TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY-THREE: The Other Side

 

273

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Stu approached the hn’tyon’s gate on the road to Rapport I’s burial ground, his boots making little sound against the stones. This was the first morning of his weekend, and a call had come while he’d been engaged in his search for skills worthy of Alden.

Quinyeth-wit waited beneath the high arch of entwined wood that formed the gate. She hadn’t seen him yet. She was so close to the blood mark on the ground that she risked being reminded that standing with one’s toes touching the boundary wasn’t much more respectful than stepping over it. And she was also bouncing in place, whether from anxiousness or some other feeling Stu couldn’t tell.

“Quinyeth,” he said when he’d almost reached her.

“Stu!” She spun, an elbow technically crossing the blood mark without her noticing. “Asay says…Hn’tyon Asay-tor…Declared Stu-art’h, Hn’tyon Asay-tor waits for you in the circle.”

In contrast to her demeanor, her votary uniform was in excellent order. Her pale hair was usually done in playful styles, but she wore it in a simple three-strand today.

Her face.

“Quinyeth, have you implanted a devotion chip in your cheek?” He could see that she had. The raised circle of flesh wasn’t likely to be anything else. “Why? Nobody does that anymore. Doesn’t it hurt?”

“For Asay to see…but he told me to have it removed.”

It sent random painful shocks to the wearer, so Stu couldn’t imagine Asay would’ve wanted his votary to keep it.

“I thought you’d understand,” Quinyeth said. “You follow old traditions and do painful things sometimes. He’s not taking me seriously. I told him I’d been preparing…all year…to be ready to go with his squad on their first mission. But he said no.”

She was young for that.

Asay might have diminished her efforts too much when she told him, though.

Stu looked at the gate. “Why does he want to meet here? So soon after his first binding.”

If he’d asked to meet somewhere else, Stu would have been filled with wary optimism that Asay wanted to mend some of what had been torn. The early days after binding were a time for seeking comfort in friends and family.

“Is he well?” Stu asked. “I thought he’d call me for his last spell. I was sure he’d call before he went into the woods, at least. I even thought he might write a letter asking me to keep vigil for him that night.”

Instead, Stu had heard about Asay completing his first binding from others.

Quinyeth fidgeted. “He’s doing very well. A little sad, but not too much. Everyone has faith in him.”

Maybe he does want to mend something then.

Stu crossed the mark and headed down the path to the place where, each winter, a few knights chose their final sacrifice and their rest.

Asay waited for him at the very top of the stands that surrounded the field. It had been a while since the last assembly here—a show of skills early in the summer. The grass had grown long, and the ground was gifting the sky hundreds of tiny red flowers on fragile stems that brushed against the wide legs of Stu’s pants as he headed toward the new knight.

Asay watched him come with a solemn smile.

He wore the uniform in dark gray, his purple hair caught in familiar jeweled clips. Stu wasn’t surprised Rel had given them to him. Asay saw Stu’s brother as his most important mentor, and he’d have been upset if Rel didn’t give him something to welcome him to knighthood.

Stu made the climb up.

“Hn’tyon Asay-tor.” He bowed slowly. It was his first time acknowledging the path Asay had taken. He would honor it well.

“Sina Stu-art’h,” Asay said, as Stu rose. “Did you see what Quin has done to her face?”

“I did.”

“All I did was ask her to wait another year and focus on school instead of rushing to follow me, and she came back the next day with that implanted. It makes me think she needs to wait more than another year.” Asay shook his head. “Sit with me. How have you been, my friend?”

My friend. Stu searched his face. Asay’s mannerisms had changed much since they were younger. From one of the least mature children in the Rapport, by some measures, to someone who competed with Noh-en to take on responsibilities. But this was a familiar smile, wasn’t it? Something from before the rupture.

“I’m all right,” said Stu. He sat down. “How are you, Asay? Are you glad with what you’ve chosen? Do you need my help with something?”

“It’s harder than I thought.” Asay looked down the rows of bench seating toward the flowers. “I believed our elders, of course. I’ve sat in this place and seen. How much more clearly could anyone know the truth of it before taking the final step?”

His throat moved in a gulp. “I think there is some ignorance that is impossible to shed until a person has gone through with it. The way of things is not kind.”

He laid his hand beside Stu’s on the smooth wood of the bench. It was so close Stu could feel the warmth of another person if he concentrated on his fingers.

“I’ve heard others say that,” Stu said. “But you’re not regretful?”

“Not more than is normal. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to meet me here. It must have made you worry.”

“I was worried about you already because I hadn’t heard from you.”

“When the others and I were talking last night, meeting you here seemed like a good idea,” said Asay.

“Is someone else coming?”

“No, they talked themselves out of it. I think they’re not feeling up to much. But I’m here. I knew it was important for me to speak to you, now that I’m a knight.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m someone who was a child with you. And your friend. And I’ve taken this step, so I can finally speak to you from this side of things, where my words hold less ignorance.” Asay looked at Stu with unfathomable expectations. “Do you want to ask me anything?”

Stu peered at him. This is a strange opening. Is he inviting me to seek his support? Or an apology?

“I…hoped somewhat that you would invite me to celebrate last spells with you,” Stu admitted. “It’s fine that you didn’t. I’m sure you chose what was best for you at that time. I hope it was everything you needed and wanted.”

Asay pulled his hand away. He looked taken aback. “Oh. Thank you. I’m sorry we didn’t really…I’m sorry. It would have been good to have you there.”

“It’s all right.” The apology meant more than Stu had expected it to. “Show me what spell you chose some other time. Cast it for me when you have the strength for it again.”

“I will,” said Asay.

Stu moved his hand a little, inviting Asay’s back. Asay caught the gesture. Stu knew by the flick of an eye that no longer wore its ring.

Asay spoke swiftly. “Stu, I’m here to tell you no.”

The sting of realization.

“No? No to what.” He already knew. It was just so…

“No,” Asay said, determination settling into his face, sorrow touching his voice. “From this side, having been bound and being bound, as your friend who has known you before and after I was like this—”

Stu stood.

Asay-tor stood, too. “No, you can’t do this. It’s too dangerous for someone like you, and it’s not the best way for you to serve our people.”

“Goodbye,” said Stu. “I’m glad you’re all right.

“I say this because I care.”

“What unique power do you think your ‘no’ has?” Stu said. “The first word out of almost everyone’s mouth on the morning when I told them, with so much pride and joy, who I want to be, was no. ‘No, Stu! No. You can’t. Never!’ My own family. What does Asay-tor’s thousandth ‘no’ mean?”

“It’s different because I’m a knight. Before, I didn’t know as well. Now, I do. You have to acknowledge— ”

Stu’s hands landed lightly on Asay’s shoulders. He could feel the enchantments on the coat, subtle but strong. “Please apologize to me. I haven’t begged you for your approval in a long time. You called me here to this place suddenly. I rushed here even though I was busy in the manuscript library doing something important. I was afraid for you.”

“Stu-art’h.”

“Take it back.” Stu’s throat felt tight. “Isn’t this ‘no’ just some project you came up with to distract you from your new binding? There isn’t a reason for you to do this to me that makes sense.”

“I knew you would be emotional,” Asay-tor said, “but for the good of everyone—”

“You are not my friend,” Stu said. “You’re selfish.”

“I’m selfish?” Asay said. “I’m here for you.”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“You don’t even know me anymore. You haven’t tried to.” There was no wall up here. Stu could see all the way to the edge of the forest. “You’re…a prick.”

“A wha—?”

Stu shoved Hn’tyon Asay-tor over the bench. He shrilled as he fell. The uniform made it harmless to his body. The Mother was here if he’d somehow gotten the only malfunctioning knight uniform ever made.

“Look it up!” shouted Stu, as Asay hit the ground lightly. “It’s not a compliment!”

He refused to let a single tear fall on the way back home.

 

******

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“Victor, my dude! Look at you. You’re slimming down. Good cat.” The scarred orange cat gave Alden a perfect look of annoyance as Alden pulled him out of his carrier. “I missed you.”

He’s thinking of biting me.

Victor pressed his head into the back of Alden’s hand for a greeting. “Aw. Thank you. I’ve bought you so much stuff. You’re a rich man now.”

“I see who you really wanted a visit from.”

“You already got your hello, Aunt Connie.” Alden continued to pet his cat. She’d just arrived at the TC, and they were both surrounded by the things she’d brought. The antlers from the storage unit, Alden’s favorite giardiniera, a few presents, and whatever else she had in her bags.

“My old computer?” he asked.

“I’ve got it for you,” she said.

“I really wanted my playlists off it. Thanks for hauling all of this with you. I’m sending you back with almost this much.”

“It’s no trouble.” Her hair was in a ponytail. Her jeans were tucked into the soft boots that she’d said were only for around the house when she bought them a couple of years because they were too ugly for anywhere else.

“Are you planning to walk down the aisle in those?”

Connie looked at her feet. “I just might.”

“Come on. We’ve only got the day together.”

He’d thought a lot about it. There were so many things he could ask her. Or tell her. Arguments, apologies, and heart-to-hearts. “Let’s just have fun.”

He put Victor back in the carrier.

“I’m up for that,” Connie said cheerfully. “How’s your break been?”

“Good.” He led the way toward the exit. “I ended up with more to think about and do than I expected, but yesterday I bummed around the apartment with Lute. Tried to learn to play the guitar…. How’s life with Brodie?”

“I haven’t messed it up yet.”

He thought she wasn’t quite joking.

“I do get a lot of questions about you from his relatives. A superhuman’s more exciting than me.”

“Says who? Those people don’t get any mac and cheese at the next family event.”

“I brought you the recipe notebook,” she said. “You seemed interested in it, so I made myself copies of everything.”

“You’re giving me the original?”

“Your mom wrote on some of them. Mostly random notes like ‘half the butter’. There’s one that says ‘No onions for Alden’. I guess you didn’t like them when you were little.”

Victor turned in his carrier, his tail briefly making an appearance through the bars.

<<There’s a cat in there!>> a girl trotting by with her hand gripped in her mother’s exclaimed. <<Mom, that man has a cat!>>