Ch27 Salad Fork

 

Alright. I’m starting to understand what Pebbles meant by chaotic tedium. The plan started well enough. Trebla attacked, Hellion’s Henchmen stormed the building, and civilians screamed a bunch. Some of the people inside the building were then taken as hostages.

 

“…WHICH IS WHY FORTRESS CITY MUST CEDE TO MY DEMANDS!…”

 

But, after that phase of the plan was completed, things got a little stranger.

 

“… I ALONE CAN PLAN FOR THE UNFORESEEN! WITHOUT MY GRAND VISION FORTRESS CITY WILL SUFFER CONSTANT CHAOS!…”

 

It was my understanding that robbing a bank meant stealing money from it. Not making a speech on the front steps of the building. True, he was also shooting at any cop cars that showed up, but that was more a consequence of the plan rather than a part of it.

 

“...FEAR NOT! FOR MY RULE WILL BE BENEVOLENT, AND JUST!…”

 

Part of my uneasiness with the current state of affairs was that I hadn’t known about this ‘speech’ part of the plan. It had been labeled under “Trebla distracts the heroes,” but I felt it should have been labeled “Trebla attracts the heroes” instead. I didn’t understand how this helped us rob the bank. I was curious, but my requests to Lia that I be provided with a complete set of the plans, including Trebla’s portion, had been denied, citing security risks.

 

Oh well. I’m sure whatever Trebla was aiming for had to be important. Either way I had a job to perform…

 

[Zaps: Hey Tofu, I’m not seeing the room I’m looking for.]

[Tofu: You’re at the fifth floor intersection?]

[Zaps: …ah. Fifth floor.]

 

…tedious though it may be. Did nobody read their packets? My mask had a constant stream of texts coming in from minions who were out of place. Luckily the masks had a handy little voice-to-text feature to keep the radio uncluttered.

 

I was in the lobby of the bank, a large chamber that took up most of the first two floors of the building. A lot of polished stone, metal, and glass went into making this room as impressive as possible. Obviously this ‘banking’ faction did quite well for itself. I sometimes wonder why architecture seems so varied among human dwellings. Some of it makes sense, such as one building serving a different purpose from another, or when a faction like the Tinker Tots makes modifications that suit them. But what about things like ‘wallpaper’, or ‘carpets’? They had so many different variations of the same thing. How did they ever choose what to use? Mikey had mentioned how bare my apartment was, so I was planning to fill it out more to match a human dwelling, but how should I pick furniture? Or decorations? I wasn’t exactly expecting many visitors, but I’d rather not worry about my den making visitors suspicious.

 Maybe I could just take some of the furniture from this place? The chairs here seemed rather comfortable. I’d ask if it fit into the plan later.

 

I patrolled around the lobby, making a slow perimeter while I answered questions and directed the minions on other floors. Buzzer and Ifrit had gone with their own groups, so that not everyone directing was in the same spot. There were some hostages in one of the lobby alcoves, guarded by Dillo and Spikes, and Olson and Gregor were near the front window of the building keeping an eye on things. I made one more pass of the lobby before I wandered over to Olson and Gregor, to see if anything had changed outside.

 

“PEOPLE ARE FALLIBLE! THEY MAKE MISTAKES AND I AM NEEDED TO CORRECT THEM! LIKE THE DRAINAGE ON THIRD AND VICTORIA! THE CONTRACTORS SCREWED IT UP!” yelled Trebla from outside.

 

“Sure does like to hear himself talk,” said Gregor.

“Aw come on, the guy’s hilarious. Right Tofu?” asked Olson.

“Uhh…”

“Bah, you greenhorns don’t know what you’re talking about. This is top-shelf villainy right here,” replied Olson.

 

“…AND THE TRAILER FOR GHOSTBUSTERS NINE GAVE AWAY THE ENTIRE PLOT! THE WHOLE THING!”

 

“…although he does seem to be running out of material. Heroes better get here soon.”

“It’s been seven minutes since we started,” I supplied, “the first hero was supposed to show up at the five minute mark.”

“Ha. Never around when you need them I guess,” said Olson.

“I’ve actually been meaning to ask about that,” I said, “The plan for this robbery doesn’t just assume the heroes will show up, it seems to rely on it. I thought the point of a robbery was to get in and out before they show?”

“Ah, but see, you are assuming that money is the goal here.”

“It’s not?”

“Well not the main goal. Let me paint a picture for you. How much money do you think we can steal from here?”

 

I wasn’t really sure how much money the average human had. I’d never worked a regular job. If I used what I had earned so far as a baseline, and did a few calculations based on the estimated population size of this sector…

 

“A few million dollars?” I guessed.

“Nope, way too high. E12 and the surrounding sectors are crawling with villains and other desperate sorts, who can walk through walls, shoot lasers, etcetera, etcetera. They wouldn’t keep a lot of cash at a branch building like this. Try a few hundred thou, maybe.”

Ah, I could see the problem. “He won’t earn a profit from stealing the money.”

“Bingo.”

 

I had earned three thousand from the warehouse robbery job, five thousand total with the bonus they gave me. Multiplied by thirty of Hellion’s powered minions, that was a minimum of ninety thousand just to hire us. Plus he had his own minions to pay, and if anyone got arrested or injured there would be legal and medical fees.

 

Olson continued, “Now it’s possible he could milk blood from this stone. Ransom the hostages or something. But a guy like Trebla? Nah, he’s a showman. I’ll bet dollars to donuts this is all part of some other scheme he’s got going on. Maybe he’s planting evidence against an enemy, or looking for blackmail material. Maybe he’s planning to steal the entire bank company in a hostile takeover in the stock market. Maybe this is just another domino in some plan that will pay off months from now, or-”

 

“GOD DAMMIT WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG! GET OUT HERE AND FACE ME!”

 

“…maybe he just wants to beat up some super heroes on camera.”

 

I doubted that was the goal. The plan called for cracking open the safes on both the basement and first floors, as well as ransacking the offices on higher floors for important files or computers. He was probably looking for important resources to use in future plans, and fighting the heroes was a means of crippling key figures for later, or something. Using such a detailed plan as just an excuse to fight heroes would be… disappointing…

 

“Well if he wants to fight a hero I think he’s gonna get his wish,” said Gregor, and he pointed outside the bank.

 

Walking down the street, almost casually, was a human male in a colorful costume. His pants had a bright red, yellow, and blue pattern. His mask had a matching color scheme, and was full-face, with cutouts for his eyes, mouth, and nose. Strangely, the mask seemed to be made of a cloth material rather than something protective. While he wore no shirt, a shiny yellow cape was draped over his shoulders.

 

Target recognized: Suprex, E12 hero leader, powers described as “enhanced endurance, flexibility, and strength.”

Estimated threat: High.

 

I remembered him from when I got arrested, although I hadn’t yet seen him in action yet. Supposedly he never took off the mask, which meant he didn’t have a civilian identity. He approached Trebla, coming to a halt twenty or so feet from him before speaking.

 

“Señor Trebla, your reputation precedes you. Might I ask why you are causing trouble in my home on this lovely day?”

“YOUR SECTOR HAS THE HONOR OF BEING A STEPPING STONE IN MY CONQUEST OF FORTRESS CITY!”

Suprex laughed, then replied, “A wonderfully optimistic goal. But, I’m afraid we can’t allow that.”

 

A second human appeared, this one diving down from the sky behind Trebla. The shifting purple light around her identified her as Magenta, her fists extended and glowing as her forcefield concentrated around them. She must have flown over the bank itself to stay outside of Trebla’s line of sight.

 

She accelerated towards Trebla, no doubt intending to hit him from behind. Maybe someone managed to send a warning, or maybe Trebla had other ways of sensing her, because when she was about twenty feet away he spun and held a palm out towards her. The same energy ray he used on the car shot out, hitting Magenta full-on. Her forcefield held, but the physical force it applied to her counteracted her forward motion, and sent her careening into the side of a building across the street. Hard. She fell to the ground dazed.

This book’s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

 

Huh. Maybe this part of the plan wasn’t so bad.

 

Suprex grimaced, then unclasped his cape before throwing it to the side (why have it if he wasn’t going to use it?). Then he charged Trebla, who spun to meet him, and they began to trade blows.

 

I was about to signal the others to move into the next phase of the plan, when a shout rang out from behind me. I spun to witness Dillo and Spikes being thrown through the air and across the lobby, an impressive feat considering both were of the physically imposing variety of mutants. The woman who had thrown them was another I recognized from my time in E12. Easy to do since she appeared to be composed of a highly reflective metallic substance. It sort of looked as if she was a statue made of the same shiny metal that decorated the lobby. No need for a mask and armor on this one.

 

Target recognized: Ferrosa, E12 hero, powers described as “enhanced endurance and strength, metallic body.”

Estimated threat: High.

 

Behind her a blur went back and forth, a hostage disappearing each time it streaked by. That must be Turbo, bringing the number of heroes rapidly up to four. I assessed the situation in comparison to the plan, and sent out a text to Lia describing the situation. She quickly responded with a message to all the minions.

 

[Lia: Suprex and Magenta have engaged Trebla. Ferrosa and Turbo are confirmed in the lobby. All minions please skip ahead to phase 5, we’ll be going with scenario 5B. Robo-Lemmings will be released into the lobby in two minutes.]