Chapter 62: Would the Real Phantom Thief Please Stand Up?

Micheal Francis mopped sweat off his brow.

How had things gone so wrong?

Five years as a Climber, slowly and carefully working his way up to the land of plenty, a lucky break with an administrative job, then thirty years of diligent service, and he’d finally made it. He was one of the wealthy decision-makers in the city of his lord, Akul.

He’d lived in a mansion, with maids.

But now he was dead.

Because the coffin was gone.

Baron Akul, like most Lords, was highly paranoid, never telling everyone everything, burying secrets across the city, so many that none saw the complete scope of his machinations.

The only secrets Micheal knew of was the kaiju hidden under the City Records office and the coffin.

But the records office wasn’t his responsibility.

The Coffin was.

It was made of solid onyx, inlaid with thick gold, and was basically too heavy to steal. You would need a dozen high-level warriors with outlandish strength, and they certainly wouldn’t be able to disappear with it.

There was a single footprint in the floor where the thief had shifted their weight wrong, causing them to sink partially into the floor, leaving a crisp footprint embedded in the marble.

What am I going to do? Sooner or later, the baron will send an agent to check up on me, and then I’m dead.

Illusionist? No, that’s just asking for the illusionist to blackmail me for the rest of my days, which would likely be short anyway.

Come clean and alert the duke immediately?

Less chance of my children dying too, I suppose…The thing was, Micheal really didn’t want to lose his status or get splattered by the baron in a fit of rage.

Micheal sank to his knees.

Maybe I can make a cast of the footprint and arrest anyone in the city who matches it. I might get lucky eventually. Micheal chuckled.

Not without anyone with two brain cells to rub together figuring out what he was doing.

Micheal was staring into the void of his broken dreams when a small foot appeared in front of him.

“Master, are you alright?” Rosa asked. The young maid knelt down to give him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. She was always kind to him.

“Not really, Rosa.” Micheal said, leaning back against the wall and letting his legs flop out in front of him. He wasn’t up to the task of standing right now.

“I regret to inform you that your tenure here may be coming to an end. No fault of yours, I assure you. I’m the one on the way out.” Micheal said, glancing up at her concerned brown eyes.

“Would you like a letter of recommendation to some of my colleagues before it loses any value?”

“You’re not a bad person.” she said…almost a question. Odd thing for his mistress to say.

“I’m…normal.” Micheal said with a shrug. He always tried to pay his staff fairly and be discrete about his affairs. No bastards, no lives ruined. That sort of thing.

“Was that box really that important?” She asked.

“I’m probably going to be killed when the Baron finds out,” Micheal admitted, beyond bluster at this point.

“What would you do to get it back?” Rosa asked.

Micheal cocked his head, glancing up at her, his scattered wits sharpening.

“You’re not Rosa.”

“I never said I was,” ‘Rosa’ said, taking a graceful step backwards, her foot sinking perfectly into the single footprint embedded in the marble flooring.

“Had to spread my weight out,” She said, her feet widening dramatically until they were roughly the size and shape of snowshoes.

His first instinct was to lunge forward and try to subdue the slight woman…But if she was a shapeshifter and could lift the coffin…any physical altercation would resolve in her favor.

Micheal’s decades of well-honed self-preservation instinct kicked in.

This wasn’t a situation best solved by force. This was a situation best solved by total capitulation.

“What do you want for it?” Micheal asked.

“I want you…to throw me a party,” She said.

“…That’s it?” Micheal asked, frowining up at the person who held his life in their hands. A party was…kind of a small ask.

“…I have some specific requests,” she said with a mischievous grin unlike anything he’d ever seen on Rosa’s face.

“Before you start, Is Rosa okay?” Micheal asked, holding up a hand.

“Why would you –“ her expression soured. “Ew…” her body rippled and shifted into a slender black-haired girl, even shorter than Rosa.

“Blech,” She wiped herself off as if she’d gotten something icky on her, shuddering from head to toe. “The maid? Really? What a cliché.”

“I’m…normal.” Micheal shrugged.

***William Oh***

Three days after arranging their purchase, the money went through and Will got his hands on the Sacrifices he’d ordered from the shop. It was altogether…uneventful.

“Really?” Will asked, glancing around. “No dramatic attack or last-minute reversal?” He asked. The room remained silent.

“Why would you expect that?” Loth asked.

“Because I beat a phantom thief at stealing. They typically hold grudges for a long time about this sort of thing.”

“What would you know about the behavior of phantom thieves?”

“I stole a kid’s toy in the middle of the night once because he wouldn’t pass the bread.” Will said with a shrug. “This Phantom Thief seems to have the same level of maturity.”

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

“Uhuh, just take your Upgrade.” Loth said, shaking her head.

One step closer to getting my hand back, Will thought, holding up the chunk of Immortal Serpent.

Do you wish to Sacrifice Immortal Serpent to Aspect of the Goat?

Yes.

There was a flash of light and the chunk of mummified flesh was gone.

A tingle went down Will’s spine as some oddness flooded his entire body, prompting a shudder.

Aspect of the Goat has received a Qualitative Upgrade, becoming Aspect of the Immortal Serpent. Review the description for changes.

Aspect of the Immortal Serpent:

A collection of passives that focus on mobility and hardiness. The bearer of this Ability becomes more resistant to exposure and altitude. Their digestive systems become able to process food unfit for human consumption, and their hands and feet always find safe purchase on even the most hostile terrain. User will heal more completely. Scars and damage, both external and internal will fade away over time, and only a complete removal of a limb or organ will prevent this healing. Scales with Resistance.

Will inspected the Ability. The word ‘minor’ had been cut from in front of ‘passives’, and the description of the Immortal Serpent Sacrifice had been shoehorned into the end of the ability.

Notice, it doesn’t say I heal faster, only more completely. Big difference.

Will glanced around, but there was still no phantom thief popping out of the floorboards to assert dominance.

“Huh. Maybe I was just being paranoid.” Will admitted.

“You are pretty good at it.” Loth said as they left the Sacrifice shop.

“No, I’m good at being prepared,” Will corrected her. “Paranoia outside The Tower is common sense inside.”

“Ehh…” Loth waggled her scaled hand.

“I don’t get it,” Will mused as they walked. “The laws of being a Phantom thief, which is basically the sport of being petty, dictate that she focus her ire on me. That she steals that which I most desire.”

“Obviously this is what I most desire,” Will said, motioning to his missing hand. “There’s nothing else I like more than having two hands…I’m gonna stop for a raspberry tart.”

Will’s feet had stopped in front of Jean’s Bakery.

“Really?” Loth asked, scaly brow raised.