Chapter 24- Disgraceful Sparring

Word got around Bamboo Medicine Hut quickly. By the time the tea party reached the martial practice courtyards, a sizable crowd had gathered. Hong huddled with Tian and gave him some last minute instructions.

“No matter what he says, don’t kill him, don’t cripple him, don’t destroy his cultivation, don’t castrate him. Don’t hit his face either. That’s important.” Hong was rattling through a list of “exchanging pointers” do’s and don’ts. Mostly “don’ts,” though “Let him show off a bit first” was a pretty mysterious “do.”

“Sure. This is a teaching match, right?” Tian asked. He had already categorized “Daoist Ho” as a child, despite the man being older than him. There was a lightness to Ho that made Tian think that way. Not a light body art, but a lack of substance.

“Yes, but no. He’s fighting for face. That’s what all this is about. The puffed up fool has doubtless spent his life lording over the vegetable farmers about how he is a true warrior. Now he gets a chance to prove it somewhere he won’t get seriously hurt if he loses. He even covered his ass by insisting on boxing instead of fighting with weapons. That way, when he loses, he can say it was only because he handicapped himself. You can’t let him win or you are throwing our face, though I don’t think there is any chance you would do that. Just let him show off a bit, try to make sure there are no hard feelings from his sect mates, then win decisively.”

“Of all the overcomplicated nonsense…” Tian muttered. He couldn’t stand to listen to any more advice. He walked out onto the flagstone square and clasped his fist in a martial salute. “Ancient Crane Mountain Tian Zihao. Let’s learn from each other, Daoist Ho.”

“Bamboo Medicine Hut Ho Jinpei. I shall test the might of the strongest sect in the Broad Sky Kingdom!”

Tian smiled politely, and gestured for Daoist Ho to begin.

“Prepare yourself!” The young man dropped back onto his right leg, left extended out in front of him. Sallow face set in a ferocious frown over the green and brown of his robes. Ho’s fists wheeled through the air, gathering in a vaguely pincer shape next to his head. “Twin Star Fists, First Alignment- Hammerfall!”

Tian bit back a swear. He could set out a table and brew a fresh pot of tea while he waited for this so-called warrior to do whatever it was that he was doing instead of sparring. He’d have time for snacks.

The young man launched off his back leg, thrusting forward with both fists. Tian took a slight step to one side. The fists went wide.

It was the single most idiotic thing Tian had ever seen on a sparring field. The attack took seconds to launch and wouldn’t have done much if it hit. Vital energy was completely scattered. No unification of breath and strength. Tempo was a non-factor. No sense of distance. Worse, the stupid attack over-extended, leaving the young man trapped and helpless to respond to any counter attacks.

How, exactly, was he supposed to let this go on? Was there some way to do this without looking like he was bullying the boy?

“Nice footwork. But can you dodge this? Twin Star Fists, Second Alignment, Star of Calamity!” Ho roared.

Tian slowly lowered his hands and clasped them behind his back. A slight step and subtle twist let him avoid another comic lunge.

“Fast feet won’t-” Tian stopped listening. He avoided the attacks with utter ease. It wasn’t a case of reading the young man’s elemental energy. Ho’s control over his energy was too incompetent to make following the flow useful. The young man was just slow. And sloppy. And seemed to have never sparred before in his life. Worst of all, he really seemed to think he was doing something.

Could this really be considered boxing, even in a peaceful sect?

Tian spared a glance for the still gathering crowd. The disciples from Bamboo Medicine Hut seemed awed, and cheered their sectmate on. Lin seemed determined to pretend she was reading a book rather than watching the scene. Brother Wang and Sister Su looked stoic on the surface, but Tian could read the contempt in their eyes. Sister Su’s expression was rapidly shading towards open disgust. Sister Hong already looked faintly disgusted, and, oddly, embarrassed.

Actually, he found her embarrassment completely reasonable. He was embarrassed just standing here. His fury was being choked by the shame of taking this imbecile’s words to heart for even one second. But more than shame or the insult Ho gave him, was a new and rapidly growing fury that anyone could consider this actual training!

“Pincer Strike! Charging-”

Tian raised his hand and stopped the young man. “Fellow Daoist Ho, why do you insist on shaming us both with this display?!”

He had tried to keep his voice mild. He really had. Judging by the deathly silence, he failed.

“If your skills-”

“My skills, Daoist Ho, are not the problem. If you want to spar, spar. If you want to put on an exhibition, tell me and I will help you. But this… mockery…” Tian struggled to put into words what he was feeling. “This humiliation of training to not get beaten to death, is fucking obscene!”

He blew out a shuddering breath, clawing back some of his composure. This trash wouldn’t last an hour in the Wastes. Wouldn’t last an hour in West Town Temple for that matter. He felt dirty. Tian didn’t want to imagine what his brothers would say if they saw him playing along with this fool.

Brother Fu would be disappointed by his disgraceful display. He should treat the child like a child. Taking no offense from his stupid words and stupid behavior. Brother Fu had shown Tian immense patience. Maybe he could offer a bare smidge of that to this… Daoist. He glanced back at Ho, who looked like he had been slapped.

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“Daoist Ho, I am going to assume the best and treat you as ignorant. I will attack you now. I am going to pull my hits. I’m even going to tell you what art I’m using. It’s Thunderous Palms, by the way, a soft yin-yang art that uses exclusively palm strikes. I won’t use a light body art or anything else. I won’t even knock you out. This will finally be an actual exchange of pointers. And, Daoist Ho? Here is the first one. I won’t strike your head, but you are still going to want to tighten up.”

Tian flew forwards, his blue robe fluttering behind him. Ho raised his hands in front of him. It was possible that it was some sort of guard stance. Tian didn’t even need to strike a hand aside to plant a palm directly over Ho’s heart. “Dead.”

He shifted to the right and slapped a kidney. “Crippled.” He kept moving, striking the base of the spine. “Parilyzed.”

Four more slaps landed sharply across Ho’s back before had even started turning to face Tian. “Dead, dead, dead, dead.” Tian kept circling and slapping.

“Dead.”

“Crippled.”