TWO HUNDRED SIXTY-SEVEN: Snow IX

267

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Most of the lights were off, and the rustling of the plastic and paper shopping bags Alden carried as he left his bedroom was the only sound in the apartment, so he expected to have the living area to himself on Friday morning. The sight of a pair of bare feet and legs sticking up toward their antler light fixture startled him mid-yawn.

Haoyu was alone in the dark in shorts and an undershirt, doing a handstand, his straight dark hair hanging down toward the fluffy rug. His eyes were closed, and his mouth was moving slightly. Whatever he was saying to himself wasn’t audible.

“Hey. We’re both up before Lexi,” said Alden, keeping his voice down so that he wouldn’t disturb the others. “That’s rare.”

Haoyu’s eyes snapped open, and he wobbled.

[Haoyu: No talk! No push! <<Certain number to say!>>]

The System translated half the mental text from Turkish.

Oops. “I won’t mess with you, man. I’m just going to drop this here. Do your thing.”

Alden set the bags on the kitchen table and headed to the bathroom. He took his time, but when he came out, Haoyu was still inverted. Alden bet he hadn’t slept. They’d all stayed up late together arguing about Anesidoran social dynamics and playing a post-apocalyptic video game set in a universe in which most of humanity and several other intelligent species had been killed by pelican-headed creatures of unknown origin. Nobody had said they were intentionally keeping Haoyu company, but even Lexi, who stuck to his routines pretty strictly, hadn’t said he was tired of hunting pelican heads until Haoyu himself had suggested that they stop for the night.

The camaraderie had been a good way for Alden to mute his own thoughts after the calls with Stuart and Boe, too. But then after going to bed, he’d had an old-fashioned bad dream about dropping that jade earring in some rubble and being unable to find it.

Haoyu’s feet thumped onto the rug and he came toward Alden. “Sorry. I was doing something. It’s ridiculous, but it was supposed to be for luck.”

“Weirder things have been done for luck.”

“It’s nice of you to say so.”

“No. I’ve literally done things so weird that I’ll never tell you about them.” There was still a piece of bone stuffed in putty in one of his drawers.

“Is this what you and Lute bought yesterday?” Haoyu asked, watching Alden pull a mask with a warty nose and a bright yellow tongue out of a bag.

“Yes. This is all the stuff for the gift basket I’m doing for our class this evening. It’s going to be a grab whatever you want situation, so if you see something here you’d like to have, go for it. I couldn’t find an actual basket big enough yesterday. I’m going to wrap this big cardboard box in that paper there and pile everything up in it.”

Haoyu picked up the roll of paper Alden had propped against a chair. “You found official superhero paper for Instructor Waker?”

“I did. It’s funny, right? Whoever designed it must have felt like showing him fighting other people wasn’t cute enough for gift wrap, so they’ve got him beating up those cacti. Look at the doodle of his Little Snake form picking needles out of his boot.”

“This’ll give Jupiter ideas.” Haoyu set the roll back down.

He commented on a few of the things that would be going into the gift basket, but fairly soon, Alden found himself doing all the talking while Haoyu spaced out, his eyes fixed on the kitchen nightlight like it was mesmerizing him.

“Could you do decent handstands before you got your powers?” Alden asked, hoping to draw him away from his thoughts.

“Mmmhmm,” said Haoyu. He was holding a bag of caramel popcorn from the pile of snacks Alden had bought, but he had forgotten about it after a couple of bites.

“Let’s all go to the Reindeer Selection finals later. Since none of us have any exams then.”

“Mmmhmm.”

Alden dropped a couple of the mood beast toys into the box. “I got the wizard in the hospital dispensary to give me tons of illegal party potions, and I’ve spiked the snacks here with them. Should I give them out to everyone before gym or afterward for maximum effect?”

“Mmmhmm.”

He’s not hearing me at all.

“Both then,” Alden said. “MPE’s gonna be crazy tonight. I’ll tell them it was your idea when they arrest us.”

“Mmm…” Haoyu blinked. “Wait, what did you say?”

Alden smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it. I was just joking with you, and you missed it. You agreed to go to Reindeer Selection, though.”

“I did? What time is that again?”

“It starts at 11:45.”

“Sure. It will be fun… My mom’s supposed to call around noon.”

Alden knew that. Haoyu had mentioned the time last night. Alden almost asked if he’d rather hang out in the room and wait for the call, but instead, he went with, “She might get to watch the winning reindeer team be chosen from another planet, then. Probably a universal first.”

“She’d think something like that was neat.”

“Hey, it’s the last official day of Bromelimas,” said Alden before Haoyu could be recaptured by the nightlight. “Any final traditions we need to complete?”

“I did think of one after you guys went to bed last night,” said Haoyu. “Thanks for reminding me.”

“Is it good?”

“It will be for three of us. When Lexi wakes up, we—”

“I’m here,” said Lexi, coming down the hall, his hair still tousled from bed.

“We weren’t loud,” Alden said.

“It wasn’t anything to do with you two talking. I had a crazy dream, and I couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“Me too,” said Alden.

“Was it because of the pelican heads?” Haoyu asked as Lexi headed toward the coffee maker.

“It was about Lute, Alden, Kon, and that candy pig.”

“Kon was there?” Alden asked. “What were we doing?”

“Planning something. I can’t remember what you were all planning, but I remember that you shouldn’t have been doing it.”

“Well, that is a crazy dream then. In real life, my plans would be righteous and brilliant. Make enough coffee for me, if you don’t mind.”

“Why wasn’t I in the dream?” Haoyu asked. “Everyone was in the dream but me?”

“It was a dream about them being stupid. Why do you want to be there?”

“You were there, too. I would be stupid with you all. Maybe I was the pig?”

Alden pointed at Haoyu. “That pig took a punch from an Avowed without being damaged. Just like—”

“Like a Dura Brute! So I was there. I’m glad.”

“Me too.”

Lexi grumbled over the coffee filter.

“Since you’re here,” said Haoyu, “we’re going to do something to Lute. It’s a tradition for the final morning of Bromelimas. Last bro to wake up must be pranked by the other bros.”

“It’s like punishment for not respecting the holiday enough to get out of bed,” Alden said. “That makes sense.”

Lexi thought about it for a few seconds. “I like this tradition.”

That’s unsurprising since he’s never the last one up.

 

“I think we should do something to his room,” Haoyu said. “Like booby trapping it with cups of water. Or canned fish. We could open all the cans and hide them around the place, and he’d have to track down where the smell was coming from.”

Lexi looked like he’d caught a whiff already. “Haoyu…”

“It’s not his fault.” Alden rolled up a light blue and white scarf he’d bought from Mrs. Nancy. He tried not to let regrets about yesterday gain traction as he tucked it in with the other gifts. “Haoyu was doing a handstand for too long, and it affected him. Haoyu, the fish can idea would reek. What if it permeated Lute’s stuff? And we all live here.”

“Then what about using something that smells good?”

“Why does it have to smell at all?” Lexi asked.

“I’ve collected some more lavender pouches from North of North.” Alden positioned the masks on top of the mound of presents. “I thought I could win against them, but they just keep coming. The last towel they gave me had two folded inside.”

“I’ve got a collection, too,” said Haoyu. “You made me feel bad for throwing them away.”

“I did? I wasn’t trying to.”

“You kept talking about how strange it was to just trash a perfectly good sachet, and you asked if North of North was sending out high ranks to pillage lavender fields. Now I have to keep them so you don’t think I’m wasteful.”

“Why is Alden talking about people wasting things? He’s using temper spheres as sling bullets.”

“Those aren’t wasted. They’re my spell ingredient, so I should come to know them completely, right? In theory, I’m more likely to have one on me at all times than any other kind of rock. Also, I can make them invisible and then sling them at people. Or I can sling them at people and then make them invisible to create a tripping hazard. Just showing them to my opponent reminds them that an invisible one might be somewhere. I mimed throwing one once, and Vandy wasted a whole second blowing the floor so that she wouldn’t step on it. That was a second in which I could have beaten Vandy…if I had been more competent. And they don’t break that often.”

“Are you sure you don’t just think it’s funny?”

“Every young man dreams of wearing a belt pouch full of magic gear. Don’t make fun of mine.”

“He’s right,” said Haoyu. “I want to carry around Tuyet’s darts.”

“We can’t all be Meisters with fancy weapons,” Alden said. “But just you wait for the day when alien roaches become a problem for us, and you’ll be glad I’ve thoroughly trained myself with my spheres.”

“Why would alien roaches be a problem,” Lexi asked, “and what does that have to do with your spheres?”

“I’m preparing just in case. This apartment could be full of Jatontan pests one day, and then you’ll see what I’m capable of.”

“What is a Jatontan pest?” Lexi inhaled sharply. “Did you bring some kind of infestation back with you from one of your trips?”

“Let’s hope not,” said Alden. “About Lute…”

 

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This narrative has been purloined without the author’s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

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“He looks so innocent when he’s sleeping,” Haoyu whispered. He held a single dried lavender flower over the center of Lute’s forehead, preparing to drop it. The last two he’d tried had rolled down Lute’s face. They’d already taken a picture of their masterpiece, but Haoyu was determined to get the forehead flower right.

Alden was struggling not to guffaw. The humor was only partially in how he imagined Lute was going to react when he woke up to find his pillow covered in lavender and his blanket decorated in swirls of it. Funnier than that was the look on Lexi’s face as he tried not to die from the effort of holding back his own laughter.

Even he couldn’t be mature at a time like this.

They’d started out stealthily, sprinkling flowers around and writing messages in the powder shampoo that none of them liked to use. Alden suspected Lexi had begun to break when he’d turned around to see Haoyu positioning the robot vacuum inside a powder heart with the words “I love you!” written beside it.

With the room done, the three of them had climbed onto the heavy loft frame and decorated Lute. He slept peacefully, his fried egg pillow tucked under one arm, while they balanced above him and tried not to shake the loft.

Haoyu landed the lavender so that it rested on Lute’s forehead. “Perfect,” he murmured. “You look great now, Lute. Emilija should see you like this.”