Side Dish #3

 

Pseudomonia benedicci, also known as Benedicci, is a symbiotic bacteria found in humans and several other animal species. Believed to be a highly advanced evolution, or mutation of, probiotic bacteria, Benedicci is most famous for its beneficial relationship with its host. Unlike other diseases, Benedicci regulates itself to not cause harm to its host, and increases the effectiveness of several bodily functions, primarily the immune system. The effectiveness of this improvement varies between individuals, and is commonly referred to as a Benedicci reaction.

The bacteria is transmitted in conditions similar to the common cold, i.e. airborne droplets (aerosols), direct contact with infected nasal secretions, or fomites (contaminated objects). Upon successfully transmitting to a new host, the bacteria begins to intentionally attract the immune system. At this point the host may develop cold-like symptoms that dissipate over the next twenty-four hours as the host and bacteria acclimate to each other. This process is nearly always guaranteed; however, in rare cases, the host’s immune system may never accept the bacteria and instead may attempt to eliminate it as a normal infection. Reapplication of a different strand of Benedicci can sometimes overcome this issue. The rate of transmission and acclimation of Benedicci increases during Odd Summer, giving credence to the theory that it is a Powered Disease.

Once accepted by the host’s immune system, the bacteria incubates and gathers at key organs within the host: the brain (primarily amygdala) , heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys. When an injury or infection by other diseases occurs, the Benedicci clusters will release Benedicci cells into the bloodstream, which will coordinate with white blood cells to eliminate harmful diseases.

In addition to supplementing the immune system, Benedicci can also help several other bodily functions, such as clearing out toxins or harmful drugs, and slowing blood flow to open wounds. As a result, hosts of Benedicci rarely succumb to shock.

In about ten percent of cases Benedicci will synergize with its host more than normal, providing enhancements in other bodily systems. This is commonly known as a good reaction, or high reaction. The opposite (such as when the body rejects Benedicci) is known as a bad reaction, and happens in less than one percent of cases. Good reactions can sometimes be so strong that they mimic powers. Examples include increased reaction speed, and wounds that close so quickly you can view the healing process with the naked eye. However, these extremes are very rare.

Benedicci was first found in a town called Last Stop near the Alaskan Barrier Wall. It came to the attention of Heroes who were tracking down spreading outbreaks of Mutavus, believed to have originated from a breach in the wall during Odd Summer a year prior. While most communities nearest the wall had fully succumbed to Mutavus, many citizens in the town of Last Stop had proven resistant to mutation, appearing fully human. An analysis of the unafflicted individuals showed that they hosted a previously unknown bacteria (named later as Benedicci). It was then decided by heroes at the scene to spread Benedicci to communities around Mutavus outbreaks to try and contain its spread. While containment measures ultimately failed, Benedicci is still a recognized preventative measure for Mutavus, and its use is credited with preventing millions of mutations across the globe.

Next time you turn in an essay late, at least refrain from parroting the wiki to me. See me after class. -Mr. K

 

Mikey woke up at 6:30 am, and for a second the thought that he was late for school had him struggling to escape his tangled blankets. Then he remembered that school was over, had been over since Friday, and he collapsed back into the mattress. He wouldn’t even need to be at work until ten, evil minion hours were surprisingly reasonable.

 

Mikey froze. That thought was like a cold splash of water, ruining any chance of going back to sleep. He was a minion. An honest-to-god, load the money, lower the hero into a vat full of lava minion. How had he ever thought this was a good idea? The explosion, the hostages, Turbo showing up to stop them, it was insane! True he had signed up for it and attended the orientation, but it hadn’t felt real until the job on Sunday. That had been what really hammered it home for Mikey.

 

Not for the first time, he wondered if that was kind of the point.

 

Deciding he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep, he kicked off the tangled knot of covers and went about dressing himself. Dark jeans and a shirt with no identifiable marks was all it took to be ready for the day. Hellion’s Henchmen didn’t really have a uniform per se, but he had been advised that clothing with no real markings and that avoided bright colors was the recommended.

 

That and the mask. Mikey’s eyes drifted to the little black “wristband” sitting on his desk. It unfolded into a standard domino mask easily as long as you knew how to twist it correctly. Ha, “standard.” Somehow it contained a simple communications system, an onboard map of E13, and lens to protect the eyes, all inside a tiny cloth band that matched the current fashion trends. The unassuming piece of tech was probably the most expensive thing Mikey owned, and the lady who had given it to him had grabbed it out of a box containing dozens more.

 

He grabbed the wristband and put it on before he forgot it. Then he wandered into the kitchen, and turned on the small t.v. to the news while he put together some cereal using the last of the powdered milk.

 

It seemed Odd Summer was definitely gearing up. The news casters didn’t even bother trying to list everything going on, simply talking about politics, or covering the new hero announcements, while a list of the worst affected sectors scrolled in the background. Not too bad actually. The east and west sectors usually got the worst of it, but today only S8, S9, and SW8 were under alert, with only NW5 under a lockdown warning. All of it well away from E13.

 

It wouldn’t last forever though. The casual bets of E13’s residents were never on whether or not E13 would see some shit. They bet on when it did happen, would it be bad enough to cause a lockdown, or if it would be caused by some bad trigger, or a monster, or maybe a fight with the local villains.

 

Like Hellion.

 

Mikey grimaced at the errant thought. It wasn’t a big deal. Like the lady had said, he could make the money he needed, then quit. A few days of grunt work, and then he could pay for college, get a degree or certification or something, get a legit job, and never mention this summer again. All he had to do for now was keep his head down.

 

No big deal.

 

Having lost his appetite for the cold cereal, he dumped the rest of the bowl in the sink, and headed out the door. He still had plenty of time before today’s job started (just placing devices for Hellion’s tinker again, thank god), but with nothing better to do, he headed in the direction of the local gym which hid the secret elevator.

 

That had been another surprise to Mikey. Secret entrances! Underground bases! Sure people knew there might be a lair here or there, but Hellion’s tunnels were extensive. For most of his life Hellion’s Henchmen had been that local gang in the background. You saw the graffiti tags, or the odd person in a minion mask near the more disreputable areas, but the realization that Hellion’s Henchmen was such a large player in the cowl community shocked Mikey. The past few days felt like he had sneaked a peek behind a theater curtain, only to discover Atlantis behind it. A super secret evil villain organization practically under his house! Tim would have gone nuts to learn about it all.

 

Mikey grimaced at the thought. Tim could never learn about this. He was the brother Mikey never had, but he was also as straight a shooter as they came, and a hero fanatic to boot. Mikey could only imagine Tim’s disappointment if he found out…

 

Mikey shook the thought away as he entered the secret passage into the elevator and donned the minion mask. Tim wouldn’t find out. Mikey would earn enough money for college, quit, and then he’d be able to stop lying to his best friend.

 

The elevator ride was smooth as normal, entirely at odds with Mikey’s tumultuous inner thoughts. Finally it stopped, and Mikey exited into the corridor that housed the multitude of elevators. It always felt like he was sneaking in for some reason, a bit magnified this time as he realized he really did have a lot of time before today’s job actually started. Perhaps he should have tried harder to get back to sleep.

 

He exited the elevator corridor into the large main chamber, and wandered in the direction of the garage, when he noticed a minion in a white mask waving at him. He tensed for a second, but relaxed immediately when he realized it was Tofu, and then chuckled as he walked over. Tofu was sitting at one of the tables with a small pile of muffins in front of him and his cellphone out, somehow utterly relaxed despite being surrounded by other minions eating breakfast, quite a few of them wearing the bone-white masks that marked them as being powered. He’d only known him a week or so, but Tofu just had this way of derailing serious situations that made him easy to like, and he had become a fast friend.

 

That and the whole getting Mikey’s money back and finding him a job thing. Mikey owed him big time for that.

 

Mikey sat and greeted Tofu, yawning as he did so. He really should have tried to sleep more.

 

“Mornin’ Tofu. Got enough muffins there?”

“No, but I was told you aren’t supposed to ‘hog’ them. Here, have one.”

 

Tofu handed over a muffin, and Mikey was surprised to find he was feeling hungry again.

 

While they ate, they talked about what had happened yesterday. Apparently Tofu had gone to the Red Zone, snuck into an Espada hideout, and rescued some guy named Jasper from the super villain Sanguine. Completely crazy, and yet Tofu had spent a mere five minutes retelling that adventure (glossing over most of the details), and then went on to tell Mikey about the company dinner in excruciating detail for nearly a half hour. That and a game on his phone called Griblin Tamer.

 

“Would you happen to know how to get past level five?”

“Nah, I’m not too big on mobile games.”

“Dang, and Viper wouldn’t tell me either. I’ll ask Nicole later then.”

“Why don’t you just look it up?”

“Nicole said only cheaters do that.”

“And asking others isn’t cheating?”

“No, it’s teamwork.”

 

Mikey laughed. Tofu was definitely an odd guy, but he was a good one.

 

They talked a bit longer, and Mikey was immensely glad to find out Tofu was on the same job crew today, but eventually they finished up and made to head out. Unexpectedly, Tofu headed in the direction of the gym.

 

“Tofu, where are you going? Garage is this way.”

“Morning training with Adder. I didn’t get to yesterday.”

“The job starts in like an hour.”

“Which gives us an hour to train. Are you not coming?”

“Ehhhh…” Mikey remembered getting the stuffing knocked out of him during orientation, and he wasn’t exactly eager to repeat the experience.

“Come on Mikey. You can’t miss both food and training. They’re important!” said Tofu.

 

Mikey let himself get dragged to the gym, and an hour later he was reconsidering whether Tofu was really a nice guy. Adder’s workout regime was brutal, or at least more than he had ever wanted to do in the morning. By the end of the hour, he felt like he had done more exercise than in every P.E. class put together, and Tofu hadn’t even broken a sweat despite getting tossed around the practice mat by Adder. Damn exercise addicts!

 

He grumbled half-heartedly, and rinsed his head under a faucet in the bathroom before heading to the garage with Tofu. There they found Fred and Brilla (minus hangovers today he noted), and another newbie called Tedic.

 

“Da fuck. Someone give you a swirly?” asked Tedic.

“Finished a workout.”

“Sure, whatever you say man.”

 

Mikey… didn’t much care for the guy. Yesterday Fred and Brilla had admitted to being hungover, and pulled seniority to have Mikey and Tedic do most of the heavy lifting while they set up the electronics. Tedic… had done some of his share of the work. Between talking about his “experience” in other gangs and how he was going to “climb the ranks,” with a not-so-subtle implication that Mikey should get into his good graces while he could.

If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it’s taken without the author’s consent. Report it.

 

“Alright guys, same as yesterday, load the truck and let’s skedaddle,” said Fred, this time helping to load the truck himself now that he was sans hangover.

 

Tofu and Mikey chatted about the Gribblin game Tofu was trying to beat, and Mikey got a kick out of Tedic realizing he was already friends with Tofu. Tedic tried to join the smalltalk, but was woefully uninformed about games, or cooking, or any of the other topics that Tofu tended to rapidly switch to, and Mikey had to admit that watching Tedic try and fail to endear himself to Tofu was in no small amount cathartic after all his big talk yesterday.

 

The last of the boxes got stored, they piled in, and they drove off for what Mikey hoped would be another uneventful day.

 

---

 

The job was simple enough. Take the devices Socket had made, and install them in places where they wouldn’t be noticed. Under mailboxes, on top of buildings, some of the devices were even small enough to tape to the sides of buildings and spray paint over them so that they fit in with the years of old graffiti.

 

Of course, in a few cases they had to check spots where devices had failed for one reason or another and try to recover them, which was why Mikey had climbed up to a billboard to replace a real clunker of a gizmo. This one was really strapped tight for some reason.

 

ZaP “Damnit!”

 

Mikey cursed a bit. That static had hurt for real, if it wasn’t a battery leak or something. He hoped the gizmo wouldn’t explode on him or something stupid.

 

“Yo Mikey hurry it up already!” Tedic yelled from below where he was keeping “lookout.”

“Gimme a sec, this one’s finicky!” he yelled back. Bleh, he wished for the hundredth time that he had gone with a different nickname then his own, but he hadn’t been thinking all that clearly when he was in the interview. He doubted he could have actually kept anything from an organization like Hellion’s anyways, but at least it would have kept idiots like Tedic from yelling it in public where anyone could hear.

 

He searched through the bag of tools he had lugged up with him, and found a pair of heavy duty gloves which he pulled from the bag. Then he got to work trying to unstrap the belts and fastenings keeping the device in place. Why the hell was this one so complicated? Some of Socket’s devices were rather ambitious (one had been indistinguishable from a large blue mailbox), but this one was a bit strange. Most of Socket’s stuff looked like it could have come off an assembly line, but this one looked like it had been hastily slapped together from dumpster parts. In fact, if Mikey didn’t know any better he would think-

 

Snap! Twang!

 

One of the belts he had been trying to loosen snapped, and several metal braces and wires snapped together on his hand like a bear trap, before the whole thing sparked to life.

 

“Holy fuck!” Mikey yelled as the rogue gizmo tried to zap him into submission. Luckily the gloves worked, and the booby trap (for what else could it be) spent itself without doing more than sending a tingle up his arm and giving him goosebumps, though his hand remained stuck in the contraption.

 

“Mikey! What the hell happened!?”

“It was booby trapped! My hand’s stuck in it! Get up here and help me open this thing!”

“Uh, can’t you open it!?”

“Not one-handed, now get up here!”

“I’ll uh, I’ll get the others! Be right back with help!” Tedic yelled as he ran down the alley.

“Tedic! TEDIC! Goddamnit.” Mikey struggled with the trap before slumping and giving up. He didn’t want to accidentally make it worse somehow, you never knew what surprises a gizmo might have for you.

 

He settled in to wait for help, hopefully they’d get here soon. Someone had set this trap, and none of the possibilities were good. A hero (unlikely given the type of trap), a vigilante, some villain not associated with Hellion. A vigilante might just rough him up a bit, but if it was a villain…

 

“You alright mister?”

“GAH!” Mikey jumped at the unexpected voice, and spun as best he could with his hand trapped to look at the source. It was a kid! A mutant kid. He was about twelve if Mikey had to guess, and had an extra pair of arms that stuck out of tears in the kid’s shirt. The kid’s overalls were weighed down with the weight of all the items in his pockets, including a slingshot that stuck out of one, and for some reason he was wearing a pair of swimming goggles.

 

Mikey gaped at the new arrival, unsure what to make of him. Sure he was just a kid, but it was Odd Summer right now. Mikey had forgotten about the fourth option of the trap just being set by some nutjob.

 

“Need any help?” asked the kid.

“Um… I mean, if you can get this trap off my hand,” said Mikey unsurely.

“Sure, no problem! Two hundred bucks.”

Mikey sputtered. Was this kid actually trying to shake him down!?