Chapter Twenty-Nine – Weaponized Cringe

Chapter Twenty-Nine – Weaponized Cringe

“Stores slowly faded into obscurity as the 20s turned into the 30s. As we approach the 40s, an entire generation has grown up unfamiliar with the idea of walking into a retail location to buy anything more complicated than a frappuccino.”

–The Decline–Consumerism and the Future, 2036

***

I took a little breather next to the corpse of a model fifteen. Or at least, the head bit of the corpse. The rest of its body was buried under the rubble of what used to be the front of a building. The facade hadn’t taken kindly to my treatment of it, and I suspected the rest of the building would have to be taken down eventually because it wasn’t in that great a shape anymore.

What mattered was that the aliens hiding inside were dead. Or stuck under a few tons of torn up cement. In either case, no longer an issue for me.

The miniature tide of aliens in their area had crawled to a stop, so I figured I was good for a little break, at least until more of them tore their way out of whatever hole they were hiding in.

Of course, that’s when I received a call from Intel-chan.

“What’s up?” I asked as I connected to the… intelligence officer? What even was their rank? They must have been pretty good at their job if the militia endured their eccentricities.

“Oh-hiyo!” Intel-chan said as their avatar appeared in the edge of my vision, one arm waving over their head. “So, we’re kinda fucked back here, wanna help us, onegai?”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to, not when I was being asked that way. “What’s the situation?” I asked as I stood up properly. All this fighting and stuff was really killing my back, even with the armour doing lots of the heavy lifting.

“Your girlfriend’s army is finally moving up to the walls to relieve some of our militia boys, but we’re spotting aliens on the inside of our defences. Particularly… right here, and here. I’ve got militia stationed around the area with some of our light assault vehicles, but LAVs can only do so much and I don’t want to send anyone into what might be a tunnel leading right into a hive.”

I checked the map and noted that Intel-chan had highlighted two spots. They were a block or two into Downtown, so well past the first walls we had, but still on the outskirts of the parts of Downtown where people were actually living.

“Alright,” I said. “How are things in River Heights?”

“Calming down on the alien front, doing the opposite on the people front,” Intel-chan said. “Want me to tell your girlfriend to get on it? She seems good at motivating people.”

“Hmm? No, it’s fine, I’ll see to it in a bit. Are any of the samurai free right now?”

“Sprout is,” they said.

“Cool, send them to the smaller of the two holes. It can’t be that well defended. And he needs the practice. Maybe send some of Lucy’s troopers with him, or some militia guys. I’ll plug up the other one myself.”

“Sending a message to Lucy-sama now!”

I frowned. “Do you… have a problem with Lucy?” I asked.

Intel-chan shook their head almost violently. “No way! I think it’s super cute! When I found out that you brought your girlfriend here, I practically sugoi’d!”

“Please, don’t… don’t weeb at me.”

“Hey! I’m a third generation weeb you know. We’re some of the most oppressed people in North America.”

I decided not to poke at that, if only to preserve my own sanity. “I’m on my way back,” I said.
So far, things have been going pretty well. Sure, new fires were popping up all over, but we were on top of them. Things could, and probably would, spiral out of control eventually, but eventually wasn’t right now, so I contented myself with what I had.

On the return trip to the wall, I flicked mines left and right, tossing them behind partial cover and through open, ground-floor windows and spots where I suspected a model fifteen or something might want to lurk in the future.

It was a worthwhile investment, I figured, to trap this entire corridor. Even if only a third of the mines I left behind me went off and took out an antithesis or two then I’d be in the black point-wise.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

I reached the wall, searched for a way up, then noticed some of the militia guys pulling their gun aside in one of the openings so I went over there and swung my way through the entrance feet-first. “Thanks,” I said as I passed them.