61. Promises

“Hey, Chloe?” I ask.

“Yeah?” she says as we walk into her kitchen. It’s small but well-organized, just like at her dorm.

“What’s your wi-fi password?”

“Hmm? Oh, it’s BoscoBestBoi, all three B’s are capitalized, and the ‘boy’ is spelled B, O, I,” she answers.

“Amazing,” I say, mentally shaking hands with her router as I crack into a few of her neighbors’ networks as well. I could have hacked hers too, but that just seemed rude. “What are we making?”

The internet unfolds before me as Chloe opens her mouth to answer, an immense amount of data flowing through me all at once. It feels like Thea upgraded my radio transmitter while I was out… or far more likely, replaced it with a better one entirely after the destruction of my old one. Hmm… I wonder if I can get my repair spell to respect my after-market mods since my master is the one who installed them. I have far fewer restrictions in general with Thea as my master instead of Melpomene. Even my spell core is active at a low level for anything I might want, since I know Thea trusts me and would want me to have that access.

So… what has been going on with the interwebs since the last time I was awake? There are a lotta messages to the accounts I used to post Dark Rebellion updates, so I may as well have a gander at some of those… ah, interesting. There are quite a few news articles covering Melpomene’s attack on campus, even internationally. I suppose magical crime is uncommon enough to always be a big deal, and several students died in this particular instance. Given people knew the Dark Rebellion’s faces before all this went down, they were quickly recognized… and the subsequent silence has created a shitstorm of speculation.

> The Preservers silenced the DR and blamed everything on them!

> There’s literal video footage of the purple lady turning into a fucking dragon and blowing up civilian housing, dumbass.

> She’s blowing up more than dorm rooms, if you know what I mean.

> That barely even makes any sense.

> Given that we have no confirmation of the status of any of the perpetrators, their silence speaks volumes.

> Actually, it doesn’t say anything. It’s silence.

Yeah, it’s not worth my time to look at most of these threads. People are mad and opinionated, and they ultimately don’t know shit. Big surprise. I should also catch up on non-magical news, I suppose. Anything interesting happen?

Uh. Hmm. What’s this about a global pandemic?

“Well, given that Castalia is here, I suspect you’ll sneak capsaicin into anything I try to make regardless, so I figure we could do an old classic and whip up an arrabiata,” Chloe finishes saying as I sort through the news. “Your recipe for that is exceptional, and I think we have all the ingredients here already.”

“Sure,” I say. “It’s Nanaya’s recipe, actually. I just stole it.”

“Who’s Nanaya?” Chloe asks.

“Oh. She’s the lady who almost killed Aurora,” I answer. “…And also the rogue magical girl who killed a bunch of soldiers in Iraq like a decade back.”

“Uh. Alright,” Chloe says, giving me an odd look.

“She’s crazy, but she’s a great cook,” I shrug. “Also, quick question for you. What’s up with COVID?”

“Oh. Wow. Oh boy. Well, I guess you don’t have to worry about it too much, do you…?” Chloe says, hesitantly looking me up and down. “Well. I’m not sure what there is to say. The stay-at-home order is over here, but people are still dying, so we’ve mostly just been inside. I’m pretty worried about my dad catching it, so it’s a bit of a relief to know you can’t be a carrier. Although… are you sure you want to crush tomatoes with your, er, components exposed?”

“Oh, good point,” I agree, manifesting my skinsuit again. It pops into place around me in a brief flash of blue light. “I’m honestly pretty comfy not having any skin, though not having my plating does put me on edge a bit. I’m on track to being able to fix them soon, at least.”

“Yeah…” Chloe says nervously, taking another moment to stare at me before she starts gathering ingredients. Bluh, should I be less casual about all of this? I know it has to be a lot for her.

“I… appreciate you taking this in stride, Chloe,” I say. “And also for looking after Bean after I left them high and dry.”

“I’m doing my best,” Chloe says, smiling at me even though she’s obviously overloaded with stress. “Bean… definitely needs a lot of help, but it’s easy to see why you two are best friends. They’re really a wonderful person when they get the chance to be.”

Yeah… I bet Chloe has been really good for Bean. Though now I have to ask…

“You totally have the hots for them, don’t you?” I smirk at her. “It’s okay if you do.”

“I…” Chloe squirms, blushing slightly. “We’ve talked about it already! They’re not into me. We’re just friends, and… well, honestly, that’s probably for the best. Now quit teasing me and dice these onions!”

“Sure,” I agree, snatching up a knife and a cutting board and ending up with perfect tiny cubes of vegetable seconds later. Chloe flinches like someone started a lawnmower right next to her, which I suppose isn’t too far off.

“R-right! Robot. Oh gosh. Could you do that this whole time…?” she squeaks.

“Yeah,” I admit. “I just forced myself to stick to human-feasible speeds to keep my cover.”

“You’ve only been a robot for a bit over a year, right?” Chloe asks.

“Uh… yeah, I guess so,” I admit. “Objectively it’s been over a year, though I’ve been unconscious for… what, ten months of that time? It’s been eight months since Castalia blasted me, but I was also unconscious for about a two-month stretch back when all this started while Thea was figuring out how to crack my communication restrictions. So yeah, I suppose the downside to being a robot is that you can get shut off.”

“I can’t even imagine,” Chloe admits, tossing some tomatoes in a milling machine. “What’s it like?”

“What, being shut off? It’s like nothing. It’s as if I blink and the time has already passed,” I answer.

“I meant being a robot in general,” Chloe says. “What’s it like? I mean, you’re made of metal. Is your brain in there somewhere? Are you really good at math now?”

“My brain is not in here, but my soul is,” I answer. “Which is hopefully just as good.”

“Oh, right,” Chloe says. “Sorry, I forgot that souls are just… real. Wait, do you know what happens when we die?”

“Nope, sorry,” I admit. Although… hmm. Do my databanks have information on this? They do! “Generally speaking, the soul degrades on its own without something to house it, eventually dissolving into raw magical energy. But obviously, it’s possible to trap a soul inside a properly-configured crystal before it degrades. Or after it partially degrades, I suppose, but I’d rather not think about what that would end up like.”

“You can trap souls in… crystals?” Chloe asks. “Should I be worried about those culty people who think they can heal someone with alexandrite after all?”

“Nah, it has to be magic crystal,” I answer. “As in, literally a specific kind of crystal that has no name in our language other than ‘magic crystal,’ though the Antipathy word for it would be ‘logchathotaf.’ I recommend not using that word though, because one, you won’t pronounce it right, and B, it roughly translates to—drum roll, please—magic crystal. So yeah.”

Chloe doesn’t look at me, busying herself thoroughly in the process of cooking.

“…I meant, like, if you know whether there’s an afterlife or not,” she eventually says.

“Oh,” I answer. “No, I have no idea. Though rolling back around to your prior question: yes, I’m fantastic at math, my mind definitely works differently than it did before, and there’s a ton of stuff I can do now that I couldn’t before. It’s neat, overall. I feel very… capable, I guess? The slave stuff was obviously bad, but I’m reading like twelve different Twitter threads at once with my mind right now, and that’s pretty cool.”

“…Well, the Twitter thing sounds super bad for you, actually,” Chloe says, quickly washing her hands before moving onto a different ingredient. I, meanwhile, happily continue to chop up anything she gives me.

“I’m trying to judge whether or not it’ll be safe for me to publicly admit to being a robot or if I need to skinsuit it up for the rest of my life,” I tell her. “There are pros and cons to both. On one hand, I am a sexy steel princess, and the world deserves to know. On the other hand, if the government figures out that I can crack all modern encryption with my brain, they might get a little upset with me.”

I could probably teach them some better encryption methods, but I’m not sure the difference in raw tech level will ever be shrunk without knowledge of magic. This stuff is literally reality-warping, after all. I could do… a lot with it.

I could do almost anything with it.

The Preservers don’t care a ton if Earth Guardians break the law. Technically, just being an Earth Guardian breaks several laws, plus several more if you qualify a transformation stone as a lethal weapon (and you absolutely should). I could make myself almost arbitrarily rich if I wanted to, since money is mostly made up anyway. As long as it’s hooked up to the internet at all, I can probably hack it. Of course, if I make too big of a change, a human will probably notice a discrepancy, and there’s nothing I can really do about that, so my power isn’t completely limitless here. Though if I was willing, I could solve a lot of those issues with blackmail, bribes, and favors.

…Though that probably gets into stuff the Preservers would get annoyed with me about, namely politics. You can’t shake bribe money without slapping a congressman, after all. But if I don’t make waves and I keep things at least mostly self-contained, I still have a lot of options even under those restrictions. The Dark Rebellion was severely underutilizing me, although to be fair I was more limited then compared to now. A lot of the Big Hacks would take a while, even for me, without magic backing me up.

I’m… not sure what I want to do with all this power, though. I’ve never really thought about it. I’ve never been this free before, even counting the fact that I’m technically still enslaved to Thea and beholden to the Earth Guardians. I guess the competition isn’t particularly fierce in this particular contest, but still!

“Yeah,” Chloe agrees absentmindedly.

Ah, right, the conversation I was having. Chloe sounds about as engaged as I was for the past second.

“You okay?” I ask.

“I’m not sure,” Chloe admits. “It feels kind of absurd to complain about anything after you told us you were a literal slave. The robot stuff is… it’s definitely a lot, don’t get me wrong, but that’s harrowing. You play it up and gloss over it a bunch, but I remember what you were like back then. And now I know why. You were being forced to try and murder your own friends. If something like that happened to me, I… I don’t think I could just bounce back from it.”

Ah. That… that makes sense. She might not be an empath, but Chloe has more empathy than all of us. And she’s right. I… I don’t want to think about it. About that time. About the perfect memories of those moments that my programming will use to farm power if anything like it ever happens again. It’s too much. And it’s in the past now, right? I’d rather pretend that it was never a problem.

“…Well, it helps that I was stopped before I could do anything truly horrible,” I answer quietly. “But you know me. Joking around is how I deal with this stuff.”

“Yeah,” Chloe says, a sad smile on her face. “Is it rude to say I’ll miss getting to talk in sign language with you? Translating for Eliza was kind of fun, looking back.”

“I don’t think it’s rude,” I shrug. “We can still chat in ASL from time to time if you want. I can be your personal Duolingo owl! Keep up with your language work, or I’ll post all the porn on your computer to your Facebook page! Muahahaha!”

Chloe does have a Facebook account, right? Oh who am I kidding, she’s a Disney adult, of course she has a Facebook account. The real question is if she actually has porn saved on her computer. She seems more like an incognito mode kind of girl to me… though I might be able to get that history, too, if I really felt like it. Not that I would ever do that, obviously. That would be very intrusive.

“Can you actually do that?” Chloe asks, though she doesn’t seem worried, per se. Just… concerned. About me, not my joke threat.

“By modern technological standards, you can assume I have nigh-arbitrary computing power,” I say. “Not because I actually have infinity processors or whatever, but because I can do stuff that just isn’t possible for human-made computers. So… yes. I can hack into anything with an active wi-fi connection and fuck around with anything that isn’t properly isolated.”

“Wow,” she says. “And you just… do that? You know how?”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Well like, I don’t know how to hack a computer,” she says. “Did you have to learn? Or do you just… do it?”

“Oh,” I say. “Neither, I guess? Or maybe both. My body came programmed with a lot of information that just sort of… feels like memories, to some extent? So I understand what I’m doing, but I never really learned it. Same thing with magic. Fighting is something I’ve mostly had to figure out as I go along, though, at least hand-to-hand stuff. Weird for a combat robot, now that I think of it, but I guess the Antipathy didn’t have hands! Of course, I’m way better at learning than I used to be and can basically make the world go in slow motion by upping my processor speed, so I do a lot of that too.”

“I see,” Chloe says, and I’m not entirely sure how to interpret that, so the two of us prepare most of the rest of the meal in relative silence.

It’s not so bad. Having the internet in my head helps pass the time, and I can run most of my cooking skills on literal autopilot while different parts of my mind nab information from different sources. I guess we’re having a real, proper plague right now. Millions dead. Millions. And I can see several instances where people have begged the Preservers or their local magical girls to help, and gotten no answer.

That has potential. This could definitely be an angle to create resentment toward the Preservers. We know magic healing is real, Nanaya can do it. Thalia used to be able to do it. Except… wait. I’m on the side of the Preservers now. I’m an Earth Guardian.

Wow, that’s weird. That definitely hasn’t settled in quite yet. Damn. Except… hmm. Am I on the side of the Preservers? Technically, I’m just on Thea’s side, and from my understanding, she only defected to the Preservers to save me. Which she did. So are we still going to be working with them?

She still has feelings for Melpomene. She still wants that woman to be worthy of her love. Are we going back to the Dark Rebellion…?

I guess I don’t know. I just don’t know. Surely she wouldn’t do that to me, right? But she might, and I need to be prepared in case she does. Though obviously, priority goes to maintaining our current cover because it might in fact not be cover but instead be real. Ideally, even! I’ll just have to clarify the situation with her at the next safe opportunity.

It will probably be fine.

“Luna?” Castalia asks. Agh! She’s a sneaky lady for being a giant floating emotion aura.

“Yeah?” I ask, my arms apparently busy stirring a dash of cinnamon into the sauce. I wonder what that would actually taste like.

“Are you alright? You felt scared.”

Oh. Hmm. I guess it makes sense that she’d be keeping a closer eye on me than she did before.

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” I assure her. “Just a bit nervous about the whole Earth Guardian thing. I agreed to it real fast, but it was mostly because I didn’t have much of an option, you know?”

“I see,” Castalia says. “You’re… not lying, are you?”

Oh, no.

“Of course not,” I lie. “Though I guess I don’t blame you if you don’t trust me.”

My power reserves have increased to 36%.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” she says. “It’s just that if you are lying, I’ll never know if you don’t tell me. I am not good at that.”

“Well I promise, if I lie to you again, it’s not because I want to,” I say.

“I know,” Castalia says. “That is why I am worried.”

“If you need someone to call Luna out on her bullshit, that’s one of the few things I’m good for,” Bean says, walking into the kitchen behind her.

“One of many things you’re good for,” I correct.

“Agreed!” Chloe says, putting her hands on her hips.

“Ugh,” Bean groans, rolling their eyes. “What are you two, my cheer squad?”

“I mean, yeah?” I say.

“Yup, absolutely,” Chole agrees, pumping her fists in the air. “Go Bean! Go Bean! They’re the best! Beats the rest!”

“Stop, stop, oh my god,” Bean protests, holding out their hands as if to try and physically block the cringe from reaching them.

“It won’t work, Bean,” I tell them threateningly. “With Chloe’s and my powers combined, you will be forced to accept praise and appreciation of your quality of character! You will have no choice!”

“I’m still mad at you, Luna,” Bean scowls, crossing their arms as they lean against the entryway to the kitchen.

“Yeah, I know,” I tell them. “But I still love you, so… get appreciated anyway, nerd.”

“Insufferable,” Bean complains. “Also, you’re changing the subject.”

“Not really?” I lie. “I don’t know what you want me to say. If I was still being controlled, it’s not like I could tell you this time any more than I could tell you last time. But considering that I’m not trying to kill anyone anymore, I think you can safely take that as a very good sign!”

“You’re still freaking out over something,” Bean insists.

“Oh, most definitely,” I agree. “I’m freaking out over a lot of stuff. Like… what has Melpomene been up to for these past eight months? It’s not like she’s dead, right? The Queen of Crashouts isn’t the sort of person to give up on something. When she finds out I’m up and about, she’s going to want to hurt me. Maybe she’ll even find a way to take me back.”

My power reserves have increased to 40%. I’m making good time today! Once I get to fifty I should be safe to finish my self-repair all at once, so I suppose it’s time to look into upgrading that repair spell. Gosh having access to my spell core is so cool. And all because I have a master who doesn’t hate me! Who knew it would be that easy?

Although… hmm. Damn. It’s still not possible for me to modify the repair spell to accept my new changes. Not, however, because I can’t modify my repair spell; I totally can. The problem is that I’ve installed a memory block in myself so that I’m unable to understand the changes Thea made to me that allow me to communicate. I could remove that memory block, of course, but there’s a good chance it would just make Thea’s changes stop working entirely.

Still, I have a workaround. By modifying the repair spell to ignore my internals and focus exclusively on my plating, I can bypass the issue. It won’t be helpful if I take more serious damage again later, but it’ll solve the immediate issue, and that’s good enough for now.

“I will not let that happen,” Castalia assures me, and I glance over to her, watching her awkwardly float vaguely out of the way as Chloe and I work. I give her a small smile and a nod of appreciation.

“My emotions were always real,” I tell her. “The cage has, at the very least, never controlled them. Only what I can do with them. So I know you know I mean it when I say thank you, and that I’m immeasurably grateful that we’re friends.”

Outwardly, Castalia’s only reaction is a small nod, but the aura of joy around her noticeably flares, pulsing several times as she runs the words through her head again and again.

“Me too,” she answers.

God, she’s so cute.

Chloe and I finish up dinner fairly soon after that, and we settle in for a movie-watching party. I, of course, volunteer to download whatever movies or shows people want and stream it directly onto the TV from my brain, but Chloe is an old lady at heart and insists on using her DVD player instead. I can actually see an honest-to-god VHS player nestled in the cabinet next to it, though I have no earthly idea how they expect to hook that up to a TV so new it doesn’t even have component cable jacks. I suppose they could just have a converter, but my money is on a secret CRT hidden somewhere in the basement just in case Chloe needs a life-saving injection of nostalgia.

“Just like old times, huh?” Chloe says softly as the movie ends. “We’re only missing Eliza.”