Chapter Sixty-One – Introspection

Chapter Sixty-One – Introspection

“Existential crisis?

Existential crisis deez nuts!”

–Last words of celebrity host John Lewort before his on-air suicide, 2048

***

The next morning, after breakfast with Lucy and the kittens, and after texting Rac to make sure she was okay (apparently she had stayed the night in the museum and had collected ‘heaps of the good trash’ for me) I headed out with all of my gear. Armour, launcher, a couple of guns, and of course my sword hanging by my hip.

I could have just stayed at the hotel, or maybe I could have gone to check on the museum, where the contractors were supposed to have started working already. But that didn’t feel quite right.

Sitting back and doing nothing wasn’t something I was all that keen on. I would get restless, and start worrying about things. I used to be able to distract myself with my media feeds, but since becoming a samurai, things like sensationalized news just didn’t hit the same. I wasn’t able to get angry at whatever the feeds told me to get angry about as easily as I once had.

It had taken one glance at my feed and at the top news story of the morning to convince me to get up and go do something. That the top news story was still last night’s assassination attempt might have had something to do with it.

Where are we going now?

I stepped out of the elevator on the main lobby floor of the hotel and started towards the door. There were more people with camera augs out that morning, following me with their strangely blank gazes as I started out across the room.

“This morning we’re going to check in on a couple of things,” I said. “First, that assassins-for-hire group. They’re bound to know something. Then we’ll maybe pay Dupont another visit. Because I’ve been thinking.”

What have you been thinking about?

“I killed Doc Hack. Probably a couple of his stooges too.”

Are you feeling guilty about it?

I shook my head. “No. He was a delusional bastard. Maybe someone could have reformed him, but he was actively hurting people. Can’t say I’m all that sympathetic. Probably a bit fucked up, but, yeah, that’s how it is.”

Then what is bothering you?

Myalis was being very pop-therapy-ish that morning. “What’s bothering me is that I was willing to kill Doc Hack for being a dangerous freak, but I wasn’t willing to do the same to Dupont, who’s arguably a worse menace to the city.”

Interesting. Your reluctance to rely on violence at the time isn’t too strange. Humans generally need to be primed for action before they’re willing to resort to aggression. That means that specific environmental factors need to be fulfilled in order for a human to consider violence.

“Like what?” I asked.

For one thing, if an area is considered a peaceful one, one that the subject sees as a safe area, then they are less likely to resort to violence than if they find themselves in an unfamiliar, hostile environment. The actual psychology is a lot more complex than that. A human brain is little more than meat with delusions, it’s no wonder that while generalizations can be made, these will not hold to any scrutiny beyond grand statistical conjecture.

In your situation, specifically, Doc Hack’s termination was done in a hostile environment, after violence had already occured. He posed an immediate physical threat to your own safety, and replied to aggression with aggression.

“Alright,” I said.

Whereas you met Dupont in an office space. Not one you were intimately familiar with, but one that you recognized through cultural osmosis. It was not a violent environment. He also didn’t pose an immediate threat to you or those close to you. The threats he could level against you were more social and metaphorical.

“So that’s why I didn’t sword him?” I asked. I came to a pause in the lobby. I… didn’t quite know where I was going, so I sat down on one of the little benches to the side and set my elbows on my knees to think. Probably gave the paparazzi sort plenty of great pic material.

No, the reason is significantly more complex, and one that I can only guess at–though my guesses are generally very accurate, of course. The reasons I outlined are those that are simple enough for you to understand them.

“Huh,” I said. “Well, thanks for dumbing things down.”

It’s my pleasure, Catherine.

“You’re not worried that your samurai– Vanguard is a bit of a sociopath?” I asked.

You’re not.