CH403

As Ben cracked open his eyes he was forced to confront another change to himself beyond the massive one in his head. Any time he’d leveled his complex mind in the past, there had always been a small change to his perspective that had come with it as the divide between seeing the big picture versus the smaller details shrunk, but as things were, the gap had now vanished altogether. It now felt like he saw the world with perfect clarity as he took everything in, putting together just where he was.

He could tell he wasn’t lying on the battlefield, nor was he in any of the nearby forts that each nation had built. Instead, it looked like he was in the field hospital set up in the city with healers of all sorts running around, treating a shockingly small number of people given the chaos he’d seen before the world went dark, with the reason for that being apparent as he heard Thera’s voice.

“Give those two to me and go focus on someone else, I’ll be quicker and you need something easier to regain a bit of mana,” She ordered as Ben turned his head to the side to watch as she worked. “Have more patients been brought in yet?”

“We’re just getting them now,” Another healer called out as she nodded.

“Well get them to my area so we can get them out of here. I don’t know if you’re going to have me after tomorrow so take advantage while you can.”

He felt himself smile seeing her throw out orders as other healers rushed to do what she said while he laid there quietly, not wanting to draw attention to himself, nor wanting to have to talk to her, at least not yet.

He knew he wasn’t at fault for what had happened and Myriad had made sure to assure him no others did either, but that didn’t stop the feeling of guilt from gnawing at him. He was in no rush to see her thoughts on the matter, so instead he stayed quiet as hours passed, watching as people came in and were sent out as an untold number of light and life spells were cast around him.

During that time he barely moved and did his best not to think. His body wasn’t sore from the strain it had been put under, likely being healed early on, but he wanted to relax in that bit of time he had until eventually, Thera seeming free from the constant flow of work, walked over to him with a level of exhaustion that vanished the second she saw he was awake as she rushed over, throwing herself at him and wrapping him in her arms.

Neither of them said anything in that moment, both just feeling relief. Thera for the fact that Ben had finally woken up, and Ben for her not directing any anger over what happened to him.

It was only as those quiet seconds passed that she pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, giving him a very tired smile

“Hey sleepyhead. You were out for a while.”

“Only two days, right? I’ve been out for longer.”

“Ha, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s passed out as much as you have.”

“Well, it’s a big world out there. There’s gotta be one or two guys who are worse for it than me.”

Her smile became just a little less tired as they spoke and fell back to silence, it only slipping away as she thought about all she had to catch him up on.

“Ben, um, how much do you remember about everything that happened?”

“Not much, but Myriad caught me up. I’m sorry.”

“Ben, whatever you did brought a month-long battle down to less than a day. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“I killed seven hundred people, of course I do.”

Guilt and rage were thick in his voice as he averted his eyes, not able to look at her. It was only when she gently took his face in his hands, pulling it back to her that he had no choice, not fighting off her touch and not seeing a hint of judgment in her gaze.

“Ben, I’m going to be clear with you. That was not your fault. I don’t think so, none of the spirits I’ve seen think so, my father and the other great spirits don’t think so and not even Vividus thinks so. You weren’t able to do anything like that before your skill awakened and you didn’t know what was in there, how can you possibly be blamed? It was that fucking bastard Iberu…”

She trailed off, feeling her own rage flood her as she thought about it. The weapon had felt off to her the moment she’d laid eyes on it, but that was it. Otherwise, the head of the craftsman’s guild had seemed nothing but reasonable so she had pushed the feeling away. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined how many of her people were being sacrificed in the name of trying to save the world. How many more would have been if things hadn’t been discovered with the weapon’s destruction was a question that hung heavily on her mind.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

“Sure, none of you can blame me and none of you can speak for the dead,” He sighed. “I’m glad you don’t hate me for this, but I’m not going to be so quick to forgive myself. It’s fine, it’s just one more thing to haunt me.”

I’m getting pretty used to having a bunch of those.

He watched her chew on her lip, not knowing anything she could do that could help as he moved to put her at ease, not wanting to worry her with whatever was going through his many minds.

“So hey, are you almost done here? I could use some real food and some rest in a nicer bed, when do you think you’ll be able to head out?”

“Now. I came to check on you because I needed to leave anyway so if you’re feeling up to it then let’s go.”

It was a desirable prospect and he moved to make it happen, sitting up for the first time in days as blood flowed to his stiff muscles while he moved his body, bringing everything back to life as he got back to his feet.