Book Six, Chapter 8: The Fire Ferret

I was struck by how normal working at Pecatto’s was. It was too ordinary.

It felt like Carousel was rubbing it in our faces.

That wasn’t to say there weren’t some odd things.

Camden had looked through all of the timesheets and schedules and found that there were three no-call, no-shows. We followed up with Jerrica and found that those were just former employees who had dropped off the face of the earth.

“We should follow up,” Camden said. “Track down these people. Talk to their families. See if they really quit, or if they went missing.”

“I don’t know,” I said. We were Off-Screen, so I could speak freely. “Do you really want to drill down on the realism aspect? I still think the longer we can go without our characters knowing something is wrong, the better. It’s not even First Blood yet.”

He seemed to consider this idea.

“But what are we supposed to do? We haven’t even seen any enemies,” he said.

“Let’s try to figure out what story Carousel is trying to tell. For some reason, I don’t think it’s a murder mystery. After First Blood, if we don’t make any progress, we can start following all the leads. But for right now, I think it would be best if only you and Anna act suspicious of the place.”

They were likely the main characters, though Carousel was picking on Isaac, so that could mean something.

We were in the break room, in the middle of our shift.

“So what do you think is happening?” Anna asked. “This place is so creepy when you know something is wrong, but you don’t know what it is.”

Anna had gotten to know everyone, the other employees, the family, management, some of the food suppliers, and, of course, the customers. No one even hinted that things had gone wrong.

“It’s driving me crazy,” Camden said. “The Bonaventuras just seem like a normal family. Well, not normal for my family, but like they could be from Earth.”

The family didn’t seem in on the supernatural aspect of the restaurant. Or they were faking even better than the Patchers did.

“Heads up, we’re about to be On-Screen,” I said. “Look, the Atlas was pretty clear about this storyline. Once you see what it’s about, you can’t unsee it. And we have the pizza lead.”

There were not a lot of horror movies where the first clue that something is about to go wrong is that pizza appears from nowhere.

“We’ll always have that sixth pizza,” Camden repeated.

I could tell he was anxious. This storyline took at least a week and a half, according to the Atlas. We had only been here a few days. It had an extended Party Phase; maybe it was meant to give us time to explore. Maybe it was meant to give us the exact anxiety Camden was feeling.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” I said.

“At least it won’t be bed bugs,” Camden said.

Someone had spoiled the Itch storyline for him.

“At least it won’t be bed bugs,” I repeated. “Five seconds to On-Screen.”

On-Screen

“I don’t see the point in touring other schools when I know I’m going to go to Carousel U,” Camden said.

“The point was that we got to skip class,” Anna said.

They didn’t get to finish their little impromptu conversation because the door to the break room opened up suddenly.

In walked a giant six-foot-tall fiery ferret.

Anna started to laugh immediately.

“Don’t say anything,” Isaac said as he threw off the head to the mascot uniform.

I couldn’t help but laugh. Isaac had been a real punching bag for Carousel in this storyline. This was something else.

“I didn’t even know they had mascot costumes,” Camden said as Isaac waddled across the floor, dropped his ferret head, and then tried to pick it up, to little success.

“Why would a burned ferret be a pizza place mascot, anyway?” Isaac asked.

“Well, he’s a fire ferret,” I said. “Unfortunately, the lava plumes that he’s native to were wiped out by forestation, so Frankie the Fire Ferret searched far and wide for a new home. Until eventually, he found Pecatto’s Pizza Parlor, and Hot Head let him live inside his mouth.”

“I’m not at all surprised that you know that,” Isaac said, glaring at me.

“You know me. I love the lore,” I said.

Frankie was orange and long, and he had a crazed look on his face with his tongue permanently stuck outside of his mouth. He looked exactly like the real animatronic that would sometimes pop out of Hot Head’s mouth and scream at the other characters.

“So why are you wearing that?” Anna asked. “Did you forget your uniform again?”

“No,” Isaac said. “There’s a birthday, and we all have to go sing.”

I looked at Camden.

“All of us?” I asked. “Even back-of-house people?”

Isaac gave me a defiant look and a smile.

“Everybody.”

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

And so there was a little girl whose birthday had come, and she had chosen to spend it with us at Pecatto’s.

We all had to sing, which was great for me because it meant I could not sing and no one would notice. Ruck, who had not actually gotten a job there, still hung out trying to get attention from Avery. He sang louder than everyone else.

If it had been my birthday, I would have been mortified. But the little girl smiled and clapped and blew out the candles on her cake.

And nothing really happened.

Not to me, at least.

This scene was about Avery and Ruck. He would playfully ask her out, and she would turn him down. It was a totally normal thing to see in an ’80s or ’90s movie, but it probably wouldn’t hold up for modern audiences.

“Look, Avery,” I heard him saying. “One day, you’re gonna pick a guy to settle down with, and people are going to say things about it. They’re either going to say, ‘Oh, you two are perfect for each other’—gag—or they’re gonna say, ‘Wow man, she’s way out of your league.’ Could you imagine the self-confidence you would get from constantly being told that you’re out of your husband’s league?”

“Husband?” Avery asked, shocked.

“Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself,” Ruck said.

“Way ahead,” Avery said.

They continued to banter back and forth.

And it was important that they did. Avery had a trope called The Neighborhood Boys, which empowered her character’s admirers to help save or protect her. It would seem that was what Ruck was being set up for here, which made it important.

And she really needed to set this type of thing up soon, because despite us not learning a whole lot about the storyline, we were getting close to First Blood.

Isaac tried to inject himself into the conversation, too; his crush, which had mostly maintained a veneer of innocence, would also give him access to buffs from Avery’s tropes. So he really needed to continue playing up that angle.

The fact that he was wearing a giant ferret costume did not bode well for him in his attempts.