TWO HUNDRED: You’ve Got Time

200

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“Disappointed?”

Alden let the last swig of cold water from the bottle sit in his mouth for a second longer before swallowing and answering the instructor. “A little.”

His feet were surrounded by tennis balls. He kicked one lightly with the toe of his sneaker and watched it roll across the sod tiles Instructor Waker had put down for him. With no other students to pay attention to, Big Snake was being more creative. His throws were coming from every direction. Sometimes he was somersaulting over Alden’s head and dropping the tennis balls from above, or he was bouncing them off the walls of their private block.

It was a good workout. The catching and the returns were at a difficulty level that matched the one Alden had found success with before. But he couldn’t seem to fall into the right frame of mind, and when he closed his eyes and tried to force it, he just got pelted. He was sure he’d have earned a concussion from at least one of those throws if he wasn’t in the gym.

“I’m sorry it’s not happening,” he said. “You even got me ground to jump around on.”

Instructor Waker tossed a ball to him, and Alden caught it with his free hand. Preserving it was simple, of course, but he wasn’t getting that feeling that had led his body to move in pursuit of balls he could barely reach. He wanted to find that flow state where it became him, his entruster, and the thing he’d been given to protect.

“You have any ideas why it’s not workin’ the way you want it to right now?”

“No.”

“Have a think about it for a minute,” Big Snake said. “Don’t answer so fast. You’re usually a good thinker. I see you in class.”

Alden was tired and irritated with himself. He was afraid he was wasting this whole session. Thinking sounded like a larger ask than usual.

He fiddled with the lid on the bottle. “I might have fried my concentration today. I spent a really long time studying before I came here.”

“Other classes treatin’ you all right?”

“They’re fine. I do a lot of personal study, so it’s not just school work.”

“That’s good to hear. I think hobbies are important, and bein’ Avowed gives you a leg up on some things. What are you into?”

Alden’s fingers paused their journey around the water bottle. I walked into this one.

“Artonan culture.” Wizardry. “Origami.” And origami of the self. “I was doing parkour in intake, with a group in F. But I haven’t had much time for that lately.”

“Sounds like fun stuff. Hobbies don’t usually weigh that heavy on a person’s concentration in my experience. Do you think maybe you’re a little unhappy to be doin’ this instead of the thing you requested?”

“No. It was too much. I wish I hadn’t asked.” He really did. If he’d gotten to try it, that would be one thing. The hard no, on the other hand…

Keeping my mouth shut would have been safer. Now he feared he’d stirred up fresh drama.

“Forget I brought it up, please.”

Big Snake shook his head. “Not gonna forget that one, and I’m too honest to say otherwise. But we don’t have to talk about it right this second unless you want to. I brought it up because I wondered if your skill was harder to get along with when your target was someone you were feelin’ annoyed at.”

Alden stared down at a gouge in the turf. It wasn’t like he’d never considered the role the entruster played in making it all work. He thought that how he felt about the person he was bearing burdens for probably did matter in some ways. But to what extent it mattered was a question that was inconvenient to explore for a number of reasons. The least of which was that it was hard to weigh the importance of entruster, burden, and bearer against one another.

He remembered Stuart sending balls of mulch at him and encouraging him to think of them as helpless children to get in a more protective frame of mind.

“Now you’re smilin’! Did I say somethin’ funny?”

Alden shook his head. “I do suspect the skill is easier to use when—” I’m sacrificing and suffering, “—I’m in certain moods. But it still works when I’m in a bad one. And I’m not annoyed with you. I’m annoyed with myself.”

Big Snake rubbed a chin that had a great beard today. He shifted from completely clean-shaven to fully facial-haired when it suited him. “What were you hopin’ to learn from the experience? What about it was so valuable you wanted to revisit it?”

“For just a few seconds something stayed preserved even though I wasn’t physically holding it.” He mentally apologized to Zeridee for calling her an “it.” He just didn’t want Big Snake to ask who the person had been.

He probably will anyway. He knows I wanted to practice with a dummy.

The instructor whistled. “That would be a game changer for you. I see why you’re interested. But I can’t think of a healthy way to help you get all the way there tonight. And from personal experience…some of what you can do when you’re at your limit stays somethin’ that only happens when you’re at your limit. Most people who’ve managed to double-on their foundation points have only done it once or twice. First time it happened to me, I was wild chasin’ after a way to make it into an ability I could use whenever I wanted.”

“Aren’t the side effects supposed to be bad?”

“Yeahhh…they’re not great. The System’s got all of our foundation points very specific, very balanced so that we work right. But when you’re filled with adrenaline, and you somehow tap into that extra, you don’t do it in a balanced way. And if you’re a Brute who’s used to supplementin’ and leveragin’ your foundation points with your other talents, you discover that skills and spells don’t always play nice with you bein’ more powerful than usual.

“I wanted to try it again, though. I worked on it. Even got myself invited to some big parties on the Triplanets and got acquainted with a bunch of wizards while they were in good moods. So that I could ask them about it. I still can’t make it happen on purpose, and I don’t think I’m supposed to be able to. But I figure it will be there for me when I’m in trouble one day.

“So some of what an Avowed can do is like that—last resort, dark days stuff. All the things that aren’t like that, that you’re going to be able to do on sunny days? They’ll come to you with practice. Normal practice. And you’re sixteen. You’ve got time for lots of normal practice, don’t you?” Big Snake barked a laugh. “We’re gonna make you do so much normal practice here before you graduate that you’ll be sick of it! And then when you’re ready for a break, we just shove you straight into uni with an even bigger gym and even more practice.”

To his own surprise, Alden found himself cracking a smile. “You know our gym classes aren’t normal, right? They banned dodge ball at my old school because one guy got a bloody nose.”

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

“Avowed normal.” Big Snake kicked a ball into the barrier and caught it on the rebound. “What I’m sayin’ is that there’s no rush for this kind of thing. We push you kids hard in class, but that doesn’t mean pushing even harder is better. Challenge yourself but don’t hurt yourself for a trick that’ll belong to you in due time if it’s meant to belong to you.”

“I understand.”

“All right. You want to try a little more of this or switch it up?”

Alden thought about it. “It’s actually good to be doing this in the gym, on the grass, without my wordchain. Practicing the movement trait without worrying about hurting myself is helpful for me.”

“Want me to make you get some more leg work in? I can do that.”

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