Chapter Thirty-Seven – Honest Samurai Reviews

Chapter Thirty-Seven – Honest Samurai Reviews

“Look, I don’t care how woke your review is, the audience won’t care what you have to say if you can’t even beat the first fucking level!”

-GamersPortal Comment, 2029

***

I kind of expected things to move faster than they were, but it was clear a few hours in that I had set my expectations at one level and reality was conspiring to be at another. Which was fine, I supposed.

Basically, while Grasshopper expected the big gun to be ready by nightfall, Major Tinwhistle was a bit more conservative. “By tonight?” she asked when she finally had a spare minute where she wasn’t screaming at people not to fuck up. “I… suppose it’s possible, but only if by tonight you mean before the sun rises. Even then, that means my guys will be working through the night.”

“Would letting them get some rest be better?” I asked.

“Do you work at your best without sleep?” she asked right back.

That was a fair point. I wasn’t the best when I was cranky.

Grasshopper hummed. “That’s unfortunate, but it’s not altogether unexpected. To be quite honest we are still a ways ahead of where I expected to be, so I can hardly complain. You’ve been doing good work. All of your people have.”

Major Tinwhistle nodded, but by the set of her shoulders I could tell she was proud to hear that. “Just make sure you let the general know. I don’t want to die a Major. This kind of project is either the kind of thing that’ll be so black-listed and classified that it won’t help me get promoted at all, or it’ll be the kind of thing that’s so big they won’t have a choice but to pin a medal on my chest.”

I laughed. “You have things figured out,” I said. “But yeah, give your guys a break, I think we’ll be fine finishing the big gun tomorrow. Right?”

Grasshopper nodded. “We will. We can likely start purchasing some things now. I intend to buy some construction drones in any case. They’ll be able to work through the night.”

“Oh?” Tinwhistle asked. “I wouldn’t say no to Samurai-tech help.”

“Hmm, mine are all back home,” I said. “But I don’t think it’s suitable for this kind of thing.”

“It’s fine,” Grasshopper said. “I will be purchasing large amounts of raw materials. Mister Hedgehog and Miss Princess said that their catalogues couldn’t truly help with the gun itself, but they’re willing to share the cost for the materials required to build the basing structure.”

“What did you buy?” I asked.

Grasshopper tapped her chin. “I’m buying the main gun. I think I have the largest pool of free points to spend on this kind of project. Miss Gomorrah is purchasing a number of shells for the gun as well as the fire-control computer. Mister Crackshot Cowboy bought the targeting system and its hardware already. He had a fantastic catalogue for that.”

“Huh, everyone’s pitching in,” I said.

“Yes! Tankette will be buying the loader, since that meshes well with her catalogues. Hmm, would you mind buying the entry portal and some of the ammunition? You have a catalogue for that, right?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Exotic Single Use Explosives. Bought a–technically not a–nuke with it once, I’m sure Myalis would love to help us throw different things at the wall to see what sticks. What about Gros Baton? The new kid?”

“Oh, he’s quite a lovely young man,” Grasshopper said.

I nodded, then realized that I had no idea where he was. For that matter, I didn’t know where Rac had run off to either. Suspicious.

“He’s taking care of site security, which is also quite important.”

“Fair enough. Is he the one that put up those balloons? They made my augs fritz whenever I looked at them too long.”