slope. The air shifted, as a large, subtly purple [Ward] layered down the mountain, like a blanket half a hundred meters wide. Scree and boulders loosed from the ground, to shoot into the air like they were dropped up. As the rocks and dirt left the [Ward], they crashed back down, normal gravity reasserting itself. Stone floated into the [Ward] and back out, finding some sort of equilibrium on the top edge of the purple space.

Scallion’s body turned misty, as his hair trailed away and his fingers wrapped with wisps of fog. He said, “I’ve got [Air Body] and [Water Body], a lot of other control spells, and the ability to exclude people from their effects. I should be mostly immune to a unicorn while like this. I can hold this form for an hour.”

“Well then.” Marric said, “This is really good. All I have to worry about is myself, which I can already do. Nice to meet you, three.”

Jane added, “Nice to meet you, Bett, Scallion, Marric.”

“Glad to finally find some people who aren’t total murder-freaks.” Bett turned to Scallion, “I told you we’d find some good people.”

“Just had to expose ourselves to the murderous locals for a week, first.” Scallion countered.

Bett smiled as she asked, “Where are the locals not murderous for at least one of us?”

Scallion said, “Portal, Outpost. Pretty much everywhere in the Crystal Forest, and I hear that Spur is finally filling with humans again. Greensoil is fine for me, while the Wasteland is fine for you. Nergal is half okay—”

“Fine fine fine.” Bett said, “Point taken.”

Jane asked, “Anyone want to take on some low level contracts, to see how we do with each other?”

Scallion said, “Sure. But I’m not going back to Killtree without a breather. We finally found a group.” He said to Bett, “You teasing Rohn with ‘Why’s it a called a collar’ almost set him off.”

Bett laughed. She glanced from Jane to Marric, saying, “His speech was a lot worse before I started asking questions. Just one a day, though. That seems to be his limit.”

“I don’t want to go back to town for a contract.” Marric said, “It’s not fun turning away a hundred people a day from looking at you like a piece of meat, or a bag of gold they just have to stab enough to make something good fall out.”

“Same.” Bett said, “Besides! We don’t have to have an adventuring contract to figure out how to play nice with each other. There’s no monsters in this area aside from flowerspawn.” She looked up past the house, up the mountain. “But the Mushroom Forest starts about two hundred kilometers that way. It’s full of shroomspawn and vinespawn.”

Jane said, “I would rather do something productive, if you don’t mind. I volunteer to go back and get a listing.”

“That works, too,” Bett said. “Anything from 4 star to 6 is fine by me.”

“Sure,” Scallion said. “Everyone is waiting for the first unicorn listing to appear so there might be something worthwhile. Bett and I haven’t really looked.”

“I’m fine with a productive kill quest.” Marric looked back toward the house in the mountainside. “What does it look like, inside?”

Scallion said, “I’ll show you.”

Jane said, “I’ll be right back.”

Jane left them to it as she picked up her leather clothes, then blipped halfway to Killtree. She discarded her [Conjure Armor] and put her normal clothes back on for her trip into the city. Thankfully, the rain had stopped.

 

– – – –

 

Finding an appropriate quest took Jane an hour.

Most of that hour was spent walking back from the outskirts of Killtree, to the Guild. Her journey was interrupted twice along the way. First, by guards who pointed out that hair clip she had conjured around her hair was an illegal, open use of magic. They let her go with a warning when she told them she was here to hunt unicorns. Jane switched up her hairclip for a bit of string.

The next altercation came when a street urchin tried to pick her pocket. Jane smacked his head while his hand was in her pocket, sending him tumbling to the mud. The kid must have only been ten years old, but his wild tumble turned professional. He barely touched the mud, instead spinning and landing on his feet and hands. The kid raced off down a nearby alleyway.

Back at the guild, Jane instantly found an appropriate quest.

There was no reward listed, but not every place did things like Spur, with upfront rewards. Spur was actually in the minority of how most of Glaquin did quests and managed their guilds. On most of the continent, the monsters themselves were the goal. You just had to kill them, first.

 

– – – –

 

Jane returned to Bett and Scallion’s base with a slip of paper. No one stood outside in the setback between the mountain slope and the stone house, or on the slope itself, but as Jane walked toward the open front door, she heard voices inside. Jane walked through the front door, into a spacious room of light and nice conjured furniture.

Marric, Bett, and Scallion, all sat around a large stone table in the back of the room, talking over the splayed out contents of the folder Guildmaster Rohn had given to Marric. All of them were already in their [Conjure Armor]. Both Bett and Scallion were in purple leathers, while Marric was in teal.

With eyes going wide as Jane walked through the front door, Scallion said, “You came back!”

Bett spoke up from a comfy chair beside the table, “I told you she would.”

“I had doubts,” Marric said.

“I was held up by a thief and a pair of guards.” Jane said, “I found a quest.” Jane walked over and set a slip of paper on the table, on top of the spread out unicorn information packet. She said, “A small, illegal stone town east of Killtree has been overrun with shroomspawn, creating a blight and the beginnings of the Forest.”

Marric frowned as he picked up Jane’s paper. “Ehhh.”

Scallion said, “We could clear a blight. I can [Stoneshape] the buildings into the ground, anyway.” He suddenly said, “Gods! Even their attempts at real architecture are shitty!” He whispered, “What the fuck is wrong with these people?”

“It’s not our problem, Scallion.” Bett turned to Jane, saying, “It’s not a difficult task, but it’ll be nasty enough. Shroomspawn are not fun.”

Scallion said, “I’m just saying that normal, everyday city politeness is a foreign concept around here.” Wide eyed, he added, “Probably literally! Oh! That’s it! Polite Society is a foreign concept, and that’s why they don’t do it.”

Jane wanted to argue for Killtree, but Scallion was right. He would do well to not be so open about it, though.

Marric said, “Shroomspawn… I don’t know.” He turned to look at Scallion, saying, “And you need to cut that shit out. You let it out here, and you might accidentally let it out there, in the field, where people could hear.”

Bett said, “Scallion just hasn’t had anyone else to complain to in a week.”

“I can keep it in my robes.” Scallion desperately asked, “But please, just tell me that you see what I see.”

Jane said, “I see it.”

“Thank you!” Scallion said, smiling brightly. “Yes! Good! I’m not crazy.”

Marric put Jane’s quest information back down on the table. “This is a fine quest. I was hoping to avoid shroomspawn, but it’s fine.”

Bett asked, “What’s the problem with shroomspawn?”

Marric said, “They’re just… disgusting. Emotionally awful, you know.”

Bett burst into laughter.

Marric said, “Jane’ll probably end up doing most of the work. This quest reads like everyone is already dead, and we just have to burn the town to the ground.” He added, “[Stoneshape] it to the ground, too.”

“Something like that,” Jane said.

Scallion said, “So what happens when we discover that the town is full of dissidents, and this quest is just Killtree wanting us to kill their people for them?”

Jane said, “Then we walk away, and I report the quest as incomplete.”

Scallion asked, “And what happens if that becomes a problem?”

“We might have gotten off on the wrong foot.” Jane said, “I’m here for a unicorn; not to make friends with authoritarian governments. We don’t actually need the guild here to help us find the unicorns. It just makes it easier.”

Scallion smiled small, then nodded.

Marric said, “I would like to have a working relationship with Killtree’s guild, if at all possible. But if this quest is a front for state sanctioned murder, we can leave them behind.”

“Guildmaster Rohn ain’t that bad.” Bett said, “Everyone else I could do without.”

Jane asked, “So? Are we doing this?”

Scallion said, “Best to figure out what everyone can do. We still have hours till nightfall. I vote we go.” He added, “I’m arcanaeum trained from Peak Island University, with a Class and Stat-ed for Willpower.”

Bett got up from her chair, saying, “Polymage, Balance. I’ve got [Air Body], [Water Body], and [Stone Body]. Working on [Lightwalk]. If this works out well, I might want to stick around for a while and get [Lightwalk] out of multiple unicorn kills.”

Marric said, “If we need to work out some complicated system regarding the bodies, we can.” He said, “I’ve been given all unicorn season to secure a kill, but if we’re doing multiple kills, I want horns.” He added, “But that’s getting ahead of ourselves. I have some confidence in this group since I’m the only one I need to protect, but unicorns are not easy.” He looked around the room. “What are the worse mind monsters you’ve ever killed?”