The Tragic Life and Times of Hyper Cutie Bubblechan Zoom Ranger Sparkle Girl, Magical Girl Mercenary

Prologue

>> 2041
Continent: North America
Country: Old New York
City: Mega City New New York
12:37am

Hello!

My name is Beatrice Smith, but you can call me Zoom Zoom Magical Explosion Happy Sparkles Pretty Girl.

Or maybe… Hyper Cutie Super Death Mega Explosion Flower Sparkle Sparkle Girl?

“Which is nicer?” I asked aloud as I skipped along through a busy corridor. I was in one of the mega buildings on the edge of the city, one of the newer ones that had gone up fairly recently. The buildings all along the coast had been destroyed (through no fault of my own) about two months ago, but this being Old New York, it didn’t take long for new buildings to go up in their place.

Real estate prices here being what they were, it was no surprise that things got replaced quickly.

‘As I have pointed out before, I am incapable of actually reading your mind, though I am able to predict with a fair degree of certitude what you are thinking,’ Chys said.

“Uh-huh,” I said. I adjusted my grip on Chys. She was currently snuggled up against my chest, a bright yellow ball of fluff and fur, with many tails and long ears and very large, soulful eyes. “So if you can predict what I’m thinking so well, then you’ll know that I’m still working on my magical girl name, and you’ll know which of my new options is best, right?”

‘That isn’t how it works, I’m afraid. In any case, can’t you go with something simple?’

“My name is simple. Each part of it is simple. There’s just a lot of them.”

I arrived at an elevator, then slipped into it and was immediately distracted. The back of the elevator was taken up by a floor-to-ceiling mirror-monitor. One of those big fashion displays that overlaid new outfits over whatever you’re wearing then tried to ping your augs with where you can buy that stuff.

Chys, being the best, disabled any of that advertising stuff. One of the very very first things I bought when I became a magical girl (that day when the sky opened up and unleashed monsters onto my home), was a much, much better set of augs than the ones I had already, and those gave Chys the ability to interfere with electronic stuff in the world around me.

So, the me standing in the mirror wasn’t wearing the latest fashion, and my image wasn’t being copied to some database somewhere. Instead it was just me, Beatrice ‘Ultra Shiny Starburst Kawaii Blast Power Diva Girl’ Smith, in her magical girl outfit.

I smiled at myself, then adjusted my top a little. It was a corseted top, which showed a bit of collar and which swept into a long flared coat that poofed out a little like a skirt. It was all white, with a few neon blue highlights that glowed very faintly.

I fixed my hair a little, then nodded to myself. Yeah, I looked appropriately magical-girl-y for my meeting.

“How many aliens do I need to kill before I can get that staff?” I asked.

Chss tilted her head back, big eyes blinking as she met mine in the mirror. ‘You know that each antithesis gives a different number of points, yes? In any case, the catalogue you need is two hundred points for its first class. The staff you wanted was closer to seven hundred. That’s nine hundred total points.’

I pouted. That was so much. I’d blown most of my points on the equipment I had already, and on my magical girl outfit (version one!). It was going to take forever to get geared out the way I wanted to be.

I had a list. I needed shoes that would let me fly (with little wings) and a staff that would let me carry out long-ranged bombardments, and of course some sort of magical sparkly shield generator.

Being a proper magical girl was a lot of work.

The elevator dinged and I gave Chys a squeeze as I turned to face the exit. That had been another big purchase. Chys had been a voice in my head, and I suppose she still was, but now she also inhabited her new body.

It was technically some sort of cloned artificial body, some sort of domesticated cat-equivalent from some alien world, but I didn’t mind. She was very soft, and warm, and she could purr.

I hummed as I left the elevator with a final glance at the number display above the door. Floor seventy-six. I was in the right place.

The company I was visiting didn’t own the entire floor, but it did own like, half of it. The elevator opened into a large lobby area, with some benches and a fountain in the centre. Chys turned her head this way and that, and as she did, some sections of the ceiling were highlighted in my augs. They had hidden turrets! Cool!

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“I should get hidden turrets,” I muttered.

‘That can be arranged. Where would you place them?’

“Urgh. Mom would never allow me to install something like an HMG into the ceiling of my bedroom, would she?” I asked.

‘Projections suggest that she wouldn’t allow that. Not unless you revealed your full identity to her,’ Chys said.