Chapter 26- Ominous Isn’t Always a Bad Sign

“I must confess, I am a little disappointed. Particularly because it does so many things well. The presentation boxes are really nice, and the flavor from the oranges is great. The aroma is excellent, fresh and lively, and as promised, you really can steep it over and over again without it losing its qi. It comes down to the choice of tea. White tea isn’t a bad choice, but it’s not the right choice.”

Tian spoke with more sorrow than anger. Everyone else thought it was quite nice, but Tian knew better. “The Harmony Village style tea that Sister Lin has would be a much better fit. The savory woodyness of it would add both depth and body to the brightness of the orange. Particularly since the aged orange rind isn’t aggressively sweet in the first place. It needs the supporting notes to bring the necessary fullness and mouthfeel.”

The tea service had been moderately successful. He hadn’t added much qi to the tea so the mortals could safely enjoy it. How much elemental understanding they picked up was pretty uncertain. Tian noticed it was strongly variable, with people naturally understanding more about the elements they were already somewhat familiar with. The person who had gotten the most out of it so far was Daoist Mei, but she was a prodigy of the Five Elements Courtyard. It would have been stranger if she didn’t pick up on everything.

He closed his eyes with a light sigh. When he opened them again, they flashed with determination. “We shall save the rinds from the Sungold Oranges, and acquire this… Harmony Village Tea. If the Lin Clan can get it, then so can we. We shall make our own tea-stuffed oranges.” He set his cup down on the tray with a click of grim finality.

“Incidentally, Censor, Little Treasure, you can go ahead and study the diagrams if you want. No need to keep sneaking peeks, we have enough supplies to make you plenty of the lotion too.”

“Can I really, Brother Immortal?” Little Treasure shot up and looked ready to rush off. Hong nodded along with Tian.

“Sure. Try to remember the pictures and how they made you feel. Don’t worry about the words or the internal circulation pathways. It’s still too soon for you to learn that. But you will definitely benefit if you start practicing the physical movements now.” Hong encouraged the boy.

Censor Henshen coughed awkwardly. “I’m not sure that’s really appropriate, Immortal Tian. At least for me. This is an art clearly intended for the use of the Imperial Family.”

“Yes… about that.” There were literal bushels of oranges preserved in the spiritual wax of the Tallow Tree. Hong was silently calculating on her fingers as she looked at the loot and looked at the number of oranges on the trees.

“The monk outside said that orange trees live for a hundred, maybe a hundred and fifty years. But this orchard was planted around the same time the kingdom was established, making it at least a few thousand years old. Even for trees, that’s a damned long time.” Liren’s voice was heavy with suspicion.

“And Starsieve is still alive, so… that’s alarming in a way. Reassuring in another, I guess. Ancient Crane Monastery really can provide a path to true immortality.” Tian smiled slightly, remembering a conversation he had with Auntie Wu. Immortal cultivators weren’t really immortal, just very long lived compared to mortals. She had scolded him and told him not to tell anyone else that. Everyone knew, they were just touchy about it.

“My point is that these clearly aren’t normal trees, and the arrays and the dragon vein, whatever that is, has clearly done something to everything in here. It’s subtle, but it’s here.” Hong waved past Tian’s observation. “But spiritual trees tend to produce less fruit, because they are concentrating their energy into just a few fruits. Look on the trees- each tree has a dozen, maybe a score of oranges, and the oranges are damned small. That’s not much compared to a normal orange tree. They are shorter, too.”

“You grow oranges?”

“My mom does. Or, well, we have a couple of orange trees planted near the house. We grow a lot of food crops near the house. Trying to see what will still grow.” Her voice turned bitter, then she shook it off. “Figure the tree spirit ate lots of oranges. There are still, what, ten years worth of harvests here? More? We have two storage rings full of aged oranges, and there is a sentence I never thought I would say. So how did it all pile up? How did the spirit turn so twisted? How come we don’t hear about any Imperial experts slaughtering the rebellious with their Dragon Suppressing Palms?”

There was silence in the orchard as everyone scratched their heads about that one. Then Tian laughed.

“Oh heavens, it’s an Imperial Family Secret. And not just any secret, something passed down through the main line.”

“Probably? So?”

“So Empress Zhu killed off essentially all of the Imperial Family. The secret died with them. Zhu’s husband was never supposed to inherit the throne, and even if the previous emperor told him, he was bedridden after a stroke for years. That spirit has probably gone crazy, trapped in here all by itself with nothing to do but stare at pictures of a martial art it can’t use properly, and eat oranges that are contrary to its nature. I guarantee the reason there is so much wax available is because the spirit collected each seed off the ground and processed them to make sure neither it, nor its mother, had any competition.”

The word ‘competition’ triggered memories of the bathhouse. The weak concubine, ‘enjoying’ the advances of the Emperor, and the concubine who destroyed the other concubine’s tea set. Did Censor Hanshen say how old Zhu was when she was recruited into the imperial household? It was fourteen, wasn’t it?

Tian poured out the rest of the tea pot into the cups, and started tidying up. He took another sip of the tea and sighed. Most people would probably think it tasted good, but it hurt knowing it could be so much better. Ah well. It would be one he could serve on special occasions to mortals or something.

“Grandpa, can we make the paste the murals describe here? Or the ointment you mentioned?”

Sorry, no, for both. You will want some manner of alchemist for the paste, and the ointment I have in mind does take some finicky temperature controls. Best done on a proper stove, with proper equipment.

There was a pause.

Also, I want to start encouraging you to beat the hell out of any alchemist you catch trying to make medicine out of lead and mercury. Just as a sort of ongoing public service. Be very direct with them. They won’t get better unless you explain, and you will want time to rest your slapping hand. It can get sore over a long learning opportunity, and you can’t help others if you don’t take care of yourself.

“Let’s get ready to move on. We need to find an alchemist to make the paste, and we certainly won’t learn the art in a day. I think there is a convent a few days from here. Let’s stop by and see what help they can give us. With any luck, they will have our mail.” Tian said, determined to ignore Grandpa.

Stolen story; please report.

“Um. Immortal Big Bro?”

“Yes, Little Treasure?”

“Was the grandpa of the imperial family really the sectmaster of the Ancient Crane Monastery?”

“Well… maybe. It might be a sort of affectionate relationship. Those seniors get very old, and who knows how many generations removed the Founding Emperor was from Grand Elder Starsieve?”

“Oh. It sounded like he was his real grandpa.”