16. Anybody Home

“Veritas! Up front!”

“Urraaagh!”

Veritas charges forward, slamming her shield into the jaw of the monster bearing down on Aurora. I fire off a shot to her right, finishing the beast she had been engaging previously before it can collect its bearings. Aurora herself is a flurry of movement, simultaneously attacking monsters at close and long range, her orbs slamming into beasts the moment they try to emerge from the black mist.

The Dark World monsters are terrifying, as they always have been, their twisted bodies and crystalline growths turning what could otherwise pass as animals into unmistakable forces of malice. They pour towards us out of the breach, single-mindedly throwing themselves at us with an obsessive need that is equal parts disturbing and convenient. Monsters would be much, much harder to deal with if they didn’t zero in on magical girls the moment they spot us; if they simply spread out into the liminal space, fleeing into the endless alleyways of Earth’s dark reflection, it would be nearly impossible for us to take them down before they make it to Earth and start killing civilians. But while this is objectively a stroke of good luck, there’s still something almost personal about the complete lack of strategy or self-preservation displayed by the monsters during these attacks. It frightens and disturbs me in a way I can’t quite describe, but of course I simply take that fear and fire it right back at them.

“Fᴜʟᴍɪɴᴀɴᴛ Tʜᴜɴᴅᴇʀ!”

A crack of power erupts from my gunstaff and pops three wolfish beasts like grapes in the microwave. The sheer variety of monsters on display is always a surprise, but my team is slaughtering them nonetheless. I can’t help but be proud as I watch them fight, the training we’ve been doing having clearly been taken to heart. As our ground fighters, Veritas and Aurora move as a single unit, protecting each other with weapon and spell against the oncoming tide. I hardly ever need to give them direct tactical orders, but when I do, even Veritas snaps to them without question, trusting me to see things from above better than they see things on the ground. It has taken months, but I finally feel like I have a team.

It’s terrifying.

“Fᴜʟᴍɪɴᴀɴᴛ Tʜᴜɴᴅᴇʀ!”

A huge beast makes the mistake of stepping out of the mist and eating my spell head-on, crushing a couple of slower monsters as its corpse falls. Veritas and Aurora still lag far behind me in terms of magical capacity—it’s just something they’ll get with time and experience—so I have to be on point with my spell usage, taking out the threats that need more than just a lance through the chest to safely dispatch. Against a swarm like this, offense is fundamentally better than defense, and luckily that happens to be my specialty.

It’s funny. I—which is to say, my Minerva form—have an extremely similar fighting style to Castalia, focusing on long-range aerial bombardment over the close-range speed-fighting I prefer when I’m Fulgora. I’ve always really admired Castalia, so I guess if I’m going to have a weird second magical girl form, I’m glad it’s similar to someone I respect.

Not sure why I look like a small child, though.

I’ve gotten used to it, at least. I don’t really like the image of leading such small children into battle as an adult anyway, and I think I’d have a very different relationship with my team if they saw me as the grumpy, jaded Fulgora with almost as much experience as they have lifespan. I’m still their leader, and I still have a position of authority over them, but it’s not quite as… detached. They might be kids, but they’re still my peers, my fellow warriors, and they have earned all the respect due to someone who has made the decision to fight for humankind. I don’t want to loom over them. They deserve to meet me eye-to-eye.

I’m just not sure about the other way around.

My team starts approaching the limits of their stamina, but thankfully the horde seems to be approaching the limits of its ability to vomit more bodies at us. I pick up more of the slack, eating into my cyclical engine of fear to fire off more and more spells so Veritas and Aurora never have to risk complete burnout. We cut it close, but soon enough the attack sputters to a halt, the last few monsters popping out one at a time and getting immediately cut down. It’s been a long battle, but we did it. The swarm is over. I land next to my panting teammates, a smile on my face despite the sweat pouring from my body.

“Incredible job, everyone,” I praise them. “I think that’s the last of them.”

“Heck… yes…” Veritas breathes. “We kicked… their butts.”

“Yeah we did,” Aurora smiles, holding up a hand to high-five. Veritas completes it, and then I do too.

“Okay! We’ll wait another five minutes to rest and make sure and then I’ll contact Uma,” I declare. The others nod, Veritas closing her eyes and taking deep breaths to focus her emotions. We’ll have to work on getting her in the habit of doing that with her eyes open, but I don’t want to scold her after such a good fight. That’s something for our training sessions, not right here.

Once we’re finished resting and no more monsters have emerged from the mist, I silently cast the spell to give Uma’tama a path through the liminal space. They appear next to me moments later, wings fluttering slightly as they hover in the air, looking around to get their bearings.

“Any problems?” Uma’tama asks.

“None at all,” I report. “It was a long swarm, but we handled it.”

“We’re glad to hear it,” they nod. “We always get worried when you’re out for this long. A swarm of this size means this was likely a very dangerous fragment. We’d love to have you investigate, but sealing the breach seems more prudent.”

I stand up straighter.

“I think we can handle it,” I say. “What do you think, team?”

“Bring it on,” Veritas grins. Aurora nods, determination on her face.

Uma’tama visibly hesitates, looking us all over.

“…No,” they ultimately decide. “We believe that you are ready for Dark World missions, but we will have your team’s first excursion be something smaller than this, when you are at your best. Though they haven’t shown themselves, we believe your corrupted sisters may still be in the area. Better to seal off this rift and prevent all of us from accessing the contents than to risk letting it fall into their hands.”

I can’t help but bristle at that.

“We can take them,” I insist. “It’s what we trained for.”

“We have faith you can,” Uma’tama assures me. “But when that confrontation does take place, I wish for you to be well-rested and on Earth. Let us not allow our enemies any unnecessary advantages. No matter how capable you are, the battle will still be hard-fought.”

None of us can argue with that, so we nod and allow Uma’tama to do whatever it is they do to close the entryway to the Dark World. It’s only a temporary measure; sometime, somewhere, this fragment of the Dark World will find its hunger pulling it back to Earth, and at that time who knows how many new monsters could be ready to burst forth from within. But for the near future, our planet should be safe. What more can we ask for?

Uma’tama’s four paws move in a complicated motion, and the black mists of the Dark World flow towards them, condensing into a ball that grows blacker and blacker until it seems to warp the very light around it into darkness. When the gate of mist has been fully absorbed into the sphere, it shudders, pulses, and vanishes, the liminal space twisting and shrinking around us until we are once more suddenly standing on Earth. To my surprise, the sun is standing high in the sky, and I’m forced to squint as the sudden change in brightness nearly blinds me.

“Actually, Uma, what time is it?” I ask.

“Locally?” they ask, and I’m not entirely sure I want to know what answer they would give if I said no. “We believe it is eleven forty-three.”

“Shoot,” I say. “I’m going to be late. Do you mind if we do the full debrief another time, Uma?”

Their little feline mouth settles into the closest thing it can do to a smile.

“Not at all, Minerva. I hope you have a good time with your friend.”

I give them a thankful smile and a nod and fly off towards the center of town. I don’t want to land and change back too close to where I’m going, but I also don’t want to do it too far away and have to walk halfway across town. I really should learn to drive at some point. My brother even gave me his old car, but I’ve just… never had the time to get my license.

I drop down in the middle of a complicated series of alleyways, trying to ignore how little it would actually prevent anyone filming me from figuring out my real identity. There are quite a few exits from this place, but not many people actually using them. There are probably half a dozen different forums online where people have already figured out all of my identities, but I just push the thoughts from my head and walk towards the restaurant where I’ve promised to meet Chloe. Now that I’m in my human form again, I pull out my cellphone and send her a quick apology text. She assures me it is okay with no fewer than four smiling emoji, and I have to admit that somehow it does make me smile.

The place we’ve agreed to meet is just some local mom-and-pop diner, and I find Chloe already sitting down with a laptop and two menus in front of her, poking away at some Word document. I slide into the booth across from her with an awkward hello, and she immediately closes the laptop and gives me a big smile.

“Eliza! Hey! I’m glad you could make it,” she says.

For a split second, I almost instinctively correct her. I almost say ‘it’s Minerva, actually.’ I catch myself, though, closing my mouth before any words can come out. I guess I’m still in work mode?

“Um, yeah,” I manage to sputter. “I’m glad I could too.”

She chuckles, passing me one of the menus.

“Hungry?” she asks.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t eat breakfast this morning. I don’t really feel hungry, but I should eat.

“Yeah,” I say.

“Great!” she says. “My treat.”

“No, you don’t have to—”

“My. Treat.”

I shut my mouth, embarrassment touching my cheeks. I don’t know why I protested. Both of us know I’m broke.

“…Thank you,” I mumble. I should at least remember my manners. “So, um, what were you doing on your computer?”

“Oh, just figuring out college class schedule stuff. Do you know what courses you’re going to be taking yet?”

I blink. Right. When summer’s over, I’m going to college. I completely forgot about that. I honestly feel really bad about it. My brother is insisting on paying for it, but I’m barely even going to be there, aren’t I? It just feels weird.

“…You’re still mid-adrenaline-crash, aren’t you?” Chloe asks, snapping my attention back to her. “Did things go okay at your, uh, unpaid internship?”

I let out a small laugh. Unpaid internship? I don’t know why we do this at this point. Chloe and I have been hanging out all summer, and she never seems to complain even when I constantly have to leave early, show up late, or entirely cancel any plans we make. She knows, and I know she knows, and she knows I know she knows, but I just can’t get myself to say anything. Why? We can just drop the pretenses. I trust her with that.

No.

Why not?

It’s not about trust. Of course I trust her. But she’s already going so far out of her way to do things for me just because of what I am.

I don’t think she’s going to treat me any differently just because I give her permission to use the words we both know she means.

It’s different.

How is it different?

At least like this, she acts like she’s not just doing it because I’m a magical girl. I don’t want to hear her praise me for that. I don’t want to hear her say it’s why she’s helping me.

It’s not the only reason. She’s proven time and time again that she cares about me. She’s not helping me because of what I am, she’s helping me because that’s who she is. She has more than earned the truth for that.

No. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve her.

“Eliza?”

Don’t deserve her? That’s all the more reason I should do better by her!

Getting closer to her is not doing better by her! Honestly, where the fuck do I get off acting this way? What have I done that’s worth getting so self-satisfied over? I can’t believe I’m acting like such a good and responsible leader. Am I stupid? Did I forget?

I did not forget.

And yet here I am leading two kids and acting like a team leader when I got my last team killed.

I’ll do better this time.

“Eliza? Hello? Anybody home?”

I can’t even beat an insane squirrel. There’s no way in hell I can keep my team alive. It’s just going to happen again.

It’s not. And what does that have to do with Chloe anyway? Why can’t I tell her? These thoughts are irrational. I don’t need to be this angry at myself when I’m not fighting.

I can’t fucking believe I would ever think that. Of course I should be angry at myself.

I’m going to tell her.

No.

I’m going to tell her!

No you are not!

“I’m a magical girl,” I blurt.

FUCK!

Chloe’s mouth hangs open, her body twitching a little as she aborts whatever words were about to come out of her mouth.

“Oh, uh, okay, we’re doing this now,” she stammers. “Wow, yeah, I didn’t know that, I’m very surprised. Look how, uh, surprised I am.”

“Um. Yeah,” I manage. An awkward silence passes between us.

“So, uh, which one are you?” she asks, taking a sip of ice water.

“Brave Princess Dutiful Minerva,” I answer.

She begins to choke on her ice water.

“W-wait, hold on,” she coughs. “Are you serious? Sorry, I just…”

“…I’m Fulgora too,” I admit like a complete and utter fool. “But when I lead the team, I uh… yeah. I’m two magical girls, somehow.”

“Okay,” Chloe nods slowly, her eyes wide. “Okay. So I wasn’t totally wrong. Wow. I didn’t know you could be two magical girls.”

“I didn’t either until it started happening,” I shrug.

A waiter walks over and interrupts us, bringing me a glass of water and asking if we’ve decided what we want to order. I realize I haven’t looked at the menu at all, so I panic and point at something relatively cheap. Chloe frowns a little and adds an appetizer to our order afterwards.

“Okay,” Chloe centers herself again after the waiter leaves. “So. We’ve got this out in the open now. Neat, uh, so what are the ground rules about this?”

“The what?” I ask.

“You know, like, I assume you don’t want me to tell anyone else,” she says. “But is there anything else I should know about having this information that isn’t immediately obvious? Are supervillains going to start kidnapping me or something?”

I open my mouth to say no and then reconsider.

“…Maybe,” I admit. “But I don’t think she’s going to hurt you if she does. She just wants my attention. Though if I’m lucky, she’s gone for good. I haven’t seen her in like two months.”

“Oh,” Chloe says. “I mean, I was joking, but good to know.”

“I don’t think she knows you exist,” I assure her. “It’ll probably be fine, but if a giant blue and yellow squirrel ever attacks you, please call me.”

“I… guess I will!” Chloe blinks. “I suppose I wouldn’t know what else to do in that circumstance!”

“Yeah, I guess I have an abnormal amount of life experience in that area,” I manage.

Chloe brightens up.

“A joke! You told a joke. That’s good. You doing a little better?”

“Uh, was I doing bad before?”

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

“Well, you kind of blanked out and stopped reacting to anything I was saying for a bit there,” Chloe admits. “I was worried you were having a flashback or something.”

“Oh,” I say. “No, I don’t get those too often.”

Chloe opens her mouth, then shuts it, then opens her mouth again, and shuts it.

“…I see,” she settles on. “Well, what were you doing then?”

“Arguing with myself about whether or not to tell you, I guess,” I answer. “I know you’ve known for a long time now, and I figure it must be annoying using euphemisms all the time.”

“Not really,” she says. “Euphemisms are fun! And I didn’t know if there was like some rule against telling civilians, so I didn’t want to get you in trouble. Uh. Is there a rule against telling civilians? Are you gonna be in trouble?”

“No, nothing like that,” I answer. “I just… I don’t know. It sounds conceited to say out loud, but I want to avoid the hero worship I guess? I’m not an Earth Guardian for… that.”

I can’t stand people looking up to me.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Chloe nods. “Nobody likes the paparazzi, but for a lot of famous people it goes beyond that. A pedestal is not a very comfortable place to sit.”

“…I wouldn’t describe myself as a celebrity,” I squirm.

“I mean, not in the traditional sense, but I bet people have asked for your autograph, right? You save lives. Of course people love you.”

I can’t decide whether to blush or grimace.

“I guess,” I say noncommittally. “So, you were looking at college classes?”

“Yep!” Chloe says happily, gracefully rolling with the clunky topic change. She opens her laptop back up and spins it around so I can see. “I’m making my own list of all the classes I might want to take and when they’re available. It’s mostly generals for the first couple semesters, so we can probably sync our schedules up pretty easily if you want to!”

It’s not like I’m going to actually be in class enough for it to matter.

“Um, that could be cool, yeah,” I say. “I’d like that.”

I just don’t deserve it.

Could all these horrible internal thoughts just freaking cool it for a moment? Just a little bit? I’m trying to have a conversation with my friend here. I don’t exactly have a lot of them.

Sorry.

What?

What?

“Awesome! I assume you don’t have a major in mind yet?” Chloe asks, snapping my attention back to her again. Still, I can feel the coil of fear in my chest winding tighter. What is going on?

“I… no,” I say. “Honestly, I’m not entirely sure why I’m going to college at all.”

“To have something to do when you’re not busy, I would imagine,” Chloe says. “You’re not the type to enjoy free time. Which… well, I hope I can help with that a little.”

“I think I might just be curious about why Castalia’s doing it,” I admit. “It’ll be neat to go to the same school as her.”

There’s a pause.

“…You know Castalia?” she asks. “No, sorry, that’s a stupid question. I guess I just didn’t want to assume you all knew each other, but like, of course you would all know each other if you live in the same place.”

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know her that well, but I guess she’s sort of an on-and-off mentor for me.”

“Wow,” Chloe says. “Well, I’m definitely super curious, but I guess we should probably figure out class stuff…?”

She’s always ready to give me an out if I don’t want to talk about things. I must come off as a complete mess.

She’s just a considerate person. She’d act that way with anyone.