Chapter 47- Blazing in the Dark

Grandpa wasn’t wrong about how long he was going to last up on the stalagmite. He was tough, but it had been a bad few hours.

“So how do I-”

Tian, I said YOU have to study them and figure it out. I will say that you have the tools you need, and remember it’s not a question of making a spell or something. It’s about understanding. Understanding the Fire, and yourself. Once you do, you can make a home for the fire within you.

“Should I be doing this with all the elements?”

Shouldn’t need to. Metal is going to be a bit of a bastard for you, but you will manage. Earth is a doddle. Water and Wood go without saying. It’s really fire that’s your nemesis.

Tian nodded and stared into the fire qi. Understanding fire as a way to stop it from harming you. He really didn’t see how that could work. He could understand a rock perfectly, and his foot would still hurt if he kicked a mountain. Was fire qi really something you could “understand” your way around?

He stared into the fire, feeling his mood being forcibly elevated by the qi in the room even as he instinctively wanted to feel… afraid. He wanted to feel more afraid than he did. He remembered what it was like living with burn scars. It was part of all his earliest memories.

Every move he made in the junkyard was paid for with pain. He couldn’t stretch in certain ways without tearing the burns. He couldn’t walk without paining them. They looked hideous. He looked so disfigured people thought he was a diseased animal. It wasn’t just the burns that made him hideous, but they were part of it.

A life whose bounds were defined by the pain of burns. Then he destroyed his body and rebuilt it from lotuses and venomous adders. Was that why he was so yin? So quiet and cautious? Every move had a price in pain. It was so much better to remain still.

Except he couldn’t stand seeing his kind brothers dying. And he loved his new body. And he loved cultivating. He loved moving so freely and rejoicing in the open sky. He wouldn’t keep going around and around with tea and snacks if he didn’t enjoy it on some level. He wouldn’t be making friends. He wouldn’t have found his dad. A father who had lit the hearth for him, warming him after he suffered the winds and the rains of the world outside the Temple.

He was scared of fire. He just was. He didn’t trust it and couldn’t forget the pain of it. No matter how delicious cooked food was, or how comforting a campfire could be, or how cozy an oil lamp made a room. There were talismans you could buy that would make light too. Other sects probably had enchanted items that would make light for hours or days, maybe. It didn’t have to be fire all the time.

So could he accept it?

Tian stared into the flickering fire qi and watched the Scarlet Bird zip around. It looked pretty happy. Quite different from the stubborn turtle-snake thing. It couldn’t seem to focus. Always flying, never perched. It seemed a tiring sort of way to be.

Could he really accept the fire into him? Could he… Tian laughed. Could he forgive the fire for all the pain it had caused him? What a silly thing to think. Could the element that made up a fifth of existence kindly repent and show remorse so that Tian could take some satisfaction in forgiving it? After all, everything he had suffered at fire’s “hands” was clearly intentional and premeditated.

How could he even bring fire into himself? He was basically a giant pile of kindling. He had just proven that. The thought made him hesitate. It wasn’t strictly correct. Actually, it wasn’t remotely correct. He already had fire in him. Everybody did. The real question was, could he make something of it? Could he accept it and use it as a bridge to the fire qi around him?

He was tied to wood and water. If there could be a bird made of flame, there could be a lotus floating in the fiery pool of his heart. It was supposed to be a yin aspected fire, so why not? He cast his mind inward, trying to piece together the fire qi within him. Mould it according to his will. It didn’t move easily, but it was already concentrated around his heart. He didn’t have to push it far.

He imagined the little flames licking up into the petals of an open lotus. Not a cruel fire, but a warm one. Purifying. That’s a lotus flame- one that brings peace and purity. Not too hot, it’s a yin aspect fire. Not too cold either. It’s still fire qi after all, and lotuses don’t like too much cold. A nice balance. He didn’t have a good feel for what the crimson palace looked like. He tried to imagine the lotus floating in there in solitary splendor, setting down its roots into his heart.

It was a pretty picture. So why did it fill him with dread? Tian couldn’t quite put it together. He stared a moment longer, then with a heavy push, he dispersed the vital energy. Something was very wrong. He just didn’t know what it was.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Treat it like a disease, or a wound. Diagnose. Where is the injury? At the Crimson Palace, the middle dantian located at the heart. He could only sense it with qi, but visually, in his imagination, it had presented as a lotus made of little flames with a long root stretching down into the depths of his dantian.