Ch16 They Are Made Of Meat

I want corrosive spit. That substance Nicole produced ate through the giant rat’s flesh and bone in seconds. The practical applications of such a substance in combat are extensive. Outside of combat I can just use micro units to deconstruct what I want, but inside combat the micro units are simply too slow to use effectively. Plus if the signal gets interrupted (by say a thrashing opponent) then the micro units just self-destruct and it becomes a waste of resources. But a fast acting solution that can be applied at range? Invaluable.

 

Although storage is a problem. If the storage organ ruptures in a fight then you are just dousing your own insides with acid, which would be…. unpleasant. Nicole obviously stores it somehow, I’ll have to ask her about it when I see her again. Maybe she’d be willing to give me a sample? Either way, I had a lot of information to compile from the night’s activities.

After I left the sewer I answered the message Imp sent . A few seconds later I received instructions to head to a ‘safe house’, along with a small direction indicator that appeared in the corner of my vision. I began following the indicator at a fast walk, making sure to scan the sky for any signs of Magenta. Meeting her twice in one night wouldn’t be pleasant, and I had already had enough potentially lethal events for today. Luckily this late at night the streets were mostly empty, and what few drones I encountered got out of my way in a hurry. The mask really was a good deterrent. Even one of the combat drones, covered in patches of chitin and spikes, crossed the street when it saw me and hurried away.

 

But it wasn’t really a ‘combat drone’ now was it.

 

“Are you still human?” Nicole had asked me. Which implied that despite looking like a partially melted and shredded torso at the time, I had still resembled a ‘human’. And since she implied I should be wearing armbands like the drones do it appears that the name of the drone species is ‘human’. So, one mystery solved. Not even that big a secret really, the drones constantly used “hey man” as a generic greeting, obviously a shortened ‘slang’ version of “hello human.”

 

So it appears humans are not arranged into drones/combat drones/ progenitors, but instead into drones/progenitors, and due to this ‘mutavus’ the drones sometimes go through a metamorphosis of human > mutant > monster. And I wasn’t even that sure about there being progenitors anymore, it was entirely possible they made new drones in a lab similar to the test chambers. After all, most castes seemed to be determined by training and not by any biological markers. A very confusing system to decipher.

 

I think my confusion was understandable though. Many cycles ago (back before I received Human.exe) I had fought an interesting organism in a combat test. Unlike other organisms that worked singularly or in packs, this one worked as a massive swarm of individual drones that all served the group as a whole. They had six legs, a chitinous exoskeleton, multifaceted eyes, antenna, and were quite tiny. True, I had been small myself back then, but they still had not been a difficult opponent. I ate the first drones en-masse, and when larger, more aggressive soldier drones came I ate them as well. I followed the trail of drones all the way to the progenitor that made new drones, and then the “fight” was over. It had been an easy test, and that organism was only presented to me once, but the uniqueness of the encounter had prompted me to record the details, and when I gained Human.exe my observations of the white-coats prompted me to model them after the tiny chitin-drones. The similarities were there, after all. So, one small mystery solved.

 

Now the real mystery is why my best weapon, Human.exe, is clearly labeled with the moniker of the most dominant and deadly species I’d come across. True, I’d never seen ‘human’ written before, but I’d spent nearly a week attending ‘school’, and that had been long enough to learn how to match letters with sounds. It couldn’t be more obviously labeled, maybe it was actually a white-coat program? Some kind of puzzle test to see how I would react? But that didn’t make sense, if it was my escape from the test chambers would have been countered in seconds, and the signal that gave me the protocol didn’t match that of the white-coats anyways.

 

So, now my greatest weapon was a protocol of indeterminate origin, given to me for an unknown purpose, and the entire thing was so clearly labeled a single-celled organism could probably figure out the clues linking it to ’humans’.

 

Odd, so very odd.

While mulling over this new information I eventually reached the ‘safe house’, which turned out to be an apartment on the second level of a building that opened when I pressed my mask to the door. Inside was a short hallway that ended in a reinforced door.

 

Approaching the door a panel near the top opened, and I could see a pair of masked eyes looking out from inside.

 

“Name, passcode,” said the voice.

 

“Tofu, training team, zero, four, up,” I replied, stating the passcode I had been given before the mission started.

 

“Wow, you really did survive. Alright, one sec,” and the panel closed before the sound of a heavy bolt sliding was heard. The door opened and a minion with a black mask greeted me, extending his hand to shake mine like many humans did.

 

“Wow, you look pretty good for a guy that just got torn in half. You can call me Fred by the way.”

 

Huh?

 

“How did you know about that?”

 

“Oh dude, it’s all over the net. We’ve been watching it on repeat, Magenta’s face when she gets sprayed is priceless. Come on, some of the guys from team three are still up, I’ll introduce you.”

 

Fred led me into the apartment kitchen, where two more minions in black masks, and one mutant with metallic platelets imbedded in its skin and a powered minion mask, were gathered around the table. They had an assortment of colorful flat rectangles which they appeared to be arranging into specific patterns, human fondness for rectangles on full display.

 

“Hey guys! Guess who decided to not die!” said Fred.

 

“No way! For real?” said one of the black masks.

 

“Ha, knew it! Pay up!” said the mutant. The other minions groaned and threw money over to him. “Heh, since you survived this makes tonight’s job a hundred percent success. All targets hit, no arrests, and no fatalities. For a job this size it’s goddamn amazing. Hey Fred, wake the others. We can’t be sleeping now, we gotta celebrate!” said the mutant.

 

From there the minions started pulling out food and drinks, as well as rousing the others. Apparently they were part of team three, one of several of Hellion’s teams that had been working tonight. The mutant (who went by Pebbles) handed me a ‘beer’.

 

“Haha, this makes you an official bonehead Tofu. Drink up!”

 

“Bonehead?” I asked.

 

“It’s because of the masks,” answered Pebbles, rapping his knuckles on his own helmet. “They look sorta skullish, and some of the heroes would call us boneheads back in the early days as a joke. Name stuck, and I’ll tell you they don’t laugh at the name anymore.”

 

The other minions arrived, groggy and tired at first, but once they realized it was a ‘party’ and the reason for it they livened up quickly. Beer was passed out freely, and someone linked their phone to the ‘big screen’ in the apartment so they could play the footage of my fight against Magenta. It was… the only emotion that matches is ‘embarrassing’. Apparently someone had used a recording device to capture my fight with Magenta, if you could call it a fight. More like my mad scramble for freedom, but the minions cheered when I hit her with the manhole cover and laughed at the look on her face when she got sprayed with viscera. Luckily the video didn’t give away my disguise, I wasn’t quite the right shape for a human in the video, but apparently being a ‘regenerator’ gives me a lot of leeway on how I look during a fight.

 

Or maybe they were just really intoxicated, they don’t seem to handle certain ‘alcohol’ compounds very well. I wonder why they drink them then?

 

The party went on for a long time (I learned how to play ‘cards’), only ending an hour before sunrise. Eventually the only other minion awake was Pebbles, and we were sitting at the kitchen table talking.

 

“Heh, that’ll teach them to try and outdrink mutants,” Pebbles mumbled past his beer. “Er, wait, rude to assume, sorry. I never did ask, you a mutant? Uh, wait, you don’t gotta answer that. Sorry, pretty drunk.”

 

“I don’t mind… although, what would the difference be?”

 

“HA! Yer damn right! It doesn’t make a difference! Not to Hellion at least!”

 

Several drones who were trying to sleep yelled at Pebbles to shut up, and he quieted, chagrinned. I decided to ask again, I wanted a real answer.

 

“Um, I was asking seriously.”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“I mean, I’m a regenerator, but lots of mutants and supers have regeneration. Is there really a difference?”

 

“Ha, that’s a nice way of looking at it Tofu. But reality ain’t so pretty,” he took a sip of beer. “You can’t have both a super power and a mutation, but both give power, and if you can get power either way who would want the option that makes you half lobster or spider or whatever?”

 

“You can’t have both? Why is that?”

 

“What, you want to know, like, the actual science of it? Shit I don’t know. I didn’t pass high school you want me to explain meta-physic stuff?” he paused to take another drink, “I’ll let you in on what I do know though. Everyone is always hoping they get a power, and dreading getting the virus, but between you and me mutavus is probably the better outcome.”

 

Odd, that hadn’t been my observation at all.

 

“Why is that?”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

 

He took a long swig of his beer and then leaned in towards me, speaking softly.

 

“My old man, now, he used to be a mean drunk. One night was worse than usual. Beat me into a bloody pulp, eyes swollen shut, face was just one large bruise, I’m sure my ribs were busted and worse. He left me on the floor with my head ringing and went to get another drink. I needed a doctor but wasn’t gonna get one. That’s when this happened.”

 

At this he gestured to the skin on his arm, it was thick and leathery, with the small metallic platelets interspersed to provide extra armor and reinforce the flesh.

 

He continued, “Mutavus saved my life. True it hasn’t been all peaches and cream since, but I never got beat half to death by my old man again. Mutavus didn’t give me amazing supernatter- supernature- whatever powers, but it gave me exactly what I needed. That’s the difference between the virus, and whatever cosmic monkey paw it is that hands out powers. Mutavus gives you what you need and not an inch more, the damn monkey gives you what you want, but I’ll tell you, be careful what you wish for. They can both be cruel bastards, but at least Mutavus doesn’t have a sense of humor.”

 

Pebbles fell asleep soon after he finished his (suspect) explanation of Mutavus.

 

He was really drunk.

 

---

 

I didn’t rest very long, only until the sun rose. I had too many things on my mind and a long list of small chores I wanted to get done today, so I made myself some coffee and a ‘bagel’ to-go before leaving the safe house. Luckily there was one of those hidden elevators so I was able to reach the main base without having to navigate above-ground.

 

The elevator opened and I exited into the large hallway that housed the elevator doors, hopefully I would be able to find one of the lieutenants. I wanted to pick up my payment for the job, and I wanted to ask most of them a question or two.

 

I reached the common room where the orientation had taken place. There were a few masked drones about, but it was still pretty empty. Luckily I spotted one of the lieutenants. Sandra was here, sitting and eating breakfast at a table. I approached and greeted her.

 

“Hello Sandra. I wanted to ask a few questions if you have time.”

 

Sandra looked at me and blinked a bit before reacting. Then she spoke.

 

“Tofu? I, I admit I didn’t expect to see you so soon. Imp said you responded, but I saw the footage of the fight. Are, are you feeling alright?”

 

“Yes, I’m fine, thank you for asking.”

 

Sandra gave me a concerned look.

 

“Then why are you carrying an empty coffee pot?” she asked.

 

“I couldn’t find a cup large enough to hold all the coffee,” I answered.

 

“I, I see,” she responded before giving me another look. Was my disguise incorrect? I checked it before I left.

 

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay then. What can I help you with this morning?

 

“I was wondering how to collect payment for the job?”

 

“Oh, we usually send out the money after everything has been tallied, that takes about a day or two. Is it urgent?”

 

Oh, right, the money.

 

“Um, yes, I could use some money. I was also wondering about the Kobe beef? Imp said we would keep some for ourselves?”

 

She gave me another confused look before breaking into a smile.

 

“We will be having a company dinner to celebrate tonight, I’ll make sure you get a portion. In the meantime I can set you up with a small cash advance until the paychecks go out. Would a chit be fine?”

 

“Yes, a chit would be great. Thank you Sandra.” Chits were accepted at Maggie’s.

 

“You’re welcome. You can pick it up in my office later. Was there anything else I can answer for you?”

 

“Yes, have you seen Adder or Viper? I wanted to ask them some questions too.”

 

“Adder is in the training room doing her morning practice. As for Lily she won’t be in for a few more hours, what did you need from her?”

 

“I wanted her help with a phone, I don’t know how to work it.”

 

“Oh, well I’m no Lily, but I’m sure I can help you with that.”

 

I pulled out the phone Nicole had given me. I had formed pockets in the right place just for this scenario.

 

“Well, I can see why you might have trouble with it, this looks like tinker tech… Tofu, you didn’t pull this off a hero did you?”

 

“No, it was given to me by someone I met after Magenta injured me, she let me borrow it.”

 

“Alright, but in the future remember not to trust any tech whose source you don’t know. Especially hero tech, they always bug their gadgets.”

 

“I’ll remember.”