Chapter 212: The New Hire

“So that’s what I’m hoping you can do for me.” Will said.

“Why don’t you get your Tangled girlfriend to do it?” Heath asked.

“Long story short: Doesn’t look the part. ” Will replied.

“I mean, she could.” Heath said with an upside-down shrug. “She’s a shapeshifter, right?”

“Well, let me ask you this.” Will said, “would you wanna look like you?”

Heath erupted in a guffaw. “Fuck you, I’m the peak picture of male virility.”

“You’ve got lifeless eyes, a blotchy complexion, your hair is thinning and you have a cruel slant to your fat lips.” Will replied.

Heath began cursing and wiggling like a worm on a hook, struggling against the bindings, his monumental strength as a Warrior unable to break out of the silk produced by Loth’s insects.

“I need somebody mean looking, and – LISTEN!” Will grabbed his former bully by his ear and shouted into it, stunning the man into ceasing his struggling.

“I need someone like you to be the face of the law in the Stronghold.”

Heath stopped struggling, his expression thoughtful. “So, you want me to be the law around here? I think we’re both mature enough to acknowledge that it’s not a good fit for me.”

Will paused, assessing Heath’s response.

“Why’s that?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d love the perks of being the law around here. The bullying, the kickbacks. We both know I’d take to it like a hog in a vat of slop, but we also know for a fact I’m not sharp enough to be any good at it. Lawman’s gotta be clever. Well-spoken. Resourceful. I’m just…” Heath shrugged. “A mean mug with a big sword. Nothing special.”

Does he actually have some humility or is he trying to trick me?

“That’s why Ria will be handling everything else,” Will said, motioning to the athletic young woman holding the chain suspending Heath from the ceiling.

“Ria can speak to the people who are reasonable. She can make you seem resourceful and clever by propping you up. All you have to do is threaten, harass, or beat the shit out of whoever we point you at.”

Heath hung there silently, considering it.

“We’ll call you sheriff, but Ria will be your boss, and I am her boss. If you get too big a head, she’ll…realign your priorities.”

“…Can I take bribes?” Heath asked.

Will blinked. “No.”

The Heavy Swordsman groaned.

“Then what’s the point?”

“I’ll give you a solid paycheck, your Advanced Class, and some Kit that will make you one tough bastard. Any reward reasonable and within my power.”

“I want a girlfriend.” Heath said.

Will frowned.

“That is…neither reasonable nor within my power. Frankly, you’re unlovable.”

“Fine. How about a mansion in the outer Ring?” Heath asked once he stopped trying to bite Will.

“When would you use it?” Will asked. “Being the sheriff around here is a full-time gig, for at least a decade. Once this place settles down we can look into forming a more official, regimented law enforcement system, and let you go…with a fat purse.”

“A decade?” Heath asked, and Will could see the calculation going on behind his eyes. As a level 45 Warrior archetype, he should have enough Resistance to make a decade feel like three years.

“That’s right.”

“…What if I say no?”

“We let you go and treat you like any other Climber.”

“…Alright, I’m game. let’s do it.”

Will carefully scanned Heath from head to toe.

“I don’t buy it.”

“…What?…Nah, man, we’re cool. I’ll thug whoever you tell me to.”

“I hear what you’re saying…” Will said, turning Phantom Hand’s armor into a blade and beginning to cut Heath out of his bindings. “But I don’t believe that’s what you’re thinking. You’re thinking you’ll have a grand old time, take me for everything I’m worth and then fuck off.”

Heath’s brow twitched.

“…I can tell you’re not actually afraid of me.” Will said as the blade glided through the silk.

It was true, Heath was completely unafraid of Will. There was a teeny bit of apprehension rolling off of him due to the situation, but he was completely unafraid of Will specifically.

Heath remembered him as a weak child, and that was a tough notion to shatter. It formed a mental block that shielded him from fearing Will.

As long as Heath didn’t have any fear of Will, he couldn’t imagine Heath obeying rules set down by him.

Heath just wasn’t that kind of person. He was a habitual line-crosser, and generally a bad person. Utilizing him would not be as easy as a simple conversation and a job offer.

“Nah, man, you think I’m not scared? Being tied up and being threatened is pretty fucking sca-“

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The instant Heath’s hand were free he lunged forward, aiming for Will’s neck.

Just like Sammohan, actually. Heath, like the oversized miner, needed to physically experience it before he was willing to accept Will as a Lord.

Will caught Heath’s hand with Phantom Hand and slipped out of the man’s range.

Heath collapsed to the ground as the last of the restraints tore away, leaping to his feet with a feral snarl and charging towards Will, winding up a telegraphed punch.

Will slipped around it and turned to regard Ria.

“Would you mind-“ Will dodged another attack, pausing his speech between strikes. “Giving us some time? I Don’t. Want. To give you. A bad. Impression. Of me.”

“Consider it a challenge.” Ria said, crossing her arms. “Rein him in without giving me a bad impression.”

Well, there goes my idea of breaking every bone in his body. How am I supposed to-? Will thought as he danced around a flurry of punches and kicks. Actually…

Really, what Heath and Sammohan had in common was they wanted to drag this down to a dick measuring contest. A comparison of raw machismo that they mistakenly believed they would win.

…I can do that. Will thought, shrugging out of his shirt and amulet and tossing them over to Ria.

Heath paused, a single meaty fist raised.

“Umm…”

“By all means, continue.” Will said, slipping out of his boots and kicking them aside, taking off his ring before starting on his pants.

“…Why are you getting naked?” Heath asked.