Chapter Sixty-Seven – Tank You (For The Sandwiches)

Chapter Sixty-Seven – Tank You (For The Sandwiches)

“When it comes to at-home self-defence, the popular option, for years, has been a handgun in a safe. We think that’s slow, and unlikely to scare off the prepared bandit.

The self-defence pillow frag!”

–Failed Advertising campaign for at-home high explosives, 2045

***

I wasn’t sure if I should have been disappointed or not, but the first attack against the convoy as it was moving happened so quickly and was dealt with so rapidly that I didn’t even have time to get out of the mobile base before it was dealt with.

The attack hit our right flank, just as we were nearing one of the many little rivers cutting across the landscape. There was an old cement bridge crossing the river, maybe forty metres long. Not even a proper suspension bridge or anything, just a plain old boring thing.

The aliens came out from the side of the bridge, launching themselves out of the brush and rushing at our front flank.

The computer on the mobile base quickly made a headcount and marked out something like half-a-hundred model threes and twice as many model ones. There was a sprinkling of bigger models too, tankier ones, and some of those tentacled fucks.

The tanks came to a stop, then started to rotate their guns to the right.

Then Tankette got involved, circling around and ahead of the formation so that she could aim back at the swarm. She opened up on the lot of them and turned the enemy into so much swiss cheese.

I was left chewing on my sandwich (she’d cut them at an angle, then flipped one half around so that the sandwich looked like a little heart in the box. She’d placed some baby carrots in the spaces left over too) while I watched aliens die in droves.

The boys on the roof were chatting over the coms while taking shots at the aliens in the lead. Once the tanks and support vehicles right behind had the aliens in sight, it was all over. Multiple criss-crossing lines of machine gun fire was a pretty text-book counter to a charge.

The thing that surprised me the most was the reaction to the flying models. Someone opened up on them with a repeating net launcher. The shots would go out for a few metres, then explode outwards into a net some three or four metres wide. The model ones in the net’s path would get smacked out of the air by the net as it came back down, and it looked like maybe the netting itself was sharpened.

Once the last gun went quiet, I waited a beat, then opened up the ‘all’ coms. “Well done, everyone,” I said. “But let’s not party too soon. Keep your eyes open as we cross the bridge. Good reaction out there, Tankette.”

“Thank you,” came Tankette’s rather shy reply.

“She’s pretty good,” I said as I cut off the coms. “What kind of gun is that tank of hers rocking?”

Gomorrah glanced to the side, head tilting slightly. “Looks like a 25mm main gun, and a 5.56 NATO-standard secondary gun. Basically a small cannon and a gun with the same calibre as a basic assault rifle.”

“Huh,” I said. “Well, I guess with a tank that small you can’t have a big gun mounted. I mean, still bigger than what you could carry on your own.”

She could probably reload just by buying more ammo from her AI, so that’d save her a lot of trouble.

“I’m sure we can do better!” Princess said. “Just wait, Knight and I will prove ourselves!” She pumped a fist into the air. Knight just shifted slightly from side to side next to her, clearly feeling about as awkward as someone wearing full plate could feel.

“You’ll have your chance soon enough,” I said. I hoped that was right, because Princess kept edging her way around the central hologram tank in the middle of the command room. I was edging my way around her, and so far we’d gone around the entire table twice.

I didn’t know what this chick had going on for me, but I was pretty sure I didn’t want any of it.

“Hey, maybe we could stick you and Knight with Gomorrah? She’s a fantastic samurai. I bet she could show you all sorts of tricks.”

Gomorrah’s head snapped up and she looked my way, then towards Princess. “Princess, is that suit of yours flame retardant and fireproof?”

“Uh, no?” Princess said, sounding pretty damned uncertain.