CH468 Thera’s Perspective

Gods above, I’m pathetic.

Thera never did end up getting more rest beyond a couple minutes of sleep here and there, instead she spent the day laying in bed, staring at the ceiling as she suffered with her thoughts.

Just as much as she hated that she couldn’t control her charm, she hated herself for how she was reacting to it. After having dealt with it for so long, she blamed herself for ever having hope that she’d be free of its effects one day, driving her so far into the dirt now that she was forced to contend with the idea that it could never happen.

If she only had one comfort, it was her talk with Ben the night prior that made things just a bit easier to deal with. She didn’t want to end up alone again and he really did make her fully believe that he wouldn’t let that happen no matter what sort of work it took. It was a needed comfort he gave her with ease.

Which just left her with the question of what she planned to do. She wasn’t dumb, she could already see a few obvious solutions that had potential. Controlling her charm could be as easy as raising it only another level or two, or now that her dark magic was at the ninth level, if she was able to awaken it then there was a good chance it would combine with her charm to give her the control she wanted. As bad as things seemed, it wasn’t like there was no hope, but the unknown stopped her from pursuing either path.

What if I try and it still doesn’t work? What if my worst nightmares come true here and it just keeps getting worse forever?

Not knowing what she should do made it all the harder but she couldn’t keep herself from dwelling on it, especially when there was a choice that she’d been putting off that was going to deeply affect her if she made the wrong one and she forced herself to get to it, touching the job crystal hanging from her neck to feel the weight of her decision.

AVAILABLE JOBS

Queen of mana
Musician
Professional dancer
Bard
Darkness mage -charm specialized
Healer
Dark mage
Staff user
Master adventurer
Homunculus creator
Chimera maker
War mage
Crystallization mage
Empathy mage
Barrier mage

If she was going to try and push ahead in the hopes that she was only a few levels away from the control she wanted then it would make the most sense for her to pick either dark mage or darkness mage, but either option would have a permanent impact on her if she completed it. If she tried to raise her charm and was wrong, there’d be permanent bonuses going to it, making it so it would go up all of the faster and forcing her to live with the consequence for the rest of her life.

…I don’t want to risk it.

Admitting it to herself only left her feeling worse. It made her feel like a coward, unable to take any decisive action to make a change in her life and left her without any clue on where to go from there.

She didn’t know what magics war mage would give bonuses to so it was automatically out, along with master adventurer which she knew would give bonuses to all of her skills. Both homunculus creator and chimera maker were both too specialized for her to want to go with considering how poor her skill was on both of those fronts, and healer was too low in class. If she took it while she already held an awakened life magic she’d likely finish it after a few hours of work at the clinic, tops, leaving with the same decision to make all over again. Beyond that, she wasn’t tempted by any of her non-magic jobs, leaving her with only four options.

Queen of mana, crystallization mage, empathy mage, and barrier mage. Of them, the first was a clear no. Even though all of them would raise her mana, even though regardless of what she picked, her massive mana pool would still grow even if she stopped casting spells altogether, she didn’t want it to increase as fast as that job would make it when that might only make her charm more powerful.

With the last three, she scratched off empathy mage as well, for the simple reason that she seemed plenty compatible with the magic already. She only needed to get to the fifth level of the skill and she was one away, it made more sense to work on the ones she was worse at if she wasn’t going to take a better job option and from there she just didn’t care. It didn’t matter to her what she went with of the two so she chose on a whim and decided to deal with the consequences later.

“Crystallization mage.”

Name: Thera Oress

Race: Succubus/Spirit Hybrid

Titles: Spirit Child, Madman’s lover, Spirit princess, Saintess

Jobs: Crystallization mage (lv0)

Previous Jobs: Beginner Dancer, Dancer, Apprentice mage, Earth mage, True mage, High earth mage, Spirit mage, Life mage, High life mage, Telekinetic mage, Adventurer, High telekinetic mage, High spirit mage, Master earth mage, Earth princess, Master life mage, Life princess, Saintess

Attributes:

Vitality: 2098
Vitality recovery rate: 35/hr
Mana: 503,801
Mana recovery rate: 202/min
Strength: 310
Agility: 782
Stamina: 661
Intelligence: 742

Affinities:

Light: 4
Life: 22
Fire: 11
Water: 14
Air: 12
Earth: 103
Death: 3
Dark: 43
Space: 2
Time: 1

This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.

Resistances:

Light: 5
Life: 9
Fire: 11
Water: 16
Air: 12
Earth: 35
Death: 13
Dark: 42
Space: 7
Time: 8

Blessed skills:

Spiritual earth magic lv5*
Charm magic lv6

Passive skills:

World speak+
Coordination lv5
Bind
Mana recovery rate enhancement lv8
Earth sense lv5

Active skills:

Calculate lv2
Dance lv5
String instrument lv3
Woodwind instrument lv3
Cleaning lv2
Staff wielder lv1
Meditation lv2
Speed reading lv4
Spiritual life magic lv5*
Telekinesis lv8
Dark magic lv9
Spirit empowering lv9
Cooking lv1
Mana examination lv8
Mana crystallization lv3
Empathy lv4
Barrier magic lv3

Blessings:

Anailia’s Blessing
Elvat’s life magic Blessing
Quox’s Blessing
Eneth’s Blessing
Earth Pantheon’s Blessing
Life Pantheon’s Blessing

Trials:

Trial of Anailia and Tolona
Earth Tower
Life Tower

No levels, I guess that makes sense. It’s only been a day since I last raised it, getting another so soon would be crazy. Still, I guess I should practice.

She held up her hand as she laid back down, willing her mana out of it to take a solid form. Even without her staff, she was managing, albeit with her construct ending up larger than intended, and it let her see her progress as a mage. In the past, she never would have been able to do something like that at only the third level. It showed that her control as a whole really had improved, even if it wasn’t enough.

She felt her negativity coming back and tried to shake it off, wanting her mind to stay on the task at hand as she controlled her construct, making it slowly fly around her room and spin before she released and recreated it a few times, only to give up in the end. She wasn’t in the mood to practice. She wasn’t really in the mood for anything.

Really, she thought she’d be fine doing nothing for the rest of the day, just laying there and stewing in her own misery, but a knock came to her door that forced her to get up.

Related chapter tags