TWENTY-SIX: First Assignment

 

Alden froze, one hand gripping the strap on the goggles. The timer display was positioned right over Boe’s forehead, ticking down.

48, 47, 46, 45…

Later, he’d be glad his brain didn’t waste any more time than that. Instead of freaking out, getting excited, or going into denial, his first thought was I can’t have my return teleport drop me in the middle of this lobby.

“I need to get to the basement!” he shouted, turning and sprinting for the elevator.

“Shit,” said Boe.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jeremy.

Gorgon hopped up from his seat and hurried after Alden.

“I got summoned.” Alden pressed the elevator button repeatedly, like that was going to make the door open quicker. “I can’t just pop back up in front of people.”

The System wasn’t going to do something horrible like splice him with another person occupying the same space. And it wouldn’t drop him back in a lethal location if, say, he ever got summoned away from a ship or a plane. But it would be happy to dump him into a crowd full of onlookers who would all be pretty interested in how he’d gotten there. They would all immediately think, Hey, maybe this guy is an Avowed.

He could always lie and say it was a return from visiting Anesidora, but if he was wearing a weird outfit and he smelled like an alien bomb laboratory it wasn’t going to hold water. He’d have to go ahead and register, and he’d rather just wait on that.

He didn’t want the US government following him around and taking notes on his powers before he’d even figured them out himself.

The second the elevator opened wide enough, he jammed himself in. His friends and Gorgon were right behind him.

“You guys…I’m sorry to ask, but would you do damage control on Aunt Connie if it comes up?”

If he was gone a few hours, it was fine. A day or two even. She’d just assume they were missing each other in passing. But any longer than that…

“Give me your phone!” said Boe. “I’ll answer if she texts.”

Alden hastily unbuttoned the Hot Lab Coat so that he could get at his jean pockets and shoved his phone at Boe.

“The passcode is—”

“Oh please,” said Boe, unlocking the phone and giving Alden a wry look. “You think I never peeked over your shoulder once in the past few years?”

Fair enough.

20, 19, 18…

Alden re-buttoned the coat as the elevator opened.

“You can’t use the trading room,” said Gorgon, sorting through a keyring. “Your return time is unpredictable, and another selectee may need it. You may use Conference Room B. Last door on the left.”

“You shouldn’t have bought the lab suit!” Jeremy hissed, chasing Alden as he sprinted down the hall. “What if you die?!”

“Jeremy!” Boe snapped, running after them. “He’s not gonna die. He’s a fucking Rabbit. Gorgon, what’s with this timing? He’s been an Avowed for a few hours. Even with his special class mojo and the gear, what are the chances he gets summoned this quick?”

It was a little unexpected. Even geared-up, high-value Rabbits were usually only summoned a few times a month.

“Some skills are more useful than others,” Gorgon said, taking his sweet time unlocking the door.

Alden put the goggles on. Like the coat, they fit his face perfectly.

Maybe he didn’t even need them. Some Artonan could’ve just wanted a spare Rabbit for mail delivery or something. The timing could have been coincidental.

But better safe than sorry.

He flipped up the hood of the coat and dashed into Conference Room B. It was small and empty. The air smelled stale. The lights didn’t work. Judging by the half-white, half-gray walls and the rusted paint cans in the corner, someone had given up on remodeling it years ago, and it had been sitting empty ever since.

Is there anything else I can do? A bathroom break would’ve been nice. But he didn’t have time. Forty-eight seconds was even shorter than he’d thought.

7, 6, 5…

“Don’t piss them off,” said Jeremy.

Alden wished Jeremy’s face wasn’t pale and scared. It was out of character. It was making him feel weird.

“He’s fine,” Boe said. “Hey, Alden. The outfit’s great. You look like someone who tries to keep his ritual sacrifices hygienic.”

“You asshole.”

1.

Gorgon gave him a small wave.

The last thing he saw before his vision went dark was the three of them standing in the backlit doorway.

 

---

 

The nausea Alden was used to with teleports to Anesidora was missing. So was the sense of instantaneity. He lost physical awareness, but his mind still worked, and he had just enough time to think, I guess cross-dimensional is different than local, before he opened his eyes on another planet.

Weird. I don’t remember closing my eyes in the first place.

 

[Teleport complete. Welcome to Artona III.

Summoner: Bti-qwol. Quest: Hazardous Materials Disposal for LeafSong University.

Further details forthcoming. Await instructions.]

 

Alden braced himself, half-expecting some alien scientist to fling a busted magic grenade at him and say ‘Catch!,’ but instead of a laboratory, he’d arrived in a space that appeared to be designed specifically for summonings. It was similar to the teleportation booth on Anesidora, but it was half the size of his high school’s gymnasium, and the multicolored sigils spiraling over the walls and floor were much stronger.

His newly heightened Sympathy for Magic made him want to stare at them; his sense of self-preservation had him looking at his summoner instead.

The Artonan with the white light halo stood inside an interlocking geometric pattern, just a few yards away. Her skin and hair were both a pale purplish color, and she was wearing a pared-down version of the Triplanets’ traditional wizard’s garb. It was usually harem pants, a tight-fitting turtle neck, and a looser overcoat with wide sleeves.

But Bti-qwol was missing her coat, and her pants were a few inches shorter than normal. She also lacked the large network of dark blue tattoos Alden was used to seeing on Artonans who taught his classes or traveled to Earth on official business. She only had one—a straight line from the base of her left eye down to her jaw.

Alden stood, nervously awaiting instructions like he’d been told to do while she stared at a tablet in her hand. Finally, she looked up and gave him a small toothless smile.

<<Hello, Alden Ryeh-b’t. You’re here to help out with our annual entrance exams. One of our scheduled assistants used a refusal. So last minute! The replacement had to be a Ryeh-b’t. Come with me.>>

She turned and headed for the exit.

When Alden hesitated for a second, his interface prompted him to follow her with a large flashing wall of text.

I get it, I get it.

He hurried after Bti-qwol, and the text disappeared.

The summoning room had a giant wooden door that looked more like it belonged in a medieval castle than in a high-tech setting. But when Bti-qwol said something to her tablet it swung open. The two of them stepped into a foyer where Alden could literally feel himself being scanned, then through another door into early morning sunlight.

The color of the light was off just enough for Alden to be uncertain whether it was really noticeable or only his imagination. The warm, damp air smelled faintly of mildew. That was standard for any of the Artonas, from what he’d heard. People said your nose got used to it quick.

Artona III’s gravity was a tiny bit higher than earth’s, but it wasn’t enough to bother him. Not when he had so many other new experiences to cope with.

They were standing on a wide, paved walkway outside a windowless building that was by far the least interesting thing in sight. Next door, there was a flat rubbery surface covered in painted lines. Alden’s best guess was that it might be a sports field, but there were no stands for an audience and nothing that was obviously a goal.

Bti-qwol led him a short distance down the walkway. The edges were landscaped with giant black and green plants that had a tropical-horror thing going on. A small furry animal was trapped inside a translucent pod on one of the plants, twitching weakly as it was digested.

All the environmental noises were strange to Alden’s ears. There was no sound of traffic, not even a distant one. But something that definitely belonged in the background of a dinosaur movie was squawking up a storm. He couldn’t spot it. The campus was heavily forested except in this immediate area, and the buildings he could see on the surrounding hillsides were partially hidden by jungle.

Bti-qwol didn’t look up from her perusal of her tablet until they arrived at a parking area with just six slots. Three of them were taken by vehicles of a type Alden had never seen before. They looked a little like golf carts, but they balanced themselves on two thick tires.

One chimed suddenly and backed out of its slot before rolling toward them. It had no steering wheel, and the two bench seats faced each other.

Bti-qwol climbed in, not bothering to gesture for Alden to do the same. He followed and took the seat across from her. There was nothing like a safety belt.

The vehicle chimed again and set out, leaving the parking lot and heading down the path. Alden didn’t know what their destination might be, but the most obvious-looking place was a complex of angular wood and glass buildings that crawled up a forested hillside in the distance.

The alien golf cart had no engine noise that he could detect, and it moved at a swift enough pace to give him a breeze. He appreciated that. The Hot Lab Coat was definitely hot in the wrong way right now. He wondered if he could take it off, since they didn’t seem to be anywhere near a lab.

But I got summoned with it on, so I’m supposed to keep it, right? The whole point of the Wardrobe was to make you a more attractive summonee, so it seemed like divesting yourself of part of your stats and abilities was probably a no-no.

He could just ask.

But was it better to be the weird, silent guy who never took off his armor in social situations or the clueless kid who was so jumpy he requested permission for every little thing? Choices, choices.

He decided weird, silent, and sweaty was easier for now. It wasn’t like he was afraid to ask Bti-qwol any of the four thousand questions he had. Much.

She was swiping and pecking away at her pad with a look of frustration on her face.

Finally, she turned her attention back to him..

<<They paused the orientation meeting while I fetched you and moved the welcome breakfast forward instead. I’m sorry you’ll have to miss it. Many of our assistants from other planets look forward to the breakfast each year.>>

So there are multiple Avowed here?

Alden felt some of his tension fade. Considering his quest said he’d be disposing of hazardous materials, he was eager to share the load.

Bti-qwol said I was here to help with entrance exams. And it’s an annual event…with a welcome banquet for the staff? And they have regulars who come back to work it every year.

He’d never heard of or imagined a situation like that, but then he’d always been more interested in what Avowed did on Earth rather than on their missions to other planets.

Oh right, she apologized about breakfast. I guess I shouldn’t be totally silent.

“I’m fine. I ate an apple right before I came.”

<<I haven’t eaten that Earth fruit yet. Trying the most popular foods from our resource worlds is on my list of things to do before my eighth year.>>

Eighth year couldn’t be a reference to her age, so she probably meant years as a student at this school, right? Or maybe at her job…

“So you’re a student here?” he guessed.

<<Yes. I’m a sixth year. I study alien personnel management. I’ve been placed in charge of coordinating the staff for this year’s exams.>>

She sounded proud of that last bit, so Alden smiled and nodded, trying to look impressed behind his goggles.

<<I had everything planned to the finest detail!>> She glared down at the tablet. <<And then the assistant for the laboratory portion of the exams used a refusal after they’d already begun the orientation! Zzhoir had three weeks notice beforehand! Isn’t that very unprofessional?>>

A sidebar appeared on the interface, informing Alden that zzhoir was a pronoun used by one of the peoples from planet Tmith. It couldn’t be accurately rendered in English.

“Three weeks does seem like a long time.”

<<Well, thank the ancestors for Rhye-b’ts.>> She was still frowning a lot for someone who was supposedly thankful for him. <<The Contract doesn’t seem to have your specifications fully analyzed yet. I saw that you were new when it recommended you for the assignment, but…have you not tried your gift on complex lifeforms? It would be nice to have those numbers.>>

What numbers? Obviously she had more information about his skill than he did. Which didn’t seem fair. Would the System get mad if he tried to peek at the tablet?

“I haven’t tried anything alive yet.”

It had occurred to him that it might work. In fact, he was thinking of it as something of a finale for the power testing. And Boe had an entire page of his binder dedicated to living subjects. But first Alden needed to get his hands on something alive that he didn’t mind accidentally killing or mutilating, in case the preservation skill did something gruesome to it.

He wanted to start with something that deserved to die. Like a mosquito. And then work his way up from there to the more charming vertebrate animals. Like gerbils and Jeremy.

Bti-qwol turned away from him to stare at the plants they were passing by. At first, Alden assumed it was just her way of ending the conversation, but after a minute, she stopped the golf cart with a verbal command and hopped off. She headed toward one of the carnivorous plants; it had a frog stuck inside its translucent pod.

Bti-qwol tapped a thick silver ring on one of her middle fingers a few times, and a triangle of light about four inches long appeared from it. Alden thought it might be a knife, and it turned out he was right. Bti-qwol swiped it through the stem holding the frog’s pod in place, and it fell away from the plant easily. There was an accompanying burnt smell.

Note to self, thought Alden. Don’t challenge her to a fistfight.

She gestured for him to step down and take the pod from her.

Alden took the plant by the stem, careful to start walking immediately upon receiving it. He felt his skill activate, and the frog froze in place. The creature had a protective shell on its back like a turtle and bulging black eyes. Where its back feet rested against the base of the pod, they seemed to be blistering.

A little weirded out by his horrible new bouquet, he walked back and forth, taking great pains not to leap around wildly. The skill drain was about the same as it had been with the lighter flame.

<<You should deactivate your trait during the exams, >> said Bti-qwol after peering at her tablet. <<You’re not very proficient with it I see, and you won’t have room to use it well during this assignment anyway.>>

“Okay,” said Alden, still pacing with his frozen frog. “What about the lab coat?”

<<Yes, it’s what made you eligible for this position! Uncommon to find a Rabbit with proper skills and specs for the laboratory.>>

“No, I mean, can I take it off?”

She frowned. <<You’ll get blown up. Many examinees are stupid and nervous.>>

“Not during the lab exams,” Alden clarified. “Can I take it off for now and then put it back on when it’s time?”

<<Nudity is frowned upon in an educational setting. Usually.>>

I should have gone with weird and silent.

“I’m wearing clothes underneath.” It was obvious, wasn’t it? His jeans stuck out the bottom a few inches. Did she think they were part of the gear?

<<That’s fine. But don’t forget to put it back on.>>

“I won’t.”

<<I’ll add it to your quest’s sub-instructions so you don’t. I’ll be giving you a secondary assignment as well. Your numbers are adequate for the task. You may kill the animal and return it to the ground.>>

Alden stopped pacing and looked at the strange frog. When the preservation skill ended, it started wiggling around again. It looked like it was hurt, but he didn’t think it was lethally injured.

“Can’t I just free it from the pod?”

Bti-qwol gave him a curious look. <<Why? It will only be captured by another one.>>

“It might make it.”

<<Klerms make an undesirable racket. Give it to me. I’ll do it.>>

Alden passed the pod with the frog in it over. As soon as he did it, he wished he’d refused. It wasn’t part of his “quest.” If he’d complained once more, Bti-qwol would almost certainly have shrugged it off and let him do whatever he wanted.

Instead the frog got stabbed with the knife ring and tossed into the planter.

Alden wasn’t superstitious, but it felt like a bad start to things. And he didn’t like how easily he’d given in, when he knew he wouldn’t have at home around humans.

Great, Alden. Now you feel like shit. About an alien frog. Snap out of it.

He took his lab coat off and climbed into the golf cart again. While they finished the trip to their destination, Bti-qwol happily chatted about last minute details she was taking care of. Apparently, Alden’s skill would qualify him to be on call for medical emergencies, so she could send someone else who’d been summoned specifically for that purpose home.

<<This will be the most streamlined our staff has ever been during examination week!>>

She also promised to have the “standard human necessities package” delivered to Alden’s room.

When he asked why he would need a room, she finally released the full quest information so that he could see it.

The job itself seemed okay. The entrance examinations had laboratory requirements, and Alden would be in charge of collecting and disposing of any volatile garbage the aspiring students might make.

It sounded like he would be Alden Thorn, Super Trash Collector, for the majority of his time here. And as she’d promised, Bti-qwol had given him a secondary assignment as a resource for university medical staff to call on during emergencies. So he was going to be a Super Walking Ambulance, too.

Alden was thrilled to know that he had a legitimate, life-saving skill. The limitations on it meant it probably wouldn’t be enough to make him instantly hirable for a hero team. But still…he could help people the same way Hannah had helped him. That was amazing.

Only he wasn’t nearly as enthused about practicing the skill during an actual medical emergency when he hadn’t even figured out its limits.

He asked Bti-qwol if it wouldn’t be a lot harder to preserve a whole injured person than it had been to freeze the frog. He didn’t have a clear idea what factors affected the skill drain, but just walking around with an adult Artonan slung over his back wasn’t going to be simple. They were a few inches shorter than humans on average, but Alden didn’t have any idea what they weighed. And what if the person who needed medical care was a bodybuilder?

And Alden didn’t think he was going to have a panic attack at the sight of blood and guts, but what if he did? His only real life experience with that had been dulled by Hannah’s magic.

But Bti-qwol dismissed his concerns one after the other.

<<I doubt they’ll call on you anyway. Last year, the medical team spent all of their time sitting around drinking wevvi in the lounge and gossiping. It’s inefficient. So much better to have staff doing double duty!>>

Alden wondered if Bti-qwol was actually making reasonable decisions or if she was being a little blinded by her own obsession with streamlining. But she didn’t seem to be the only person in charge, so maybe it was all right?

Alden’s double quest assignment came with a list of dozens of Artonans who were allowed to give him instructions. They all had priority ranks, too. Thankfully the System would just tell him when he was given an official order rather than making him memorize who all these people were.

He was also getting paid well. Seventeen hundred Argold for being summoned, five thousand per day for being the garbage man, twenty three hundred per day additional for the secondary quest, performance bonuses TBD.

Alden did the math. He’d be making over twenty thousand dollars per day.

Were the Artonans just loaded? Did it have something to do with the relative value of currency? Couldn’t Bti-qwol take out the trash herself? Or was the skill that unique?

He didn’t consider himself to be very materialistic, but he had to admit that he’d put up with a lot of bullshit for that amount of remuneration. And the main bullshit was the timeline; he was going to be here for twelve days.

Apparently wizard SATs were hardcore.

How were Boe and Jeremy going to cover for him for that long?Beside Aunt Connie, there was also school to worry about.

The upside was that there were no limits placed on his communications for this assignment. He could use the System to call home and let everyone know he wasn’t dead. For the low, low price of a few thousand dollars.

He decided he’d hold off on that until tonight, just in case Bti-qwol thought of some other add-on for him that was going to extend his stay.

It’s a good thing though, isn’t it? I’ll have a lot of opportunity to figure out the skill. Plus I’ll make so much money. And there will most likely be other humans I can ask for advice.

As far as quests went, he thought this had to be pretty close to the peak of cushy.

Their cart had just finished climbing a winding drive to the top of a hill. They arrived at the entrance to something that looked to Alden like it might be a conference center or large classroom building. The cart stopped under a low roof covered in ferns, and the building’s doors, which he had assumed were made of glass, dissolved into sparks of light as they approached.

 

---

 

The breakfast banquet was over when they arrived. Alden was too nervous to be hungry anyway. But even though Bti-qwol seemed to be in a rush, she hurried him into the room where the food had been set up and forced a to-go cup full of wevvi into his hand.

It might have been a cultural thing with her, so he took it. He had a vague recollection of instructor Pa-weeq saying that some communities of Artonans thought wevvi service was important for guests; and for all he knew, LeafSong University was in an area where that was the case.

He’d only had it a few times before, always at school events to celebrate Contract Day. It was a spiced fruit juice that tasted almost exactly like eggnog, and it would have been much more enjoyable if it wasn’t always served at a temperature near boiling.

Interestingly, Let Me Take Your Luggage activated automatically when Bti-qwol handed him the cup. It was a pretty casual interaction, with no obvious intent on her part to give him the drink for preservation.

He filed it away for consideration, and followed her quickly down a hallway with gleaming wood floors, to a semi-circular classroom with three tiers of chairs and tables looking down on the lecturing area. There were around thirty people present, though the room would have held over a hundred humans and Artonans.

Alden did his best not to stare at the first grivecks he’d ever seen in real life. They looked like giant hairless panthers with their joints bent the wrong way, and three of them were lying on top of the tables at the back of the room. They all had on helmets with reflective visors and vests made of thick, interwoven straps.

Alden didn’t know if it was fashion, armor, or life support.

Around half of the people present were human.

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He followed Bti-qwol up to the second tier of seats, where she stopped in front of three middle-aged human men and two lortch Alden thought were male. He’d have to measure the width of their chin ridges to be totally sure, and that didn’t seem like a good way to make friends.

There had been a cheerful general chatter in the room when they first entered, but as soon as Bti-qwol led Alden up to this group it stopped. He glanced around and saw every human eye turned toward him, and most of the alien ones, too.

He had just a second to reflect on the fact that he should have expected this, before Bti-qwol spoke to a man with dark hair going gray at the temples.

<<Pineda, come with me. Your assistance is no longer required for this event.>>

For a moment, the man looked almost panicked as he glanced from Bti-qwol to Alden, but he tamped it down quickly and stood with a smile.

<<Guess I get to go home and relax now!>> he said, pulling a small rolling suitcase out from under the table.

His friends were not smiling. In fact, the short, heavyset one looked like he wanted to fight somebody. His nostrils were flaring, and the stare he leveled at Bti-qwol made Alden’s hair stand on end.

And Alden didn’t know what an angry lortch looked like, but he was guessing the cobra sway thing they were both doing with their heads was some sign of malcontent.

Pineda leaned over and clapped the two humans on the back. He made an unusual double-handed, cross-armed wave at the lortch; then he turned to Alden to shake his hand.

<<Congratulations! It’s exciting to see a boy your age joining the medical team. Hope I’ll get to work with you next year. These guys will make sure you have a good experience.>>

“Thanks,” Alden said, shaking his hand awkwardly with the arm that was holding both goggles and lab coat. “I would love that.”

Oh god, oh god, he thought. I’m taking your job, and I’m probably not even qualified, and your friends look like they want to beat my ass for it.

Pineda was being cool about it, but he had to be cool. What was he going to do? Pitch a fit? At best, he’d be blacklisted by the university and never get summoned for this gig again.