Chapter Nine – Round Table

Chapter Nine – Round Table

“Host: So let me get this straight, there are two bodies here, right, but both of them are, are you?”

Twinskull: Oh, all the time. I’m used to it now. Sometimes I still wonder which of my stomachs is growling, and seeing out of four eyes takes some getting used to. But it’s really handy in a pinch.”

–Live interview with Twinskulls, July 2028

***

Laserjack was, I decided, a demented fuck.

No one should be able to stand in front of so many samurai with a shit-eating grin a moment after telling them that they’ll all have to do some kindergarten-level self-introduction thing. His grin never even had the common decency to leave as he started.

“My name is Laserjack. I’m thirty-four, I have been a samurai for… oh, three years now? My specialities are social manipulation and amplified light based weaponry.” He bowed his head. “Don’t worry, I swear I’m not using any active manipulation equipment on anyone here.”

“Fucking what?” a samurai flopped on a loveseat behind me asked.

“It’s true,” Laserjack said. “I make a point of dealing honestly with fellow samurai. Now! Shall we go around willy-nilly and give the shy a way out of speaking, or maybe alphabetical order? We could even start from J and work our way around, give those poor A-name people a rest. Or we could start from one end of the room and work our way across!”

Someone near the front sighed, and I saw Jolly Monarch shaking his crowned head. “You’re a piece of work, Jack,” he said. “My name is Jolly Monarch. I’m a long-standing member of the family. My speciality lies in drone control. Specifically a large number of highly disposable drones. I mostly serve as an information officer. If you have any questions, I always have an ear, no matter the subject.”

“Was that a pun?” Gomorrah muttered just loud enough that I was able to pick it out.

Sam-o Ray bounced to his feet. At some point he’d replaced his helmet. “I won’t let anyone accuse me of being shy. My name is Sam-o Ray. I specialise in heavy ray weaponry. If radiation can hurt it, then I can melt it.” He waved at the room, then sat right back down.

Cause Player raised a hand without standing. “I’m Cause Player. I do variable weaponry and armour. Mostly I stream all my fights. Hope no one minds.”

A couple more samurai introduced themselves. One that looked like an office drone and a young woman in ratty leather armour with three arms.

“I’m Mnemonic. Data control, restoration, hardware hacking.”

“I’m Nomad. No speciality. Just like moving around. Happened to be here.”

Gomorrah and I looked at each other while a newbie samurai introduced himself–just some guy that had become a samurai in the last week and didn’t have much to show for it yet. Not that I could cast stones, I hadn’t been a samurai for any longer.

Sighing, I stood up. That fuck Laserjack just kept smiling. He had to know that there was some social pressure fuckery pushing us all to act. “I’m Stray Cat,” I said. “I’m from around here. I do stealth and bombs.”

“Those two don’t go together,” someone at the back said.

I half-turned to see that it was that goth girl in the all-black armour. I shrugged, then had my armour go invisible as a wave, from my head down to the tip of my feet, just a hand-thick band of transparency. “It’s the bomb you don’t see that gets you,” I said.

“Alright,” the girl said with a nod. She seemed satisfied enough with that.

Gomorrah stood up next while I sat back down. “Gomorrah, and yes, I’m a nun. My speciality is fire.”

“Just fire?” Sam-o Ray asked. He obviously didn’t mean it as an insult or anything, not judging by his tone. Just genuine, friendly curiosity.